Raw

Writers: Avery, Yvonne
Date Posted: 7th April 2015

Characters: Harki, Talwynn
Description: Tal and Harki mourn P'nal in their own ways.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 11, day 22 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: P'nal

Riveth had started a high keen when it happened, and the surge of profound pain over their bond told Talwynn it was someone they'd both liked. When she realized it was P'nal, her heart contracted a pinch. She hadn't had any interest in him beyond the mutual respect of colleagues, but she'd hoped maybe they were something like friends. And now he was gone, and Jodeth would never fly Riveth, and she wouldn't have a discussion with him at the table...

It was a lot to process, especially when it was hit her harder than some of the other losses they'd had recently had. The uncharacteristic distress she felt made her angry, and her movements as she helped to bag firestone were more aggressive than usual. Her focus on working rather than feeling meant she was bagging and firestone through the whole Fall, and she was sore and needed a good long soak when it was all done.

The soak gave her time to remember who else might be upset by the happenings. She and Riveth weren't tired like the dragons who had flown Fall, so she shook out some mark pieces from her stash and took a quick hop /between/ to the Vintner Hall. Then she went to the Dragonsfall kitchen and got some sweet snacks. And then she told Riveth to let her friend know they were showing up.

}:Mine is coming over, unless yours really says no,:{ Riveth informed the other green.

There was a long, long pause. }:That would be all right,:{ Cerillith said finally. }:She has turned away others but will see yours.:{

Talwynn knocked on the door to Harki's rooms with her good foot. "I brought wine. And company." she called in through it.

The door was yanked open. "How about one and not the other." Harki's eyes were bloodshot and her expression grim as she held out her hand, palm up. "I'm not in the mood to be entertaining."

Talwynn passed over the wine skin so she could manage ducking past Harki. "I'm going to help you drink this. Drinking alone sucks more," she said flatly.

The other greenrider stared at the wineskin for a moment, irrationally angry that Tal had invaded her weyr unasked.

Cerillith nudged her thoughts. }:Riveth's has brought you a gift. You should thank her, and be glad that she is with you. You are thinking too much of Jodeth's and she can help you think of something else.:{

Harki scowled, then heeded her dragon's advice and closed the door. "I'll be bad company," she warned.

"Nobody's good company on a Threadfall day," Talwynn reminded her. "We're all cranky monsters who just want to forget."

The greenrider shrugged and went to find a pair of glasses - or at least one glass, for Talwynne. "It was... a bad Fall," she admitted after a moment. A reasonably clean glass was found next to her bed, and Harki wiped the rim with the edge of her sweater before pouring the wine. She held the glass out to Tal and kept the wineskin for herself. Maybe that was greedy, but it _had_ been a bad Fall.

The maimed rider wasn't going to say anything negative about it. She sipped from the glass, taking a pause to appreciate it. She'd asked for something strong enough to do a good job but palatable enough to not be rotgut.

"The Hall sure knows what to sell," she said, shifting to try to sit comfortably.

"You went to the Hall?" Harki raised her eyebrows as she flopped onto her bed. She felt a little uncomfortable that Tal had gone so far out of her way, and she was acting like a bratty little instead of a dragonrider. "I-- thanks for sharing." She couldn't quite meet Talwynn's eyes as she said it.

Talwynn shrugged, her right shoulder raising more than the left one. She didn't know how to respond, so instead she tried to explain a little of why this had mattered so much.

She was sure Harki would understand what she meant. The dragonriders who flew the whole Falls probably only knew it when they were grounded, and suffered short-term helplessness. But the smaller colors who only flew a half-Fall spent part of it protecting themselves and each other, and then part of it playing the agonizing waiting game. When deaths happened, they wondered if they'd held out a bit longer, if they could have prevented it. But Talwynn didn't even fly the half-Fall, and today the sense of shame at her safety ate at her.

"When I heard, I thought - what if I was up there? What if Riveth and I could have done something? Instead I was just bagging firestone and watching weyrlings, nothing that really matters. Just waiting to see who makes it home." Left unspoken was, and who doesn't. "So I thought, today we deserve the good drinks."

"Thanks." Harki said grimly. She took a swallow of the wine, barely tasting it. Tal, as usual, was so right it hurt. She _had_ been there, only she hadn't been looking out for her Wing properly. If she'd only been better at her job, she might have been able to do something to keep P'nal on Pern. Of the two of them, he was the better person, the better dragonrider, and more valuable to the Weyr. It didn't seem right that he was the one that had died when she kept breathing.

The wine helped, a little.

They sat in silence for a while, drinking, until the wine was mostly gone. "I didn't think you knew P'nal," Harki said finally. Tal didn't usually feel rider deaths so keenly, so there had to have been something.

"He won our last flight. It was nice," she said, a little softer. "I know what people said about him being a stick, but he was a good man, and he didn't make me feel lesser."

"Of course not." Because P'nal was a good man. The wine roiled uncomfortably in Harki's stomach.

"You wanna talk about it, or just keep drinking?" Talwynn asked.

"Talk about what? How he died? All the gory details?" Harki said caustically. She most definitely didn't want to talk about it, and deflected the question the easiest way she knew how. "He's dead and that's it. The end."

"There were a lot of rumors about you two. Any truth to it?" Was that why Harki was so sharp-edged today?

"What rumors?" Of course there were rumors. Dragonriders couldn't keep their sharding mouths closed. "Why would there be rumors?"

"Because people talk. I never put stock in it myself," she added.

"Stock in _what_, exactly?" Harki ground out.

Talwynn tried not to take it personally. She'd had her own bouts of defensiveness. "You and P'nal being anything more than wingmates. But you were just friends, right?"

Hari laughed bitterly. "We weren't even that. "But maybe they should have been. When P'nal had approached her, her feelings on the matter had seemed pretty clear. But now? "We were just wingmates, that's it."

Harki didn't seem the kind to settle down, and they'd been in the same Wing. So it must have been so. Talwynn took another sip from the glass, rather than say anything else about it. "You and Cerillith came out fine, right?"

The other greenrider nodded. "Not a mark on us." It didn't seem right. "It was a bit windy, though. We were lucky." And P'nal hadn't been.

"Was it? The forecast wasn't that bad..." Talwynn's voice trailed off. She hadn't been the one who'd submitted the official one. But suddenly she felt another irrational surge of guilt, and she swallowed the last of the wine in the cup.

"You want to get out the Weyr, do some throwing?" she asked.

Harki thought about that-- leaving the safety of her weyr, putting straps on Cerillith, and meeting the pitying gazes of the rest of her gossipy Wingmates.She shook her head. "Can I take a rain check? I think I just want to finish the wine and turn in early tonight. Maybe tomorrow, though."

"Or a restday if it's better. My schedule's pretty open," Talwynn said casually, not wanting to press.

The other greenrider nodded. Tal was a good friend, both to come to her weyr after the Fall and to stay there when she was a beast to be around. The wineskin in her hands was nearly empty. She stared at the rough exterior and tried to swallow the lump that suddenly formed in her throat. "Thanks," she said after a moment, hoping that Tal would know what she meant.

"Not a problem. Can I have a bit of what's left?" the other greenrider asked.

"Yeah. Sorry." Harki screwed the cap back on the wineskin and tossed it to Talwynn, feeling a little sheepish. "Next time it's my treat."

Talwynn caught it smoothly, poured herself a little more, set the glass down, and took a moment to re-secure it before returning it. "There, the rest is yours. And I'm gonna hold you to that."

Last updated on the April 10th 2015

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Raw