Thinking's Overrated

Writers: Eimi, Yvonne
Date Posted: 25th February 2006

Characters: Harki, U'kaiah
Description: Harki confronts and tries to comfort U'kaiah after the fight
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 10, day 13 of Turn 3

Although she hadn't seen it first hand, Harki knew about U'kaiah's fight almost as soon as it had begun... but she wasn't in time to catch the bronzerider before he left the Dining Cavern, and then was called in by the Weyrleader. A Wingleader in a fight... that was unusual enough, but _U'kaiah_?! **I never thought that he had it in him,** Harki thought.

}:Kalamath says that he is upset,:{ Cerillith said quietly, and the greenrider sighed. Of course he was upset - that was like saying that Thread fell when the Red Star was in the sky. U'kaiah wasn't a fighter - he had a temper, certainly, but he preferred hiding out in the archives to trading blows with the other young boys - and girls. And that was where she'd looked for him first - U'kaiah hid out in the archives when things went wrong. But he wasn't there, so she asked Cerillith to track him down for her. He was in his weyr, so she knocked on his door. "U'kaiah?"

The bronzerider heard the knock, but chose to ignore it. U'kaiah wasn't in the mood for company. He couldn't face people. They knew.
They all knew. And if they didn't yet they would soon. You couldn't hide a demotion in the weyr...

"U'kaiah, I know you're in there. And I'm going to pound on the door until you either open up or it breaks in half." Harki pounded her fist on the door for good measure. "Or you go mad. Whatever comes first."

**Kalamath, please pass a message to Cerillith to tell her rider to go away...** U'kaiah thought numbly.

}:Cerillith, please tell your rider mine needs her and to just open the door.:{
**Traitor. I heard that.** It did bring a slight smile to the bronzerider's face.

A moment later the greenrider walked in, rubbing her hand. "You know, you could have _told_ me that the door was unlocked. I think I've got bruises."

"If you had tried to open it you would have known," he said, turning his eyes towards her with a small smile.

"Yeah, but you're grouchy when I walk in on you." She flopped over onto the couch next to U'kaiah. "You okay?"

U'kaiah snorted. "Well, I lost my oldest friend, probably one of my dearest friends too, my wing, and my nice big bathing pool. It hasn't been a good day."

"Oldest friend?" Harki couldn't help but feel a brief pang of jealousy. "What are you talking about?"

"Sarian," the bronzerider all but growled. "Our friendship is over."

Of course... Sarian. "What do you mean, your friendship is over?
You've been friends for _turns_. She can be a dimglow sometimes, but she's not all _that_ bad."

"No. Not this time," U'kaiah said, his anger beginning to surface again. "This time she went to far."

The greenrider frowned. **Shards and shells.** "What did she do?"

"She just did something that was thoughtless and cruel. And then she said something that..." He shook his head. How could he explain what she said? "She cares about no one and nothing but herself and her own entertainment."

Harki sighed, got up, and headed for the cabinet that U'kaiah stored his wine in. Sometimes there was a bottle left over, or something that he's stashed away. "Sarian doesn't think that far ahead, but she's not _that_ self-centered..." It rang a little hollow, and what was worse, the cabinet was empty. "And while I'll miss your bathing pool, it's not the end of everything."

U'kaiah shook his head and looked up at her with eyes that were glazed with a sense of hopeless. "No, Harki, it's not the end. This is only the beginning. And I will have to live with this for a long time. I have lost everything, Harki. _Everything_."

The greenrider snorted and slammed the cupboard shut. "Don't be ridiculous. So you lost your knots. You're smart. You'll get them back again. Besides - from what I heard you got a few good licks in with N'vanik. That counts for something!"

The bronzerider shook with a hollow, mirthless laugh. "I've lost Jaela, now I lost Sarian and Trae. I've lost my weyr, my wing, my knots, my right to fly Thread. I've also lost D'wrayt's faith in me, my good reputation and spotless record, and the respect of the other riders. What good are my knots to me now? And if all that buys just a few good licks on N'vanik, it wasn't worth it." His head dropped into his hands as he felt weighed down by his losses. "It wasn't worth it, Harki. It wasn't worth it."

"Well, it's done." She peered into the bookcase, hoping for something alcoholic, but all that was there were _books_. "You buggered up, so now you pick yourself back up and fix it. And you haven't lost my respect, although it's being seriously diminished by the lack of anything to drink here."

"I drank it all," was the bronzerider's muffled reply.

"Are you drunk now?" Harki asked suspiciously. That would explain why he was so mopey.

"I wish I were," U'kaiah sighed as he leaned back into the cushions. "Getting wildly drunk sounds so good right now." "Well, I could always go down to the kitchens and find something for us, or..." she trailed off hopefully.

"Or?" he asked, glancing up at the greenrider.

"If you sit in here, you're just going to mope. Come out with me.
Let's go skiing, or find a new cove to swim in, or- I don't know, climb trees or something." The best cure for depression was to forget all about it - to make your blood sing with the joy of being alive and in your own skin. "We can get a bottle of something strong from the kitchens and go throw boulders off a cliff. It'll be fun!"

"I appreciate what you're trying to do, Harki," the bronzerider said with an apologetic half smile. "But... things are just not that easy."

The greenrider crossed her arms. "So what - you'd rather sit around here and mope?"

"Shards, Harki," he muttered in exasperation. "This is actually _serious_, all right? I didn't just lose my company for an evening, or tore a hole in my favorite tunic or lost a waterball game. I can't just forget this. Besides," he looked around his good sized weyr with a tired sigh, "I have to start packing."

"Leave it until tomorrow. I'll even help you carry stuff." Harki walked over to stand in front of him. "I'm sorry, Harki," U'kaiah said as he looked up at her with tired eyes. "This just isn't something I can just think about tomorrow."

"Fine!" she said, a little put-out. "So what _do_ you want?"

To change time? "A bath in my nice big bathing pool." Who knows when he would have the chance again?

"You want company?"

"Only if you take your clothes off before you get in the bathing pool," he said with a slight smile. "I don't want to have to go finishing for your undergarments again."

"Well... we could always leave it for the next guy," she said. "Great, just get me into _more_ trouble," U'kaiah said with an amused shake of his head.

The greenrider grinned. "Well, if you're going to go out, you might as well go out with a bang!"

One of U'kaiah's eyebrows shot up as a slow smile spread across his face. "I _knew_ you had an ulterior motive."

"If you mean that I came here wanting to pull your head out of your ass, then yes." She slipped onto the couch beside him and put a hand on his knee. "What were _you_ thinking?"

"Don't you get it yet, Harki?" he asked with a half smile, running his fingers along the back of her hand absently, "I'm not thinking. I haven't been thinking for some time. At least not anything that's of any use."

She shrugged. "Thinking's overrated, anyway. I've never done much of it, and I don't regret a thing."

**And that is also why you will always be a wingrider...** "You're very lucky, Harki. I regret a lot."

"It's a waste of time." Harki stood and held out her hands to the bronzerider. "Come on. You said something about visiting your bathing pool that I'd like to put into action."

Last updated on the February 25th 2006

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Thinking's Overrated