Colorless.

Writers: Leigh M-F., Jelena
Date Posted: 25th April 2016

Characters: Genna, A'kua
Description: A' kua and Genna talk life, love and parents.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 5, day 10 of Turn 8
Notes: Mentioned: Ilyssia and Gwynnyth, Eionen (ONPC), Sinla, K'ran,

Notes: A'kua's lyrics sung to the tune of Serena Ryder's "A Little Bit of Red".

Genna

Genna felt a little spring to her step as she moved towards the storerooms. Though nothing had actually been resolved, she suddenly realised how proud she was about even /going/ back home. Like a rite of passage or something. And she was pretty sure A'kua would be proud too. Maybe she could even inspire him a little on how he handled the situation with his father.

Sure, there were a lot of other emotions regarding her visit to her mother, but pride was the one she could handle right now.

"A'kua? Zeiranth told Lissath you were available for a chat?" she said as she approached her friend. "I can help out with your chore while we talk."

The tall redhead was seated at a table he had dragged out of its place in order to work. He was sorting through all sorts of small to mid-sized leather objects. He had been at it for about half a monotonous hour, so he was very glad for the distraction. "Any help would be appreciated," he said, motioning for his friend to grab another chair. "I have to take stock of what can still be used once the dust is wiped off." He couldn't do too much else for a couple of days. His hip was still sore as anything. "Zeiranth said Lissath's request sounded important. Is everythin' all right?"

"It is, well, all things considered at least," Genna said, knowing A'kua would probably understand she was still upset about the whole mess with K'ran. "But I wanted to tell you I went back home to talk with my mother."

The redhead looked at the blonde in astonishment. "Really?" he asked, surprise evident in his tone. The junior goldrider had been so resistant to the idea. "How- How did it go?"

"Alright, I think. I don't know. She told her side of the story, but I'm sure you can relate to me not wanting to trust everything she's saying too easily. I'm going to need some time to think on it, I guess." Genna shrugged a little defensively. "But I'm kind of proud I actually did it."

"You should be," A'kua said. "Now she knows exactly how you feel and where she stands with you." He smirked a little cruelly at the thought, but the expression cleared after a moment.

"Well, she did know how I felt," Genna said with a slight shrug. "I made that abundantly clear when I left. To be honest, at this moment I don't really know how I feel myself. She said a few things..." Genna trailed off in thought for a moment, before picking back up again. "I guess maybe I've started realizing there might be good reasons to do something wrong. I just need to figure out if her reasons ring true for me."

A'kua almost protested her reasoning; if Genna still felt betrayed, there was no way her mother could justify her wrongdoing. And then remembered the things he had done wrong back the hold, namely stealing in order to run away, or just get a little something extra to help his mother make meals, or finish repairing a garment, or any other number of daily chores. Thus, he kept his mouth shut on that subject, and said instead, "Just take it with a grain of salt."

"Definitely," Genna was quick to agree. "She claims my father knows. I guess I should find out if that's true. If she lied about that, there's no reason I'm going to believe all the rest of it."

"If he knows, I can't believe there's any way he's fine with it," A'kua said. "It's different here, but I'm still jealous every time Gwynnyth rises." He just didn't make a fuss about it because he had been Ilyssia's first and currently her weyrmate.

"Hmm, I know what you mean," Genna said, her gut twitching at the thought of K'ran in Rhosyn's bed. "But maybe it's different when you've lived together all those years without really loving each other anymore? If we fall out of love here in the Weyr, there's nothing to stop us from..." she trailed off, her face showing signs of upset again before she pushed those thoughts further back. "Regardless, there's no reason to think on it too hard, I'll just let it sit with me for a while before I decide what I think."

"Sounds like a wise choice," A'kua said. After a moment, he added, "Hey. For what it's worth, I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks," Genna said, the intensity of her smile betraying how much she had been wanting to hear that. "So, how are you and Zeiranth progressing?" Of course she heard things through the grapevine, but these stories were always so much better straight from the source.
"We're flyin' now. Soon it'll be betweenin' and a temporary weyr. As soon as I graduate to the wings, Ilyssia told me in no uncertain terms I'm movin' in with her," the redhead said, smiling fondly at the thought of his weyrmate.

"That's good," Genna said with a warm smile. "I'm happy for you. How does Zeiranth feel about moving in with Ilyssia and Gwynnyth?"

"He says if it makes me happy, it makes him happy," A'kua said. "And Gwynnyth is one of the few greens he's not shy around since, in Zei's words, she's easy to talk to."

"That works," Genna said with a smile. "Zeiranth really is an easygoing fellow, isn't he?"

"Aye. Still surprises me how mismatched we seem sometimes." A'kua shrugged. "Sometimes…." He caught himself and shook his head. "Never mind." He got back to work. "So what's next when it comes to your folks?"

"I think I'm going to have a private chat with my dad when I see him next, figure out how much of her story is true, and then I'll decide what to do next," Genna said after a moment of thought. "Have you ever reconsidered what your father told you?"

"He's not my father," A'kua said automatically, giving his friend a sharp look. "What brought this on?" Oh, wait, that was obvious. He was silent for several minutes before answering. "You're one of the only people I'd admit this to," he warned, and let out a heavy sigh. "There are times I wonder if I made a mistake, castin' him out, because he wasn't lyin' to me. But I still hate him too much to ever forgive him. Even if I didn't hate him, I probably never will forgive him for his- his- his blatant idiocy. I just-" He paused, putting a hand to his face, a nail digging into the scar slashing horizontally across his cheekbone. "I'm so much like him I can't stand it, and I see him every time I look in the mirror. I can't escape him. I guess that's another reason I hate him so much: I thought I'd escaped, and he showed up."

"I was surprised when I went back to see my mother, when I realised how much we really look alike. I guess I wanted to forget about that, but it was painfully clear when I was there." Genna paused for a moment as well. "I think maybe staying angry at her is also staying angry at myself in some way. And perhaps that is exactly how I'll end up like her, a bitter and lonely woman."

"I doubt that. She doesn't have Lady Lissath, for one," A'kua said bluntly. "She doesn't seem to have the friends you do, either. So how could you be angry at yourself?"

"I have her blood, I have the same looks, the same personality traits. If I hadn't been Searched, my fate would have been hers too. I would have married someone deemed 'appropriate', had children and lived my life in the same place forever. Who knows, I could have turned out exactly like her."

A'kua looked his friend right in the eye, and said "No. That's not possible. You already learned from her mistakes, didn't you?"

"I guess I did," Genna said with a small shrug. "It probably would have depended on circumstances still, though. But there's no use dwelling on that for too long. Things are as they are and you can't change the past. All I can change is how I deal with the future, you know?"

Ah, changing the past. If only. "So what are your plans for the future?"

"Talk to my dad, go from there. Everything else..." Genna's face fell slightly, as she realized she didn't really have any future plans. They had flown away with K'ran, it seemed. "Just keep breathing I guess."

"Don't let that be all you do," A'kua cautioned. "I did a lot of that at Bex; just waited, survived, got by, until I ran away. It hurts. So if you need to change your future plans, do it. It'd be for the best."

"I wouldn't know what to do. There's nothing I want beside Lissath anymore." Genna looked at her friend numbly for a moment, as she suddenly became keenly aware of the emptiness inside her. Going to Amber Hills had been a nice distraction from that and perhaps that was the real reason she had finally done it. "I never had plans, besides marrying well and raising children as expected. I had plans here, with K'ran. Join the Waterball team. I was hoping one day we'd be weyrmates. Now... everything just feels dull and colorless."

Shards. This was going to take drastic measures, wasn't it? A'kua got up, biting his lip as his hip protested mightily, and went to his friend to take her hands. "Oh darlin' blue, oh darlin' blue, come here, I'm gonna smear another color on you," he sang with a larger trace of accent, gently and slowly spinning her around. "Get outta bed, li'l sleepyhead: Your black and white needs a li'l bit of red. Your black and white needs a li'l bit of red. Oh whoo hoo, oh whoo. Oh my darlin' blue, my darlin' blue, come here, I'm gonna smear another color on you. Get outta bed, li'l sleepyhead: Your black and white needs a li'l bit of red. Your black and white needs a li'l bit of red."

A small smile krept up on Genna's face as A' kua's tune picked up and her eyes watered a little, before she clung to him in a tight hug. "Oh A'kua, I don't know what I would do without a friend like you," she sighed, tears and smile mingling. "My dear, dear harper angel. Thank you for that. I'll find myself again, for Lissath and for you, and I'll be so colorful your eyes will bleed."

"Don't do it for me," A'kua said, a little breathless from the hug even as he returned it. "Do it for you, all right? And remember, K'ran _will_ be back. This is his home, and you have his heart." He was pretty sure she did, anyway.

"I'll do my best," Genna nodded. She wouldn't, no, couldn't believe things would work out between her and K'ran anymore. It felt childish to still hope for that happy ending. But she had Lissath and her wonderful friends and that had to be enough, right?

Last updated on the April 27th 2016

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Colorless.