Wasted Time and Frivolities

Writers: Avery, Heather
Date Posted: 4th March 2019

Characters: K'lvin, Riveenata
Description: K'lvin comes to a serious decision regarding Riveenata after the scare with his heart.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 4 of Turn 9

K'lvin sat in his weyr dreading the decision that he had reached. The
scare he'd had earlier that morning with his heart had been a rude
wake-up call. The healer had reiterated to him his "limitations"
considering the "condition" that he had. It had been a sharp reminder
that he wasn't normal, not anymore, not since the heart-attack. He
would have to live a different lifestyle than other dragonriders. A
lifestyle that he didn't want to impose on Riveenata.

She was young and healthy and deserved to be with someone who could be
carefree and fun.

}:Savith's has heard about your visit to the infirmary and is on her
way to see you.:{ Xmrenth broke into his thoughts.

**Okay.** K'lvin exhaled slowly, feeling anxious, despite what the
healer had just told him about keeping his anxiety in check.

Riveenata had gone on Search that morning, and come up without Savith
having found a single candidate. She'd had a quick lunch and then
dropped by the infirmary. She wasn't scheduled that day, but she did
have a friend who was laid up she wanted to check up on. And while
there, she'd overheard K'lvin's name batted around, and immediately
she'd had Savith ask Xmrenth about if she could go see him.

As soon as Xmrenth told Savith that she could go see him now,
Riveenata was out the door and on her way to K'lvin's weyr. When she
got there, she tapped on the covering door of K'lvin's weyr. She
wanted to just come in and see him immediately, but she was respectful
of his space, and she hadn't just let herself into his weyr before,
and she shouldn't start now.

"K'lvin? It's me, Riv," she called.

"Come in," he called back as he took a seat at the same table they'd
sat at many times before playing card games.

She slipped in the door and looked around his weyr. "Hi there. Thanks
for letting me drop by."

"Of course," K'lvin he said, not rising to greet her but gesturing to
the chair on the other side of the table. "Have a seat."

She took the seat as he suggested, tilting her head like a young
firelizard tracking food, puzzled. K'lvin didn't get up, he was
pointing at the chair, he seemed all distant...what was going on?

"Xmrenth says you heard about my visit to the infirmary this morning."
K'lvin said, lacking the typical warmth that usually accompanied a
visit from Riveenata.

"I was dropping in to check on S'hari, and I heard someone on shift
saying you were there this morning, yes," she said. Her tone was a
little wary. "What happened? Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm okay. I was experiencing some funny rhythms in my heart when
I was jogging this morning. I went by and saw Journeywoman Urlene. She
seemed to think it was mostly related to my diet and the powders I
took this morning for a headache. Oh, and I hadn't eaten yet." The
bronzerider lifted his shoulders a little. "I should be fine, she
said, as long as I'm not so stupid moving forward."

She looked visibly concerned. "Diet and powders...okay. I'm glad it's
not more serious. The way you sounded I thought she'd said something
worse..."

"She did," he laughed dryly. "She reminded me that I have a condition
and that because of that I can't do all of the things that I once did.
I will most likely never be the person I once was." For the last
couple of sevendays he'd nearly forgotten that; having been caught up
in Riveenata. "It has really made me think...."

What was he saying? He wouldn't be the person he was... so he was
thinking... The greenrider felt a flutter in her belly. She'd been
really enjoying all the time he spent with her. It had started off as
them being pushed together by the mindhealers - then they'd struck up
a genuine friendship - and now they'd spent that whole day together
after Panitath's flight. A day which had been surprisingly pleasant,
and made her think. Made her wonder if, maybe, there was something
more growing.

When he said he was really thinking about things, she wondered if he
sensed it too. If being reminded of mortality again had made him more
aware of what to cling close to while he had it. She leaned forward
unconsciously, anticipatorily.

"It has made me think about the time that I've been wasting lately."
The words were uncharacteristically harsh coming out of his mouth, but
K'lvin was determined to deter her from ever thinking about him again,
at least, thinking about him fondly. K'lvin didn't know if he would be
able to resist Riveenata's appeal, and the truth was, he didn't want
to waste _her_ time, not when she deserved someone who could be like
her. But if he hurt her now, and she moved on, he felt as though it
would save her in the long run. He saw himself as nothing more than a
deadend. "I have to start focusing on my health more, spending more
time with my girls, and spending less time on frivolous things. That's
why I think it's best if we don't see each other anymore, outside of
duties, of course."

She'd been hoping that he'd been going to ask her to turn this -
whatever this was between them, this potential - from a hypothetical
possibility between them into the realm of it being something
concretely named. Instead, he said this. *This*.

Riveenata felt like she'd been slapped. It might have been better for
her to have actually been slapped by him. It would have hurt so much
less. "Wasting? Frivolous?" she repeated, dumbly.

She got herself to her feet, somehow, aware that tears were beginning
to pour out of her eyes and down her cheeks. It was humiliating but
she didn't move to wipe them away. He could see them. "Fine," she
choked out, turning and heading for his door.

K'lvin's hands curled into fists as his eyes slid closed. His heart
seemed to scream that he was making a mistake. It encouraged him to
stop her before she left, to plead temporary insanity, and beg her to
stay. His brain, however, assured him that his actions were just and
in Riveenata's best interest. The bronzerider said nothing as she
left, and the silence that enveloped him when she was gone felt
suffocating.

**You did the right thing. You did the right thing,** he assured
himself. In a couple of days, the brief dalliances they'd shared would
fade from her mind, replaced with someone more appropriate for her,
and then she would move on with her life and forget all about the way
he'd hurt her today.

**You did the right thing....**

Last updated on the March 11th 2019

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Wasted Time and Frivolities