Thinking of love in a darkness

Writers: Paula
Date Posted: 26th April 2019

Characters: G'nir
Description: G'nir thinks of love and does some soul searching in darkness.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 10, day 19 of Turn 9
Notes: Takes place after: "Where is She, How is She?"
Mentioned: Baila, Saibra, Rorela, Hygalia

G'nir

After G'nir left infirmary and Rorela, he returned to his weyr. He
took a quick bath, wrapped a towel around him and walked to the
weyrledge. Having been born and raised in Beryl Plains, the coldness
of spring evening didn't bother him. He just couldn't forget how
Rorela looked when she slept. So small, so serene, so vulnerable.

He remembered how it had felt to hear she was Scored, like he had been
blunged to icy cold water, breath and heart stopping for a moment,
then feeling cold all over.

G'nir was a man who didn't let others close to him easily. So, when
exactly has she sneaked into his heart? That annoying little girl who
followed him around when they were weyrlings?

G'nir thought about all the people he loved or had loved: his mother
and father, sisters (brother not so much) and other relatives. His
children, Grilec and Rinnea. If he had more, he didn't know about
them. Grilec's mother, Baila, had all been passion and fire but not
truly love. Saibra has been like that too, a physical attraction.
Rinnea's mother had been first woman he truly loved. A sweet, young
holdbred greenrider, she had know exactly how to handle him. She had
tolerated him with a gentle patience. Some people might have mistook
her meek and timid, but she had the calm, quiet strength some women
had. Ah, the way she looked him when he had done something stupid.
That greenrider Aileyan, sort of reminded him of her, which was true
reason why he didn't get involved with her. Hygalia, smart, ladylike
yet a free spirited and strong willed, now she had know how to deal
with arrogant male-egos too. With a jolt G'nir suddenly realized who
she reminded him of...his mother. His lady mother had much of the same
qualities, just more tempered with age. No wonder G'nir had realized
too late how he felt about her.

Sensing the pain of all these remembered griefs and heart-breaks,
Nirreth crooned comfortingly and asked: }: Why do you dwell on these
past things? Now is now, not yesterday. :{

**It's a human thing. We remember so we can learn from our past
mistakes,** G'nir replied and leaned against his warm hide.

}: I don't make mistakes, ;{ Nirreth remarked smugly and turned his
head to receive eye-ridge scratch from his rider.

**So, that's why dragons don't remember things,** G'nir chuckled but
then became serious and lost in his thoughts again.

But had he really, learned from his past? Or was he about to repeat
them again, this time with Rorela. Funny, infuriating Rorela. Little
Rorela, G'nir found himself smiling, who could drive him crazy and
make him make a mess of his office desk. Smart, focused, ambitious
Rorela. Then he thought what it would feel to lose her and he started
to shiver. The night had fallen properly and moons were raising.

}: You should go inside to warm, :{ Nirreth said with concerned tone.
But it wasn't cold that was giving G'nir chill. But his dragon was
right in one thing, it was getting late and he needed get some sleep.

**Good night, Nirreth, ** G'nir said, gave him pat and returned
inside. Could he? Could he learn from his past, not make same mistakes
all over again? Make things work with Rorela? Could he change and grow
or was he doomed to be the arrogant jerk of bronzerider, always alone
except for his dragon?

Last updated on the April 26th 2019

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Thinking of love in a darkness