It Will Be Sharding Great
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Danielle, Eimi
Date Posted: 10th April 2006
Characters: Shadux, Benamil
Description: Shadux and Benamil talk about Benamil's situation.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 11, day 1 of Turn 3
Benamil fled to his sanctuary after yet another meeting with his Father. The stables were quiet at that time of day, most of the runners drowsing in their stalls. He walked down the aisle and stopped at Wind's stall, the grey immediately went to start nosing his pockets for sweets.
"You're spoiled, aren't you?" He asked as he scratched behind her ears. "That she is," Shadux said as he walked our from behind the mare.
"And I just gave a complete rub down and everything. She's still looking for more attention."
"Shadux. You are too kind to this sorry excuse for a runner." There was genuine affection in his voice. He gave the runner a pat on her neck, and brought out the bit of redfruit he'd stashed in his pocket and let her take the treat. Benamil turned to the one man in all the Hold he felt at ease with. "How are you?"
"Not bad. I rode Wind down to the dam for my father today. It was a beautiful ride! Took most of the day heading down there and back." He rubbed his tailbone dramatically. "I think I didn't have much chance to ride this winter. I'm feeling it now."
"True, but how I wish I could have gone with you. I'd rather deal with the worst imaginable saddle sores than go through yet another meeting with my father."
"That bad, huh?" Shadux had always had the upmost respect and
admiration for Lord Benaroy, and it saddened him that it seemed to have had a better relationship his friend, despite their blood relations. "What was the meeting this time?"
"Oh what else, truly? The same. At least this time he made the excuse of talking about the numbers of herbeasts and suchlike before mentioning that he wanted to send me to a particular Hold to seek out runners and a wife." He sighed, and leaned against the wall.
"Well, all your older brothers have found someone. He's just trying to help." And make an alliance for the Hold. Shadux knew that. But it was Benamil's lot in life, whether he liked the idea or not.
"I know. But I'm sick to death of hearing about it. And the implication that I'm not as good as all of my older brothers because I _haven't_ found anyone. I'm just tired of being compared with the lot of them. Why can't I just be myself, and find someone in my own time? It's not like our bloodline is running the risk of drying up. Look at us, Shadux. Look at father's brood of offspring. Look at my brothers' ever-increasing
families." Family get-togethers were a headache and a half. Benamil kicked at the dirt floor. "And I know about the alliances he wants. I just feel as though I'm being used and naught more."
"It's not just you, Benamil. Everyone in this entire Hold is expected to do their share to repopulate it. My time is coming soon. You don't think people are aren't already asking _me_ when I will marry?" Twenty-four was getting a bit old not to be at least _thinking_ about it at Amber Hills. "And if you want to inherit someday, you will need a Lady Holder. Or even if you have your old Beastcraft minor holdingsomewhere."
"That's all everyone ever talks about. Inheriting this or that. No one ever asks if you even want it." He turned and scratched Wind's ears. "I'm being ungrateful and selfish. But seriously, can you see me as a Holder, even of some minor hold? I'm just unsuited for it compared to my brothers. They can at least act the part. I'm just...me."
"I think you're more than suited," Shadux protested. "The way you work the crafters and holders makes you more than qualified. You make sense to them, and they feel you truly listen to what they have to say. They like you, Benamil, and they know you would treat them fairly. Those are excellent leadership qualities."
"Oh, here. Maybe with them, but with the rest of the Hold thinking I'm some lackwit.." He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "I've heard them. Ever since I was little. How I'm better off living out in the wilderness with traders and holdless folk. No one truly takes me seriously."
"Your father takes you seriously," Shadux corrected him in a confident tone. "He has faith in your abilities."
"Oh, yes. Except in the ability to find a wife." It always seemed to come back to that.
Shadux shrugged. "Well, you haven't found one yet, and he's not sure you know where to look. Doesn't mean he doesn't know you'd make a great Holder."
"Sometimes it seems like all you need to be a great Holder is to sire enough children." Benamil said.
His friend chuckled. "Well, your father certainly has done that."
"Just so. And some of the brothers are catching up with him."
"Well, they're certainly doing their part, that's for sure," Shadux chuckled. "And your sisters too."
"And with the rest of my clan trying to repopulate the planet, why are they so determined to get me a wife and have even more children?" Benamil grinned, "Soon enough will have an entire Hold that bears a striking resemblance to my father."
"Why don't you want a wife, Benamil?" his friend asked curisouly.
Shadux actually thought a wife of his own would be fabulous. But not yet. His father still had so much more to teach him without the obvious distraction a wife would bring.
No one had ever asked him that before. It took him a moment to answer. "I don't really know, actually," he said slowly, only just figuring this out. "I suppose its simply because everyone has been pressing the matter on me for so long. It's expected. And I just don't want someone because they're forced into an arranged marriage. I think that would just bring bitterness and resentment, since I'm just not the perfect little "Lordling" you know? I want someone who genuinely likes me, for who I am."
Shaddux shrugged. "Well, from what I have seen, marriages for love can sour just as much as marriages for other reasons. It's all one big game of chance really." It was kind of a depressing thought. "But some find happiness in their marriages. Look at your sister, Benley. She had an arranged marriage, and yet she was truly happy."
"Even so...I can't help but think she'd be taking me for pity, or for ambition, and naught else."
"Come on now, Benamil," Shadux laughed as he gave his friend's shoulder a slap. "Don't be so dramatic! At least your father is asking you to _meet_ people. How can you ever chose a woman if you keep hiding in your stables and refuse to meet girls, hmmm?"
"Maybe she'll find me here. Because she likes runners. That would be nice." He grinned.
"All right, the next big Gather, this is what I'll do. We'll meet some girls _together_ and see if we can't get you to knock this passive attitude of yours."
"Well, that might not be so bad."
"Not bad? It will be sharding _great_," Shadux said giving his friend an encouraging slap on the shoulder.
"Thanks, Shadux."
Last updated on the April 18th 2006