Returning Home
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Writers: Heather
Date Posted: 20th February 2020
Characters: R'nar, Ranni
Description: R'nar helps Ranni and the baby move into her weyr.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 13 of Turn 10
"Home sweet home," R'nar said as he helped Ranni into her weyr and got her settled into her bed.
Ranni had Eranar swaddled in a snug wrap around her chest for easy transport. "It is good to be here," she agreed with a weary sigh. It was so nice to be in the privacy of her weyr, away from the hectic traffic of the infirmary.
As she settled into her bed it felt familiar, her blankets the smell like home as R'nar pulled them up over her lap. "Thank you," she murmured.
"Of course. I'm just going to unpack a few of the things they sent home for you and him." R'nar told her as she loosened the wrap and pulled Eranar out.
Ranni nodded, her eyes fastened on her son's flawless, satin skin and dark hair. He was the most beautiful child ever, she was certain, even though she had heard other women say the same thing regarding their babies. She was convinced she was right, however.
"You look like you are in deep thought there," R'nar said as he folded and put away the receiving blankets.
"I was just thinking how perfect he is."
R'nar studied her, sitting propped in the bed with her curtain of silky black hair hanging around her shoulders, Eranar tucked smartly against her, nuzzling and clearly enjoying the scent of his mama. It stirred feelings within him that he had never felt before.
"Yes, perfect," he agreed.
Ranni looked up, meeting his eyes and feeling her cheeks heat a little at the look she saw in them.
"Well, everything is put away." He picked up the wooden bassinet and brought it over to her side of the bed where she could reach and lay Eranar in it when she wished.
Panic suddenly gripped her. "You're not leaving, are you?"
R'nar froze, dark brown eyes slightly wide. "I just thought you might... well... Do you want me to stay?" She was such a private person that R'nar had not wanted to assume she would want him there. Despite the tentative agreement they had come to in the infirmary, she had lied and manipulated him so many times in the past that he was hesitant to completely believe her now.
"Please." Her voice was thick and he could see tears rimming her eyes.
"Of course." He had never seen her cry, she just wasn't the crying type, but since she had come to in the infirmary, he had noted her increased emotions. Healer Meysa had said that it was common for new mothers to be a little more emotional, or perhaps to find themselves crying for no particular reason.
Circling the bed, R'nar unlaced his boots, set them aside and then crawled in beside of Ranni. "I hope this trend of soundless sleeping continues," he said, stroking his fingers over his son's head.
Ranni nodded, lips pursed as she blinked rapidly to try and keep the tears from falling. The sudden need to cry was overwhelming and frustrating. She had always been independent, and now this sudden need to have R'nar physically where she was at all times was disturbing.
"It's okay, Ranni," R'nar murmured softly to her as if he knew her thoughts.
She nodded as a few silent tears slipped down her cheeks. Twisting suddenly, Ranni placed Eranar down in his bassinet and then turned and buried her face in the front of R'nar's shirt.
"It's okay," he said again, rubbing her back as her shoulders shook lightly.
"No, it's not," she cried, twisting her fingers into his tunic.
"Why not?"
"It was all my fault," she sobbed.
"What was your fault?"
"I was so tired of being pregnant and so uncomfortable. I didn't want the baby anymore, I didn't want to be pregnant anymore. I actually s-s-said that. Told him to get out."
"Aw, sweetie," R'nar stroked his fingers through her hair as he rubbed her back. "I doubt you are the first pregnant woman to ever get tired of being pregnant and want to have the baby already. That doesn't mean you caused what happened."
Ranni wiped her eyes on his tunic. "You don't blame me?"
"Of course I don't," he said as he tilted her face up so he could see her eyes, which were framed in eyelashes still wet from tears. "You had no control over what happened."
She sighed. "I feel like a bad mother."
R'nar frowned a little. "Hey, none of that. You did everything you were supposed to do, whatever the healers said, while you were pregnant, and you've been a champ since he was born. You never complain when you wake up to feed him, or when I know you must be sore and tired."
She _was_ sore and tired, Ranni thought. Other women made breastfeeding look so natural and wonderful, but it had been nothing but painful. Whenever Eranar ate, Ranni had to grit her teeth, close her eyes, and try to think of something else until he was finished. She did not want to complain, however, because she felt that feeding him properly (the healers had been so adamant about nursing) was important.
"Come on, why don't you close your eyes for a bit and nap." The bronzerider wrapped his arms around her, pulling her down with him into the pillows.
His arms were safe and comforting, and the sound of his strong heartbeat beneath her ear as she rested her head against his chest reassuring. Even as her eyes were drooping closed she murmured, "Who's going to watch Eranar?"
"I'll keep an eye on him," R'nar grinned, peeking open one eye to see that the baby was still sound asleep in the bassinet. When he glanced back down at Ranni it was to see that she was already fast asleep.
Last updated on the May 31st 2020