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Writers: Avery, Heather
Date Posted: 3rd March 2024
Series: The Disaster at Dragonsfall

Characters: Kadira, Ki'ben, L'val
Description: L'val and Ki'ben take turns staying with Kadira while Saibra visits with Cyradis.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 9, day 25 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Naradis, Cyradis, R'nar
part of the 'Everything You Say to Me' series

Ki'ben

Ki'ben was fully submerged in one of the Weyr's communal bathing
pools. Earlier he'd been enjoying the sight of some beautiful women
who'd decided to come in for a dunk as well, but now he was beneath
the water, scrubbing his hair.

}:Are you finished yet? We're needed by Chioneth.:{ Setoth broke into
the relative peace that Ki'ben was enjoying beneath the surface.

**For what?** he questioned, but sat up immediately, pushing his hair
back from his face and stepping out of the pool. Water sloshed onto
the stone around the bathing pool as he gathered a towel.

}:I'm not sure exactly. There's been an... incident? Chioneth says we
are to go to Ishath's weyr and stay there with his rider. He seems
upset. I'll try to find out more.:{

Hearing that the incident involved Kadira sent Ki'ben into double
time. Half wet, he threw his clothes on, shook his hair out, and
finger-combed it on his way to the temporary goldrider weyr near the
Hatching Cavern that had been assigned to Kadira during Weyrlinghood.

"Kadi?" he called, tentatively stepping into Ishath's weyrcouch.

"Oh, Wingleader L'val," Ki'ben said, inclining his head to the other
bronzerider. "Uhm, the Weyrwoman sent me here to stay with Kadira."

}:My rider would like to see you in her office.:{ Chioneth said
directly to L'val.

**I'll be right there,** L'val told Chioneth.

L'val nodded at Ki'ben and stepped outside, indicating for Ki'ben to
speak with him for a moment. "There's been an incident with a
candidate harassing Kadira. It upset Ishath almost enough, but Kyverth
and then Chioneth was there."

He gave Ki'ben a moment to digest, then continued, "She may want to
talk to you about it, she may want to stay silent. It's important to
just have a friendly face here for her. If she shows any major signs
of distress, let us know via Setoth. I'll be keeping an ear out."

"Yes, sir," Ki'ben saluted the Wingleader before continuing into Kadira's weyr.

Kadira was curled up, pressed against her blue, who had shoved his way
into the temporary weyr, size be damned. Her face was buried into his
hide, and when she looked up at the person who called out, her face
was blotched with visible tears. "Ki'ben? They called you here?
Don't you have classes?"

L'val had told her that someone would come stay with her next, that
she wouldn't be alone all day. She'd assumed it...she didn't know what
she'd assumed. She'd just wanted to be left alone, actually. But
Ki'ben was a smart choice... a fellow weyrling, with a bronze dragon.
And a _friendly_ face, one she knew didn't hate her like others, which
mattered.

The bluerider's splotchy face stopped Ki'ben in his tracks. He'd never
seen her cry. Ki'ben dropped on a knee beside of her. "What is it?
What's happened? Chioneth sent us here to stay with you."

}:Someone was mean to my rider and made her sad and then I was scared
for her and then she was mad and I felt her going to a strange place,
and then I was angry and yelled because how dare they hurt her? And
then Kyverth's rider told me he would handle the problem and they will
be taken to Chioneth's rider.:{ Ishath said to Setoth.

"Sorry if I'm putting you out. I feel like I've been putting so many
people out today. People suddenly showing up and yelling at me, and
then there was a Wingleader and the Weyrwoman involved, and I'm sure
I'll get called back to the office soon, and... I swear the incident
wasn't my fault and I didn't want this." Kadira sniffled again.

Setoth rumbled with annoyance on Isharth's behalf.

"What kind of incident? With who?" he asked, fulling seating himself
with her on the floor.

"This girl wanted to know about me. Why I thought I Impressed blue. If
it had to do with..." She looked at Ishath, whose eyes were still
whirling yellow, and briefly closed the bond door as much as she
could. "Who I like. Who I do things with. You know. The stuff we
can't talk about."

The blue's eyes started to turn orange before she re-opened the door.
}:Please don't go away right now!:{ he said, tail lashing.

**I just had to tell Ki'ben something private. About why she alarmed
me. It is adult human talk. We're not supposed to talk about it with
you. I'm sorry,** she apologized.

"So then I started asking her why she was asking that because it's so
personal and I'm _so_ sharding tired of _everyone_ jumping back to
that as their speculation. You know how people keep doing it. Or they
call me a boy. Or all of that. And I wanted to know _why_."

She cleared her throat and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "And that
was reasonable, I guess. I was about to be more sympathetic. She
needed to know if someone like her would Impress. Then she said she
felt like she was always in the shadow of her parents, her mom was a
Weyrwoman, that she needed to do something special. That I should be
_glad_ everyone's eyes are on me because I'm the first, because
Ishath's hide would make me special on my own. That "whoever heard of
a greenrider making history"." She said that contemptuously, clearly
quoting.

"That's when I realized what was happening. She doesn't want to be
just a greenrider, she thinks greens are beneath her or something. So
she's interrogating me to figure out how to do it herself because she
wants to be special. And maybe she's too selfish and boring to be
special and greens don't like her because of that!" Her voice raised.

Ki'ben couldn't help the curling of his lip as Kadira described the
interaction. What kind of person asked things like that? Most
importantly, what was the obsession with being 'special'? He supposed he
understood _a_little_, since his mother was a Weyrwoman, but he'd
never felt as though the color of his dragon's hide made him more or
less special. He'd been afraid of _not_ Impressing, sure, but having
been born and raised in the Weyr, the color of his dragon wouldn't
have mattered one whit to his mother. **Maybe I'm just lucky...**

He had a hard time understanding the attitude that some people held
towards green dragons. Greens, who made up the bulk of the fighting
Wings with their numbers. Greens, the very ones that were often the
_best_ at fighting Thread with their agility and speed. Sometimes the
most important people were the most overlooked.

"Where was this girl from?" he asked.

"Dolphin Cove. I recognized the knots," she said. "Her brother brought
her and _he_ was fine. Apologetic. But Naradis was such a bitch."

**Naradis?!** Ki'ben blinked. "Oh wow, Cyradis' daughter. I knew her
for a little while when we lived there, her and her brother R'nar. It
wasn't him who brought her was it?"

"_Cyradis' daughter?!_" Kadira had been so mad about it that she
hadn't put together 'Weyrwoman's daughter' and "Dolphin Cove knots'.
"She should have _sharding known better_." Her fists clenched. "And
no, it was a brownrider."

Being a "Weyrleaders' kid" was sort of a little club and a part of
Ki'ben wanted to be able to defend Naradis but... "I honestly can't
believe she was that careless. She's been in Weyr harper classes her
whole life as a weyrbrat. She should have better etiquette. My
mother..." he shuddered thinking about it, "would have..._will_...
snatch me bald if she were to hear of me harrassing a newly Impressed Weyrling... Or well, anyone for that matter, but especially someone with a young dragon."

He reached out, putting a hand on her calf and squeezing supportively.
"I'm sorry."

At his touch, she leaned into him for a hug instead. Ishath didn't
even whine that she pulled away. "She should have _known_ it was
dangerous to push me like that. I hope the Weyrwoman is knocking sense
into her before she's sent home, and that her mother will too. We were
so angry and... What if..." She couldn't even think it.

Ki'ben wrapped his arms around her automatically. He knew exactly
where her 'what if' was heading. "I can't imagine how scary that must
have been, for you and Ishath both." It also made him angry. The
thought of how broken Kadira would have been if Ishath had
/betweened/....

"I don't _care_ that Ishath is blue, and I wouldn't have wanted to
Impress gold. I expected a green and I wanted her and I wouldn't care
at all it makes me just another greenrider. I just want to be a normal
weyrling and now everyone is looking at me for something I couldn't
have done anything about." She swiped at her face again as the tears
were starting up. But they were falling quietly now, not deep rough
sobs.

“I know you didn’t ask to be special but you are, Kadira. You and
Ishath are. And honestly, there was no one better on the Sands for him
than you. The dragons always know, right? That means he already knew
that you have everything it takes to be his rider. People won’t always
look at you differently, the new will fade eventually or, who knows,
maybe there will be more blues choosing women.” He wiped one of her
silent tears. “I say, be the top of your Weyrling class and kick their
opinions down their throats.”

"I just feel like the color system is so unfair and an obsession
that's actually bad for us!" she suddenly outburst. "I understand what
matters about golds and bronzes. The clutching, the fighting leading.
I'm not saying they're not important and they don't do things other
colors can. There are reasons they're differentiated and play certain
roles. I just wish we weren't basing _human_ structure entirely around
it. All dragons are important to save Pern, but holders think greens
and blues are shameful, cut off their kids for the 'wrong' color,
instead of realizing how much they matter. People focus on just
getting that one special dragon hide color and for what? You'll all
still fly and bleed the same, and be loved the same."

She kept fidgeting, nails against her palm. "It's the pressure of
being first that's getting me. First means all eyes on me, waiting for
me to succeed - or fail. Means being treated like a freak until more
is proven. And what if I can't be top of my class? What if I do
something wrong, something that any greenrider could get away with,
and they'll seize on me for being bad at it because girls aren't meant
to be on blue, and treat it differently then if a greenrider made the
same error."

What Kadira described sounded exactly what goldriders went through,
Ki'ben thought. The special attention, the scrutiny, the expectations
of certain behavior, people always approving or disapproving or having
_something_ to say about everything that they did.

"I'm sorry," he murmured simply, squeezing her a little more in his
hug. He wished he knew what to say to her, that he had answers, but he
didn't know what to say about the way dragonriders had lived their
lives for hundreds of Turns. Ki'ben felt inadequately prepared to
comment on the political affairs of the Weyrs when he had only just
begun to pay attention since Impressing Setoth.

Her thoughts kept churning, and spilled out of her mouth again. "I
just don't understand her. She acted like I said a messed up thing to
her. For saying maybe she didn't Impress yet because she's too
selfish. But am I wrong? If you don't think being a greenrider is
okay, if you're convinced being a greenrider is _bad_, why would a
green ever pick you?"

"Well, if _I_ were a dragon, I wouldn't want someone who was obsessed
with the color of my hide, but... You never know what a dragon is
thinking when Impression is made. It sounds like Naradis has a lot of
inner turmoil going on, maybe that's why a dragon hasn't picked her,"
Ki'ben theorized.

"That makes sense. But just because you're upset in yourself or
insecure doesn't mean you can just...you know. Attack someone. I'm
going to be angry at her forever for this."

}:Your hands hurt,:{ Ishath said to her. She took a visible deep
breath and flattened her palms on her thighs in response. They did
hurt, now that she looked for it. The mix of distress and rage had
blocked her off from her own physical sensations.

"I'm so sorry about this. You having to be brought in here to keep an
eye on me. Being so fragile we got upset and had to get...everyone
involved. The Weyrwoman, the Wingleader, you..."

"You may be the first girl to ride a blue dragon that we know about,
but you're definitely not the first Weyrling whose dragonet has gotten
upset and needed some assistance, so don't be so hard on yourself."

That got her to smile at him a little bit. "Thank you for the perspective."

Ki'ben's mouth tugged into a little smile as well. "Any time."

Last updated on the March 5th 2024

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