Decidedly Unhelpful

Writers: Curious, Sia
Date Posted: 31st May 2024

Characters: E'kirim, K'aur
Description: Ekirim seeks his brother's advice on whether to be a candidate
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 7, day 16 of Turn 11
Notes: Mentioned: M'yvak, T'lonas (not by name)

Ekirim waited until he could see Remiath lounging outside K'aur's weyr before making the trek upwards. The Weyr was.... confusing, at best, with so many people and beasts stacked on top of each other, especially since he'd spent most of his life thus far in the farmlands of Amber Hills.

"Hey, buddy." He said as he got closer, holding his hand out for Remiath to sniff before he tentatively tried to pat his nose. He still didn't have a great sense of what the dragons liked, really, but Remiath at least seemed to tolerate him. "Is K'aur home?" It still seemed silly to ask the dragons like they were real people, but everyone seemed to talk to them as if they were having full conversations. He knew a boy in Amber Hills that did the same thing to his canine, though.

Remiath did not bless Ekirim with the honor of bespeaking him. He may have been his rider's clutchmate, but he had not yet proven himself worthy of such a gift. Instead, the brown whuffed in his face, gently tapped him on the head with his snout, and a moment later, K'aur came walking out of his weyr.

"What's up?" he asked, planting a hand on his hip. "You in trouble? Need me to beat the piss outta someone for you? Or, feck, I dunno tell you a bedtime story?" K'aur grinned as he spoke, mirth dancing in his eyes.

"Oh, a bedtime story would be nice. You haven't read 'Goodnight Moons' to me in a while." Ekirim joked. "Actually, I want to ask you about Remiath. How was Remiath as a hatchling? Was he hard to train?"

"Hard to... train?" K'aur blinked. "I mean, we had lessons, and those were hard as heck, yeah, but he was learning alongside me. You don't..." The brownrider paused, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "You don't think that the dragons are basically oversized canines, do you?"

"Not canines. Runnerbeasts, maybe. That can fly and breathe fire." Ekirim said. "And I've been thinking about how hard it'd be to get something so big to understand how dangerous that is, let alone do whatever you do during Threadfall."

K'aur stared at Ekirim like he was the dumbest individual to ever walk the face of Pern... which was honestly just about par for course with how he usually looked at him. After a few seconds of that, he snorted, rolled his eyes, and said, "Faranth, are _you_ ever in for a surprise if you impress." Turning around, he added, "Let's go inside. I don't need to be tempted to push you off the ledge if you say something too Ekirimish."

Ekirim matched his brother's look, fully aware that he could pick the brownrider up and shake all the loose marks out of his pockets sooner than K'aur could push him off the ledge.

"That's actually what I'm here about." Ekirim said as he stepped over the back of a chair to sit squarely on it, long legs tucked haphazardly underneath. He pulled out M'yvak's search token and held it up for K'aur to see.

"Oh," K'aur said, sitting down across from his brother. "Oh, shaffit. Do you think that you want to accept?"

It was Ekirim's turn to stare at K'aur like he'd said something 'Ekirimish'. "I don't know, that's why I'm _here_. Honestly, dying young and horribly out in threadfall isn't exactly the top of my list."

"Then don't stand," K'aur said with a shrug. "Fighting thread is a pretty darn unavoidable part of impressing. Unless you get gold, and I'm pretty certain _that's_ not happening." The brownrider leaned back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other. "I've already impressed. That's all the family needed, so if you don't want to stand, don't." A pause, a raise of an eyebrow. "Unless there's a reason you think you might _want_ to impress?"

"Look here, I'd make a _fantastic_ goldrider." Ekirim deadpanned, but flashed his brother a silly grin. He decided- for now- that it wasn't worth trying to tell him that he had been perfectly fine and happy at Amber Hills. "I don't know, everyone's telling me it's such a great honor to be Searched. Y'know the new Weyrlingmaster came to try and talk me into it a few days ago? He's all right, I guess, but real intense-like."

"Of course they're telling you it's an honor, standing and impressing is Weyr culture. A dragon could fart on you and they'd say it's an honor," K'aur said with a roll of his eyes. "This isn't about them. It's about _you_ and what _you_ want. Dragons are great and I always knew that I wanted to impress and fight thread and all that, but..." K'aur shrugged. "I dunno. I did it because I felt like it was my only chance to make something out of myself. I didn't even _consider_ other options. You... You're in a different position. You can think about it. And like, Impression is amazing, but there _are_ drawbacks."

"Yes, I'm getting that 'impression'." Ekirim raised his eyebrows and nodded at the very intended pun. "Y'know, every single person I've asked has talked about how they've always wanted to fight Thread and that it was hardly a consideration. All three of them. I figured it had to be a Weyr thing, but it got you too. But is that all it was for you? Ambition?"

"It was," K'aur said. Maybe with someone else, someone caught up in the honor of impression and the duty of fighting thread, he would have had a different answer. He didn't want a lecture, after all. But with his brother, at least, he could be honest. "I wanted to improve the family's station, move everyone to the Weyr, and get opportunities for myself. Moving to the Weyr seemed to be the best way to do that. I'd wanted bronze, but... I'm going to find a way to become Weyrleader anyway. Someday." He paused, pursing his lips. "That's another thing to consider. That's only even possible for me because I got a brown. If you get a blue or green, you're stuck at the bottom of the heap forever. _Maybe_ you can make Wingthird, if you're lucky. Any other rider will tell you that it doesn't matter, that impressing any dragon is an honor, but... Honestly? They're full of it. It _is_ an honor, and you'll love your dragon no matter what, but ambition isn't evil. You're allowed to want better for yourself than to take that gamble."

Why, K'aur could even name someone who likely would have made a different choice if he'd known he was destined for blue and was struggling with his decision now, but _that_ was none of Ekirim's business.

"Well, it seems like a lot of Weyr hierarchy is based on chance." Ekirim said slowly. Wheels were turning in his head, a rare occurrence. "If you Impress, what you Impress, if that dragon rises first or catches fastest." He did consider, briefly, that for all of K'aur's ambitions and struggle to follow through, that of course he would opt to try and take the gamble instead.

"I'd probably be looking at a green or blue anyway. There's more of them, and as stunning of a Wingleader I'd be, I don't exactly have that same drive as you."

"It is," K'aur slowly said. "And yeah, you probably would. So... You've got that to think of. Since you don't have the drive, are you _okay_ ending up on blue or green? Or do you want more options? Remember, impressing limits your opportunities in other ways, too."

"Well yeah, it's really all the same, no matter the colour." Ekirim said with a shrug. "It's still flying and breathing fire. At least blues and greens don't look so....beige. What other 'opportunities' do you mean?"

K'aur snorted. "Well, that's true. Blues and greens are certainly colorful." He paused, rapping his fingers against the arm of his chair. "You could take up a craft if you don't impress. You still could with a dragon, I guess, but threadfighting will need to be your first priority. Unless you go into dragonhealing, you'll never be a _master_."

It was Ekirim's turn to snort. Him in a craft was more fantastical than him actually Impressing a dragon. "Sure, I'd make an equally excellent harper." He said with a shake of his head. "Nah, if I didn't impress I'd just go back to the gardens. Or the Lower Caverns, whichever one would have me."

"You could be an artist," K'aur shot back. "People will line up from all around Pern to see your elegant blobs on a canvas." It was his turn to snort, then, shaking his head. "See, those are also options, though," he said. "If you choose to be a gardener or lower caverns worker now, you can really throw yourself into it. If you waste time as a candidate without knowing if you actually want to impress, you could fall behind." He paused, then, pursing his lips thoughtfully. "I guess you could try both simultaneously, though... Half-ass two things instead of whole-assing one."

"If I wanted to be 'the best' I would have tried being an apprentice somewhere already." Ekirim pointed out. "I'm happy to contribute and pull my own weight. Do I want to do that but also die in Threadfall?"

"If you have to ask, it sounds like you probably don't," K'aur said. He sighed then, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. "Let's try another angle. It sounds like you already know all the reasons you _don't_ want to stand. So why do you think you _might_? There have to be some, otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Well, yeah!" Ekirim matched his brother's body language without entirely meaning to, putting his own elbows on the table and resting his cheek in one hand. The other stoll held M'yvak's search token. "I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the garden shed. I didn't go daydreaming about it when you and Miri got Searched, and I didn't think about it until I got a token myself. But everyone here talks like it's such a big honor to have a dragon and that Threadfall is almost like a second thought. I just want to make sure I'm not missing something important, y'know?"

"Okaaaay," K'aur said. "So do you... have any reasons other than fear of missing out? Or do you want me to tell you what it's like to impress? Because, like, I could. But if you've asked anyone else about it, you're probably just gonna hear the same shiffit put into new words. I can make them real exciting words though. Titillating or... Faranth, no, not _titillating_. Just. Forget I said that.

"No one else has used _that_ word to describe it." Ekirim said. "You and Remiath have an extra special bond?"

"You know what? I hope you stand and impress a dragon that's exactly like you."

"Right back at you, buddy." Ekirim said. "Except wait...did it already happen? How alike _are_ you two?"

"Not really?" K'aur said. "Remiath is a grumpy, boring, lame buzzkill-" He paused, eyes going distant. Re-focusing with a sigh, he added, "But he also insists that he's more //realistic// than me. He doesn't try to crush my goals, though. He encourages me."

"That sounds like you." Ekirim said, even though he was skeptical of what K'aur claimed Remiath could _say_. "But that's good. I'd hope he encourages you. He's stuck with you, after all." Ekirim stretched as he stood. "I should head out, though. Before we end up just sniping at each other for the rest of the night. This has been about as helpful as expected."

"Wow, shards to you too," K'aur flatly said. With a sigh, he added, "Try to find someone who didn't know what to expect or wasn't sure. I'm someone who _knew_ - someone who didn't might be more helpful. And good luck. Like, for real." Crossing his arms and turning his head, he added, "Now get out of my sight."

Last updated on the June 1st 2024

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Decidedly Unhelpful