Shadows in Sunlight

Writers: Aaron, Heather
Date Posted: 19th February 2025

Characters: Ç'pier, I'mrei
Description: Ç'pier tells I'mrei about the shadows in his past while they enjoy some sun on the beach.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 4, day 9 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: R'lor, N'vanik, Saedyna

Ç'pier

I'mrei

"Fancy seeing you here," I'mrei said as he tossed his towel down
beside C'pier on the beach. He hadn't seen the brownrider in a few
days, since they'd met in the infirmary. If he was honest with
himself, he'd kind of been _hoping_ to run into him again.

**You haven't told them yet,** Ç'pier accused Yuliuth.

}:I forgot...:{

"Hey, you." Despite his concern over how I'mrei would react to
learning the truth about him, he could not help but smile at seeing
him.

"Perfect day for some suntanning," I'mrei said, pulling off his shirt
before sitting down.

"I can't argue with that. But are you sure you want to be seen with
the likes of me?" Ç'pier asked. Better to get it out of the way than
to lead the poor guy on any further.

"The likes of you?" The greenrider questioned, laughing. "Do you have
cooties or something?"

"Well, I'm gonna be real with you, I'm a criminal," said Ç'pier. "I
got mixed up with the wrong sorts when I was out on the road, and I
went to them for help, to help someone I loved escape an abusive
situation. And... as part of my payment, they had me hurt someone else
who was only trying to get away from her own abusive situation.

"I could have said no, I could have tried to go to R'lor or N'vanik
for help, but I didn't. I didn't trust that they could help me, so I
turned into the very thing I ran away from as a kid. She almost died.
And I lied to R'lor and N'vanik and tried to use the attacks on
weyrfolk as cover for what I did.

"All of my extra earnings go to her to pay restitution now." Not
entirely true anymore. She was letting him keep some of it now. But
that was not important now. "And the only reason I'm not working in
the mines or worse is Yuliuth chose me on the Sands at my very last
chance to Stand.

"Plenty of people here in the Weyr know what I did-- what I am, and
you should know, too, before you decide you want them to see me with
you."

I'mrei listened to the sordid details. A part of him was amazed.
Amazed at the things that C'pier had done, but also of what he had
endured. That he could still seem so _normal_ after all of that. The
teasing brownrider he had met delivering laundry didn't align with the
picture C'pier was painting.

"Well, it sounds like you've changed? And that you're paying back the
wrongs you've done." The corner of the greenrider's mouth tilted up in
a tiny smile. "I don't really care what other people think. If they
have a problem with me suntanning with you then they can jump off the
Star Stones."

Ç'pier's eyes widened-- though it was more of an impressed expression
than merely a surprised one.

Though one thing I'mrei had said stuck with him more than the rest. It
sounds like you've changed.

Had he?

He supposed he could not imagine doing any of those things over again,
whether he was doing them a second time or if he had a chance to
change what he had done.

But he had lost the relationship with the person he had been trying to
save. Would he do something like that if he had someone else to
protect?

What if N'vanik himself came and asked him to do things like these
again-- to protect the Weyr, to safeguard his place there?

He was not sure. But that itself was a change. Before, he had no doubt
that he _would_ do those things to protect Blue.

And more had changed for him than just losing his someone to protect.
Now he had people he would ask for help, even if he thought they would
tell him to piss off.

"Thanks," he said, at last. It was the closest thing he had
experienced so far to forgiveness. Maybe apart from the small measure
of understanding he now had with Saedyna, if that counted.

"No problem," I'mrei said in that easy, breezy, beautiful way of his.
"Now that _that's_ out of the way, I thought you were going to tell me
you were straight by the way. Which would have been _much_ worse.
Could you get this oil on my back?" He handed C'pier the bottle and
turned around.

A hearty laugh escaped Ç'pier.

"It would be my pleasure." He poured out enough to coat his hands and
then set about massaging it into I'mrei's skin. Shells, how long had
it been since he had touched another person beyond a quick handshake
or back pat? Too long. His were still plenty strong, but he was just
gentle enough.

"You know, that's a lot to have to carry around all time," I'mrei
said, even as he inwardly purred over the nice feel of C'pier's hands.

"I suppose it's not quite as heavy as swinging a pickaxe and lugging
ore all day," said Ç'pier. "All things considered, I got off pretty
light."

"Sometimes internal weights are worse than external," I'mrei said
softly, for the first time, seeming a bit more mature than his
seventeen Turns. There was still a soft smile in his eyes though as he
swiveled around and then stretched out fully on his towel to get as
much sun as possible.

Ç'pier smiled as he regarded I'mrei for a moment and then laid back
down himself. He was so used to everyone's knee-jerk response when he
opened up about what he did being about him feeling sorry for himself.
This was the first time in a long time he felt like the person he
spoke to was just... listening to what he actually said.

No, that was not it. It was that it seemed like he actually _cared_
what he said. Ç'pier understood he did not deserve that kind of
empathy, but that only made it all the more remarkable that I'mrei
would offer it. And there was something about the way he said it that
kept Ç'pier from immediately concluding it was only his youth
speaking.

Ç'pier was not yet close to paying his debt. But it suddenly seemed a
lot more _possible_ that someday he could.

"You're not just saying that because I'm good with my hands, are you?"

I'mre laughed, his cheeks reddening - from the heat or the sun? Who
could tell? "You do have _excellent_ hands, I won't lie."

"I'm glad you noticed. I practiced." Ç'pier winked.

"I need to practice. Not with my hands," he added quickly. "I have
great hands. Healer hands. But, well, my foot always ends up in my
mouth around an attractive male." I'mrei peeked open one eye. "So
you've been warned."

"Well, it hasn't made it in there yet," said Ç'pier. "I guess that
means I'm not all that attractive..."

"Well, it was sauteed in a pan and stuffed into my mouth the last time
we talked so let's call it even," I'mrei smirked a little, draping one
arm over his eyes to shade them from the sun. "It just means I'm
getting more comfortable. You're easy to talk to."

"So are you." Ç'pier smiled back, though I'mrei's eyes were hidden.
"And easy on the eyes, too."

I'mrei flashed him a toothy smile. "You're just trying to see how
badly I'll put my foot in my mouth."

"I may or may not be interested in how flexible you are."

The greenrider uncovered his eyes. "I'd be glad to show you sometime."

"You're not... afraid of being alone with me?" Ç'pier had not expected
asking that question to be so hard, but he had had to swallow a lump
to get through it.

I'mrei pushed up to his elbows so he could see C'pier through the
glare of the sun. "Should I be?"

"I'm not going to hurt you." Ç'pier could promise that, but he could
not tell anyone that they should believe him when he did. No one
should believe anyone who had to beg to be trusted. If they could not
let his yes be yes and his no be no in the short term, then there was
nothing he could do about it but go on doing his best to show that he
was trustworthy in the long term.

"Then, no, I'm not afraid of being alone with you." And for I'mre, it
was as simple as that.

Ç'pier smiled. A real smile, without any mischief or spice. At least,
at first. He could hardly keep the spicy mischief out forever, looking
at I'mrei.

"I'm glad."

Last updated on the February 21st 2025

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Shadows in Sunlight