Dark Impulses

Writers: Devin, Duskdog
Date Posted: 2nd October 2025

Characters: N'vanik, Nidre
Description: N'vanik talks to Nidre about what to do with Ingrizon.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 3, day 13 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: Cyradis, Corofel, R'ayl, Alyena, Gilbek

N'vanik

Nidre

N'vanik waited until Nidre was seated in the chair across from him. Usually he would have gone to Cyradis with something like this, but the Weyrwoman had clearly had enough of all the violence and hate-filled holders, and he didn't want to burden her with this. "I want to leave Ingrizon out for Thread." He met Nidre's eyes. "I want you to stop me."

Nidre tucked a leg under her, crossed her arms, and leaned back in her chair as she eyed him, considering. She hadn't expected this. She'd expected that N'vanik had made up his mind (well, he knew what he wanted to do, at least, so that was halfway there) and wouldn't be dissuaded from it... or even _want_ to be dissuaded. "I'm curious... what is it that makes you _want_ to reconsider this time?"
"Because I know it's a bad move, politically." N'vanik rubbed his temple. "Everyone knows what I did to Shuvan, and lots of folks assume I'm gonna to do the same to Ingrizon. And then what? Leaving Shuvan out for Thread didn't stop Ingrizon from comin' here and trying to kill a feckin' _kid_." He pushed back on the rage that tried to well up.

She nodded. "That's a good point -- a good thought. Though I don't think anything would have stopped Ingrizon from _eventually_ doing us more harm, so don't blame yourself for that, at least." She laid her head back, staring at the ceiling, while she gathered her thoughts. "Okay. Just to play Thread's advocate... I have three points and here's the first: you're right, people _are_ assuming you'll do the same to Ingrizon. The hearing was important, even though I know you probably felt like it was a waste of time. Corofel is in a bad position. He's both very young and very new to his position, and he's clearly inheriting some issues -- issues that just so happen to be affecting _us_, which means we're having to invade his sphere a little more often and more obviously than we normally would. Not without cause, mind you! But it's still something that's giving his holders a certain impression about his strength, suitability, and where his loyalties lie -- something that might not be as much of an issue if he were older and more established, but he's not and this is what we have to work with. The hearing was necessary in order to -- hopefully -- make it clear that Corofel isn't just in your pocket or bending to the Weyr's every whim. And why should we care about that, you may ask? Because if they think Corofel is our stooge, it's only going to breed more resentment, more people who think there's nobody looking out for their best interests and instead catering solely to us, and inevitably there will be more Shuvans and Ingrizons to deal with down the line. Bear with me, I'm getting back around to the main point, I promise."

She paused to let him digest. "The issue, I think, is that the hearing alone is probably not enough to keep that belief at bay. Because it really was just a sham, wasn't it? I'm not suggesting that Corofel didn't truly listen or consider the evidence, but I think it's fair to say that all of us went in there knowing exactly what we were doing and why. We _knew_ the whole point was to make Ingrizon holdless _specifically_ so the Weyr would be free to snatch him up and do what we want with him. And holdfolk aren't stupid. Many of them are probably perfectly aware that Ingrizon was all but doomed the minute he walked in there. _Hopefully_ they saw enough of the evidence that they're convinced he deserves it, at least... but it still probably reeks of performance. Maybe sparing Ingrizon from death would at least lessen the impact of that. No one with any sense could argue that he doesn't deserve punishment at all, but killing him under these circumstances probably feels a lot more extreme and final... and worth being upset over."
N'vanik nodded. It was similar to the things he'd told himself. "And yet part of me insists I should end him, so he can never hurt my people again. Cyradis said I could do what I wanted to him and . . . it would be so sharding easy." Stake Ingrizon out for Thread, or maybe strangle the man with his bare hands to take out some of his frustration with this whole situation.
"Also consider," she added, "R'ayl is still here. Alyena and Evalya are still here. Delorth and his clutchmates are still here. Gilbek is still here. Is it ethical to execute a man who hasn't actually killed anyone?" She grimaced. "Not for lack of trying, obviously. And I'm sure he's seen to the disposal of other people along the way, even if we may never know who they are. But like I said and because you asked: Thread's advocate."
N'vanik pressed his hands to his eyes and leaned his elbows against the desk as anger clawed at him. "I know. I know I shouldn't kill him. I know it's not _right_ . . . " And yet that didn't stop the urge to make Ingrizon _hurt_ for all the terrible things he'd done.
"Do you want to know what I really think? Personally?"
He lifted his head and said warily, "Yeah."

"I think he should die," she said grimly, crossing her arms over her chest. "The fact that he failed at doing what he tried to do just makes him incompetent, not innocent. He's a threat. So long as he's out there and can have contact with other people, he'll have people who support him, and he'll have the ability to rally them, or just the ability to get dirty work done if he wants to do it. He's been caught, but he'll have an even bigger grudge now, because men like him don't ever pause and reflect and reconsider their actions -- they just blame everyone else for shaming them by calling them out on what they've done." She sighs. "But... killing him has all the complications we've talked about. And it might make him a martyr. Have we considered exile? Pick out a little island just for him. Don't tell anyone where it is. Keep an eye on him via regular check-ins and firelizard spies, just to make sure nobody's landing there."
N'vanik took a moment to absorb all that. The fact that she agreed with him wasn't making it any easier to resist his dark impulses. Finally he said, "I was thinking the mines."

Nidre nodded slowly, considering that. "Can we keep a close enough eye on him?"
"Yeah." The Weyrleader hesitated a moment before he added, "I know people." If Ingrizon tried to cause problems even while locked up, an accident could be arranged.

"If you're sure... then do it. Drop in on him unannounced every so often, too -- just so he doesn't start to think we're looking away just because he's rotting away." Her lip quirked. "And if we get word that he's stepped so much as an inch out of line... or anyone outside the mines is communicating with him... you have an excuse to come down hard."
N'vanik swallowed against the image of doing something violent and permanent to the man. "Yeah." He wanted to show that the Weyr could be restrained, which meant that _he_ had to be restrained. For now. "Sharding politics." He sighed.

She sighed, too, folding her hands behind her head and leaning back, looking at the ceiling. "Sharding politics," she echoed. "It's the sort of thing that makes you wonder what you'd be doing right now if you'd Impressed differently, hmm? Like we could be lounging on the beach with a blue and a green right now." She laughed a little. "For what it's worth, N'vanik, you're doing fine. It's hard to go against your instincts. The very fact that you're trying to see another way, another perspective, means you're already better at politics than a lot of people would be. Or at least that's what a very wise goldrider once told me."
The corner of his mouth turned up. "I'm trying." Then his expression darkened a little. "And I got to indulge my darkest urges with Shuvan. It didn't fix anything. It didn't bring G’fand and Olisrath back. But it . . . it felt a little _too_ good."

"I imagine it felt like _doing_ something, after a lot of indignities and not being able to do _anything_," she said. "Don't beat yourself up over it."
"It felt like finally making someone _hurt_ after they'd caused so much pain." N'vanik took a deep breath. There was too much anger inside him and he didn't want to feed it. "Thanks for talking through this with me."

"Of course." Nidre inclined her head. "I hope it helped. And at least we have a solution for _this_ particular thorn."
It was the middle of the day, but . . . "I need a drink. How bout you?" N'vanik asked.

"Oh, _absolutely_," she replied, sounding relieved. "I didn't know how much I needed it until you said it."
N'vanik poured them both a hearty drink from the small liquor cabinet. He handed her a glass and lifted his own. "To this being the end of it."

"To the end," she said solemnly, raising hers, too.

Last updated on the October 12th 2025

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Dark Impulses