Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows

Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold

Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold

Elsewhere on Pern
NPC Weyr
River Bluff Weyr
Seacraft Hall

Story Listing
Series Listing

Weyrling Training

Writers: Yvonne
Date Posted: 13th July 2006

Characters: J'nus
Description: J'nus visits Talryne in the Infirmary post-Fall
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 13, day 2 of Turn 3
Notes: Follows the 'Only a Moment' storyline

J'nus hesitated at the Infirmary door, his riding helmet in his hands, still covered in crack dust and stinking of the Fall. The dragon's keening echoed in his head, echoed by Kopth's lingering grief. Talryne lay in that Infirmary, and she was his responsibility.
He stepped inside.

Clinical, cold, the air was full of the scent of herbs and blood and the moans of the 'Scored and the stattico instructions from overworked healers. He interrupted an apprentice to ask her to point out where the greenrider was, and even though he was told she was drugged and insensible, he went to see her anyway, pausing at the doorway before invading her privacy.

Talryne had never been a small woman, but she looked small now.
Swathed in white bandages, her eyes closed and her dark hair spread out on the pillow around her head like a dark halo, J'nus thought she looked like she was made of ceramic. Cracked, and easy to shatter. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Talryne?"

She lay there like she was dead, and it took him a moment to realize that she was drugged. A small mercy that - for a moment he bitterly wished that the healers hadn't patched her up at all. It would have been kinder just to let her die... The bronzerider swallowed thickly, then turned away. There were others to visit, the appropriate murmurs and consolations to make to those with minor 'Scorings. He approached the task with dread, thinking that he'd crack and his words would turn to ash and crackdust the moment they left his lips. Or worse, that they'd be exposed as the lies that they were.

When he told someone that it would all be all right, he was lying.

J'nus didn't' even notice when he was finished. He slowly became aware of the rock steps beneath his blackened boots, and of the way his helmet thudded dully every time it hit against the wall. There was a bottle in his hand - where had that come from? He looked at it with disgust, then with resignation. Turns ago, he'd promised himself that he wouldn't drink to drown out the Weyr anymore. That he'd face his responsibilities head on, and he couldn't do that while lying in a pathetic heap in his weyr.

}:J'nus?:{ He turned onto his own corridor. His footsteps echoed as he dragged himself down the hall, stopping in front of the door to his weyr.
**What am I doing?**

}:J'nus?:{ Kopth said again. }:You will be all right. I'm here, and we are both safe.:{
**But Ysanth is not.**

}:No,:{ Kopth said sadly. Ysanth was gone, and she was his responsibility. He'd failed. He'd failed in leading a Wing; no wonder it had taken him so many turns to earn a Wingleader's knots in the first place. No wonder men half his age were catapulted, untried into the position he now held. **I was probably promoted because there was no one else, and they needed a body to fill the spot until U'kaiah was suitably shamed.**

}:That's not true. We are a good pairing, you and I. We lead well.
We've lead in many Falls now, and dragons sometimes die.:{
**But not _my_ dragons!** J'nus swung the door open and stomped into his weyr. He scrabbled around for a corkscrew but couldn't find one, and started attacking the cork with the end of a knife. **Ysanth was _my_ responsibility and she's dead, Kopth! And Talryne would be better off dead.**

Kopth was quiet. Then, }:But there are so many others who are unScored. You saved all their lives because you are a good leader, and a good man. The Wing follows you because they trust you.:{
**Well, they shouldn't.** J'nus kicked a pile of books out of the way and collapsed onto a chair. Every time he closed his eyes he could see Talryne's pale face, her snowy bandages, and the lost expression that pinched her eyes and tugged at her mouth. He lifted the bottle to his lips. It burned going down and made his eyes water.

}:What are you doing?:{ He took another swallow, then stared at the bottle in his hands with something akin to loathing. **Having a drink.**

}:Why? You promised not to, anymore. Not when you are upset!:{
**I'm not upset,** J'nus calmly told his dragon. **And I deserve it.**

Last updated on the July 16th 2006