Very, Very Alone

Writers: Devin, Bree
Date Posted: 28th July 2006
Series: Saving Each Other

Characters: Talryne, N'vanik
Description: Talryne escapes from her keepers long enough to visit N'vanik.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 13, day 9 of Turn 3

Talryne

N'vanik

Talryne had thought to wrap her blanket around her shoulders before creeping from the infirmary, but she'd been half way to N'vanik's weyr before she realized that her feet were bare and therefore freezing.

Not that the shoes would have helped. Talryne was cold all the time now. At first she'd hurt so badly that she hadn't felt much of anything, but the numbness had left her quickly--too quickly--and now she just felt cold and very, very alone.

The irony, of course, was that this was the first time she'd actually been alone. It had taken days for everyone to get tired of watching her every moment. And once her tiny space in the infirmary had gone quiet, she'd realized that she was sick of people. She didn't want _people_, she wanted a person. One person who would hold her and keep her safe and make her _warm_...

So she didn't bother knocking on N'vanik's door, pushing it open and slipping inside before some well meaning journeyman could chase her down and drag her back to her cold, barren, cot. "N'vanik?"

The bronzerider was putting a few things away in his bedroom and the voice startled him a bit. It wasn't Traelyn's voice, and he wondered who the shell thought they could just walk into his weyr. "Haven't you heard of knocking?"
N'vanik asked as he came out of the room. Then he saw the shivering girl wrapped in a blanket, her haunted eyes looking at him. "Talryne. What are you doing here?"

She stumbled back a step or two before bumping into the door that she'd already forgotten was closed. "I'm sorry. I'll go." "No, no! Don't." N'vanik held out a hand and took a few steps toward her. He didn't want Talryne wandering the halls alone.

Talryne hesitated, her hand still hovering by the door as if she was ready to pull it open and bolt. But she didn't have the energy to bolt. She wasn't sure she had the energy to keep standing for too much longer. Clearing her throat, she tried to explain her presence. "I--I couldn't sleep alone anymore."

N'vanik took another step toward her. "How did you get out of the infirmary?" Last he knew, someone was watching her at all times. "I left after they checked on me for the evening," she replied, dropping her hand back down to her side. Still, she couldn't quite bring herself to move, terrified that N'vanik would reject her and then she'd be alone again--alone with nothing but the silence in her head. "But . . . why did you come here?" he asked quietly. Of all the people she could have gone to, why _him_?

Even with the quilt on her shoulders, she shivered again. "Because I'm cold," she replied, just as quietly. "I'm so sharding cold, N'vanik."

**Just take her back to the infirmary,** a voice in his head insisted. That was where she was supposed to be, where people who knew what they were doing could look after her. But looking at her, standing there shivering, he couldn't do that. **I did this to her.** And no matter what people told him, that was still how he felt. "Come on," he said. "We can sit on the couch." She followed silently behind him, sitting down so close to him on the couch that she was almost in his lap. Still she curled her body into his, pulling the blanket behind her until she was pressed against his side with her thick quilt covering everything but her face. "Thank you," she whispered as the shivering slowly faded away. N'vanik put an arm around her, awkwardly. Those two little words 'thank you' felt painful to hear coming from her. "Aren't you . . . mad at me?"

She was too tired to lift her head, even if she wanted to look at him.
Instead she left her cheek pressed against his shoulder, letting her eyes drift shut. "Why would I be mad?"

He swallowed. "Because if Loseth and I hadn't moved . . ." Talryne shuddered against him. "Then you'd be gone." Her threadscore tugged painfully as she shifted against him, but she ignored it and wrapped an arm around his chest. She couldn't seem to get close enough to him--not close enough to drown out the emptiness in her head.

"Better me than you," he wispered, unconciously tightening his arm around her. She ignored him, shifting her face until her cheek rested over his heart.
She listened to it beat for a few moments, her eyes still closed. "It's so quiet in my head now. Everything else sounds too loud."

Shards, how was he supposed to respond to that? He let silence stretch out between them, not knowing what to say.

Her voice broke the silence finally, sounding small and unsure. "Can I stay here tonight?" There was no way he could say no. "Yeah. Yeah, of course you can." He shifted slightly. "Would you like to go lay down?"

"If you want to." Talryne didn't care where they went or what they did, as long as she could just stay warm...

Last updated on the July 28th 2006

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Very, Very Alone