An Attempted Apology

Writers: Bree, Dana
Date Posted: 4th August 2006

Characters: Ar'lis, Abrei
Description: After receiving a slightly unusual written apology, Ar'lis decides to visit Abrei and does his best to cheer her up.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 13, day 8 of Turn 3

Abrei

Ar'lis, I am terrible at apologies. As a rule, I don't really like to make them, as I invariably end up saying something else that I'll need to apologize for later. As you can imagine, I would end up spending most of my time apologizing for my apologies, which is redundant and a little silly.

As I said, I don't apologize a lot. But I said some very cruel things to you that you didn't deserve, and I've always gotten along with you well enough.
My only excuse is that I was in a lot of pain and wanted someone else to hurt, too. As excuses go, it's not a very good one. Maybe it's not really an excuse. Maybe it's just a reason.

The reason I am writing this apology should be obvious. You tried to get me to talk about my problems. I do not like to talk about my problems, as is now undeniably evident. I'm afraid that you'll try to be nice and understanding again, and I'll end up yelling at you and being just as mean.
Then we'd be back at the place where I need to apologize again, and I'm really too busy to spend all of my time writing apologies.

I'm stuck in my bed now with my foot up and my leg bandaged, however, so at least I had enough time to write this. Maybe when I'm recovered from my surgery, we can have a nice, polite chat where I don't invite you to take advantage of me or scream about you being a terrible person.

So. I guess what I'm trying not to say is the only thing left I have to say.

I'm sorry.

Abrei
~*~

With a sigh, Ar'lis paused just outside the room and ran his fingers through his hair--again. It was a nervous habit, actually one of a few, that he'd developed a long time ago. Though why should a man--a bronzerider!--like _him_ be nervous about facing a woman laid up in her bed?

Because that woman was Abrei. And because he'd ignored her subtle advice and was coming to her before she was "recovered from her surgery". And, _because_ she was laid up, unable to move and probably drugged, he had no idea what kind of mood she'd be in.

**Damn it, Ar'lis. Show some balls. Really, what have _you_ got to be nervous about? Just go around the corner and...** "So, how're you feeling?" he asked with his best, lazy bronzerider grin, stepping around to look at her.

Abrei scrubbed hastily at the tears on her cheeks, struggling to summon up a properly annoyed expression. "What do you want?" she demanded in a shaky voice.

The grin faded as he took in her state. Oh, shards... Now, he'd been prepared to deal with a crabby, grouchy, snarly Abrei. But a _crying_ one?
Damn. "Is that any way to treat a friend, Abrei?" he asked gently, coming closer.

"I don't need any more friends," she replied sharply, fighting back tears.
"The ones I supposedly have are making me miserable enough, thank you."

"Who are they?" he growled. "I'll pound their asses to the ground."

The words shocked her into blinking, momentarily forgetting the tirade she had been building up to. "What?"

"Who are they? I'll pound their asses to the ground," he repeated, his brown eyes flashing. "Since you can't get up and do it, I will."

It shouldn't have made her feel better, but it did. "There's too many of them to bother with," she replied with a weary smile. "But it's nice of you to offer."

He shrugged a shoulder and grabbed a chair, swinging it around so he could straddle it. Propping his chin in his hands, he looked down at her. "Just so long as they don't show their faces in here while _I'm_ here," he rumbled. "Otherwise there'll be no stopping it."

Her smile trembled a little. "They won't. But that's not why I'm upset anyway." At least, not mostly. Sharding U'kaiah. "My cousin lost her dragon.
It has been a long few days."

His expression softened. "Shards, Abrei... I'm sorry."

"I think it's been a bad month." She let out a choked sounding laugh, that might have been closer to a sob. "Or maybe just a bad turn." After all, hadn't it been just a turn ago that R'han had walked into her life and turned _everything_ upside down?

He reached out then, gently brushing his fingers against hers--and hoped she wouldn't perceive it as anything but comforting. "I know in your letter you said you didn't want to rant and rave and scream--or something to that affect. But I'm here, so you can rant and rave and scream all you like.
I'll listen."

She shook her head, but she didn't pull her hand away from his. "I'm tired of yelling, Ar'lis. I'm just... I'm sharding _tired_. Of everything."

Shards...to see her like _this_... Ar'lis didn't like it. Not one bit. "I wish I could tell you it's going get better, darling... I guess all we can do is just take it one step at a time, huh? Day by day."

Abrei pulled her hand away, using it to wipe at her cheeks again. This time when she looked at Ar'lis, her forced smile was back in place. "Things will get better. I just need to keep moving forward."

He nodded, reclaiming his hand. "Did you need me to get anything for you while I'm here?"

"Maybe just some water?" Her stomach had been feeling more upset than usual lately, and she'd given up on breakfast entirely. "I think I have some in the other room."

"Sure. I'll grab it for you. What about anything to read? Some kind of...light novel or something?" If she actually _had_ any of those in her weyr...

Abrei pointed to a rather dry looking book that was sitting next to her on the bed. "I've got some reading to catch up on."

Obediently Ar'lis picked it up and brought it to her--along with her water.
So much for reading her way out of this world. Couldn't she just once indulge in a frivolous _something_ to escape? That's what Gaiya did. A slight frown crossed his face. But she and Abrei were two very different women. "Need anything else?"

"No, thank you." Abrei met his eyes for just a moment, trying to let him see how much she appreciated his kindness. It was probably best not to try to use words to thank him... her record with expressing herself wasn't exactly impressive.

The significance of her look wasn't lost on him. "I'll be back to check on you. Later. So don't think you're rid of me so easily." He flashed her a small grin before pushing the chair to its rightful place.

Last updated on the August 4th 2006

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An Attempted Apology