More of a Brother

Writers: Bree, Eimi
Date Posted: 14th September 2006

Characters: Royani, Shadux
Description: Royani has a heart to heart with Shadux about her life and his father's demotion.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 13, day 14 of Turn 3
Notes: Mentioned: Cyrek, Mariss

"And what are you doing hiding out here all by yourself, hmmm?" Shadux
asked as he sat down on the bench next to Royani, lazily throwing an arm
across the back behind her. Royani managed a sad smile. "Just thinking."
"It looks pretty serious," he said, making a teasing long face back at
her, knowing he probably looked like an idiot but knowing she could
probably use a reason to smile.

She wrinkled her nose at him, leaning over to bump him with her
shoulder. "Don't make fun of me, just because my problems are so silly."

"Sorry," he said, making his face appropriately somber. "I was just
trying to get you to smile."

Her lips curved up with just a hint of a smile. "It's nice that you want
to try."

"What's making you look so down then, hmmm?" he asked, giving her
shoulder an affectionate shake.

"It's silly," she warned him, still not meeting his eyes. "It's really
silly, considering all the terrible things that have happened lately."

"Nothing is silly if its bothering you this much," he assured her.

Royani peeked up at him from beneath lowered lashes, ready to judge his
reaction to her words. "My father doesn't really have time to spend with
me anymore."

"Oh," Shadux said, looking away. He was probably not the best person to
be giving her advice on family matters where her father was concerned.
Though they had once been close, since he appointed Cyrek to replace his
father, he had spoken to Benaroy only when necessary, and in as few
words as possible. The Lord Holder's betrayal had cut him deep and it
was hard to forgive the man. Still, it was hardly Royani's fault, and
just because he could no longer look the man he had once counted as a
second father in the eye without bitterness, that didn't mean he still
couldn't care for Royani as if she were his own little sister. But it
was hard to speak reassuringly of the man. "Well... you know... things
have been busy. I'm sure its not anything you did."

"I know," she replied quietly, looking back down at her hands. "I
just--I thought--" She bit her lip, not wanting to admit out loud how
naive she'd been. Not even to Shadux. "I thought he needed me," she
admitted in a small voice. "But everyone's just waiting for me to get
old enough to be worth more in marriage."

"Oh, now don't even think that," he said giving her shoulder a firm
squeeze. "Who knows your father's needs better then you, hmm? And not
everyone wants to see you married off to some far away - though I'm sure
young and dashing Lord Holder. That would mean you have to leave. We'd
miss you terribly."

"I don't think my family would," she replied sadly. Then she shook her
head and looked up at Shadux. "But how can I complain about something so
silly when so many people lost their homes?"

"Come on now, you're not complaining. Your talking. There is a
difference," he said firmly. "If you were complaining, I wouldn't have
to be asking you, right? You'd be screaming it to the Red Star. You're
allowed to talk about how you feel."

"What about you?" she challenged. "I may be young, but I'm not stupid,
Shadux. You're not happy with my father. And you have a far better
reason to be upset with him than I do, but _you're_ not complaining!"

**Well, not to _you_...** "We're not talking about me, Royani."

For once, Royani's temper overrode her manners. "Well, maybe we should
be! If your father was still the Steward, then--" Her mouth snapped shut
as she realized how uncharitable she would sound if she finished her
thought. If she was going to become a Lady Holder some day, she would
need to learn to hold her tongue around _everyone_, after all.

"Then what, Royani?" Shadux asked curiously.

"I don't like Mariss," she said suddenly, her voice quiet by intense. "I
don't _like_ her, Shadux. She thinks she's more important than everyone
else. She treats me like I'm a fool or useless because I obey my
father's wishes. But she doesn't respect the customs of this Hold, and
anyone who could raise such a disrespectful daughter shouldn't be the
Steward!"

Shadux sighed. Ah yes, Mariss... "It's not her fault, Royani. Not
really. She just wasn't raised to be a proper young woman. She was
taught she could do man's work if she wanted, and that might be fine at
the Weyr, it just isn't here. She'll learn it soon enough. But you are
not a fool, and you are not useless. You are going to make a fine Lady
Holder some day. I believe that."

"I _could_ do a man's work if I wanted," Royani said sharply. "I'm not
stupid, or incapable. But a man can't do my work. A man can't have
children. Mariss may not like it, but it's her _duty_, just like it's
mine, and it's not right if her father lets her think that she's
special!"

"That's right," Shadux nodded. "I couldn't do what you could do. And
Mariss can't do what you can do either. She can't work in a society.
She can't make friends as easily as you can. She hasn't be taught that
being a Hold of one is a lonely way to live. But you, Royani," he said,
giving her nose a gentle tweak, "will always be loved and appreciated,
wherever you go."

"I'd be happy if I could be loved and appreciated here," she replied,
making a face at him. But her voice didn't sound nearly as sad as it had
before. "I wish your father was still Steward, Shadux. I like him better
than I like Cyrek. And I like you a _lot_ better than I like Mariss."

"Well, she hasn't taken my place, Royani." Not yet anyway... "I'll
always be here."

"I know you will," she replied, leaning against him for a brief moment.
Perhaps it wasn't the proper thing for a lady to do, but Shadux was more
of a brother to her than most of her actual siblings had ever been. "And
I'm glad you'll always be here." **I just wish I'd always be here,
too.**

Last updated on the September 27th 2006

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