It Doesn't Hurt To Pretend

Writers: Dana, Emma
Date Posted: 15th September 2006

Characters: Nialyn, Birigundi
Description: Biri and Nia both think about what things would be like if their situations in life were different
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 13, day 7 of Turn 3
Notes: Follows "DFW: I'm Glad It Was You"

Birigundi

"Is your back hurting at all?" Birigundi asked softly as he reached one
of his long arms around her to rub at it gently. It wouldn't be long
now. "Whoa!" he cried as he felt a little poke in his side. "That was a
strong one. That was the baby, right?" He was still amazed by the fact
that to the fact that he could feel the baby from the outside kicking and
punching as they stretched their developing muscles.

She grinned, her wince fading as she guided his other hand to her
rounded belly so he could feel it beneath his fingers. "Yes, that was
the baby. He--or she--keeps on getting stronger and stronger. Sometimes it feels
like their running a race in there," she chuckled, nestling her head
against his shoulder.

"Well, they better get started early if they ever have a hope of
catching up to their Dad," he grinned as he lightly stroked her skin
over the small bump that he was sure was a foot jammed up against the fleshy
confinement of their mother's womb. "I think he has long legs like me."

"Maybe they'll grow up to be runners." Better for them to keep their
feet on the ground than in the sky... "I can see you taking them out
for a jog around the lake outside in the warmer months. At night, they won't
be able to sleep because they'll be so excited that they're going to run
with their Papa in the morning. And when the morning comes, they'll be
climbing all over on me in the dark, telling me that I have to get up
because Papa's coming to get them and I need to dress them..."

"Or maybe I'll be in bed with you. They can climb over us both," he
grinned. Birigundi had every intention of spending the night with Nia
even after the baby was born. She was, after all... special in a way.
He had certainly gotten to know her after she became pregnant, and he
would miss seeing her.

The word "maybe" was what she'd been expecting, so why had it still
hurt? **Shard it, Nia... You can't keep on holding _on_ to something
that isn't sharding there.** "Mmmm.... Yeah." Her friends had told her to
look for other men--shards, even her own _mother_ saw more than one. "Take
advantage of what the Weyr has to offer, now that you kind of know,"
they'd laugh. But the thing was, she didn't _want_ to want another man.
She knew Biri, and despite everything, he felt...safe.

"Did you fall asleep?" he whispered softly when she grew quiet.

"No," she whispered back, curling tighter against him. He was the man
in her life, and she depended on him. He was the father of her child,
the first man she'd let in--the first man who knew _her_, Nialyn, not the
shy, blonde girl from the Hold...and she depended on him. Maybe it was
because of both those things why she needed him so much. At night, in
the dark, it was easy to think things through like this. But truly _accepting_
them...it was harder. "Not yet."

"Well, you just grew quiet is all," he said as he reached around to rub
her back again. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Just thinking, is all." She didn't want to tell him--it would
just bring up the same argument they seemed to always come back to. And
she wasn't up for that tonight. "That feels nice, Biri... Can you rub
a little lower? It's the small of my back that gets the most achy."

"Sure," he nodded, closing his eyes and resting his cheek against the
top of her head. "Its comfortable. Lying like this, I mean."

She grinned. "Well it should be. My bed's bigger than yours in the
barracks, no doubt."

Birigundi almost told her that he had fit two people quite comfortably
on his barrack bed before, but he thought better of it. "I like your
bed better. And I certainly enjoy the company."

Tilting her head up, she looked at him, a half-smile touching her lips.

He turned his head to look at her. Birigundi couldn't help but think
that this was what it might be like to have a true family of his own. A
beautiful woman smiling up at him, a baby on the way, a room for just
the two of them instead of one full of adolescent boys. Shards,
wouldn't that be nice. But really he was too young to be tied down. And then if
he Impressed, well, he wouldn't really have time for a family then... It
was a nice little dream, just not for him. Still, he decided as he bent
down to kiss her smiling lips, it wouldn't hurt to pretend every once in
a while.

Last updated on the September 27th 2006

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It Doesn't Hurt To Pretend