Nothing but Regrets

Writers: Bree, Eimi
Date Posted: 29th November 2006

Characters: Nistaja, J'mar
Description: Nistaja attempts to apologize to J'mar, but he isn't interested in hearing any explainations.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 13, day 30 of Turn 3

J'mar didn't look up as the potter walked in the room. He just stared at the riding straps in his hand, pretending to look them over for wear and tear even though he had made them only the sevenday before.

Nistaja sighed as she dropped onto his couch. "You tried to hurt me, and I tried to hurt you. For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"You know, at the moment, that really isn't worth a whole lot." He continued to inspect the leather in front of him.

"I'm not asking who you took back to your weyr," she replied quietly. "And I'm not offering. Besides, I went to theirs."

Nistaja sighed again. "Is it because I did it at all? Or because it was him?"

"It's because you chose him over me." He almost ripped the seams as he gave the strap a quick tug to test its strength. "I came to talk and apologize, work things out. But obviously you had found a much more appealing way to work it out. Fine. Have him. See if I care."

"I _didn't_ choose him!" Nistaja replied, slipping from the couch to kneel at his feet. She slid her hands over his where they were clenched tightly around the leather. "You let him rile you up until you stormed out, and didn't notice I'd asked him to leave."

"Yeah, but he _didn't_ leave, did he. Don't think I didn't notice. I wasn't sharding born last Turn!" He shifted away from her in his chair, his face darkened by a scowl. **And _V'lorn_ of all people!**

"No, he didn't." Nistaja kept her hands clenched around his, even if he wouldn't look at her. "You left. I was still drunk. I don't make good choices when I'm drunk, as you already know."

"Yes, that much is obvious. And yet no matter how drunk you get you have no trouble telling _me_ no. All I have to do is just _suggest_ the idea of you moving in with me and you'd rather just fall in any man's lap, wouldn't you."

"There's a difference," she replied, shifting again so that she could see his face. "I would have come back here and done just about anything you asked me to, J'mar. Drunk or sober. But there is one thing I'm not ready to do, and that's live here. I wish you'd understand that."

"Oh, I understand," the bluerider said with an icy cold tone to his voice. "I understand that the woman I love just doesn't feel the same way. I understand there's something about me that makes her not want to be with me every day and every night. I understand that I'm just lacking something in your eyes. Who knows, maybe you found whatever it was in V'lorn. Now wouldn't that just make the new Turn."

Nistaja let her hands slip off of his, falling into her lap as she knelt desolately before him. "I love you. I wish you'd been with me Turn's End. I don't know what else to say." J'mar snorted as he got to his feet and brushed pasted her on his way to his dragon's weyr. "You could have said I was wrong."

"About what?" she turned her body, following him with her eyes. "About _V'lorn_? V'lorn is not a man you find what you need, with. He's a man you make a mistake with and regret it for the rest of the turn."

"No Nistaja," J'mar said pausing at the entrance to look at her. "I mean you could have said that I was wrong in thinking I was not enough for you. I have to try these out. You can find you're own weyr from here. If you get lost, V'lorn's is on the way." Feeling tired and heartsore, Nistaja slowly rose to her feet and took herself to the door. She'd wondered when she'd accepted V'lorn's invitation if she would end up regretting it. It looked like that question had been answered.

Last updated on the December 1st 2006

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Nothing but Regrets