What-Ifs

Writers: Eimi, Paula
Date Posted: 30th November 2006

Characters: Shadux, Zelanka
Description: Shadux and Zelanka ponder the what-ifs in life
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 13, day 29 of Turn 3

"But I've invested marks in those runners, love," Petriv explained.

"You mean you've bet on them? You boys and your games," Zelanka asked and rolled her eyes. "Go off then, have fun with your buddies. But be back in time to dance with me. Or you're eating saddle leather next month,"
she threathed good-naturedly.

"I will, darling," her husband promised and after chaste kiss on her cheek, disappeared towards the racing tracks.

Zelanka watched his back and sighed deeply. What a marriage they had!
All show and facades. His endearments were habit, meant nothing. She swallowed back the familiar bitterness. That's what you got when you married a man who liked other men more than women.

"I hope he bet on Lord Benaroy's runner," Shadux grinned, turning around in his seat at the table by her elbow. "Would you really make your husband eat _saddle_ leather?"

"Perhaps not," Zelanka confessed, "But the stringiest bits of herdbeast anyway," she added.

"You are a cruel woman," he chuckled. "I take back all the times I wished you were younger and single."

Zelanka laughed. "And I tried so hard to marry Pelanka to you," she grinned.

"Yes, well, we both saw how _that_ worked out," Shadux shrugged. "I'm sorry, I just can't be tied down."

"Yes, but don't you ever wonder what if, what would happen if you had chosen other way?" she asked. In her mind she wondered if Shadux was like her husband.

"I found its best not to wonder 'what if' about other men's wives," he said, but he considered it a moment. "I would not have made her a good husband, Zelanka. My work always came first."

"Perhaps, perhaps not. We'll never know," Zelanka shrugged. "For instance, before I married Petriv, there was this young fosterling from Onyx Hills that courted me. If I had married him, I would now be lady Zelanka of Onyx Hills. But he was skirtchaser back then, tried get under every pretty girl's skirts, and from what I have heard, he is not changed. So, I would had ended up being unhappy, useless lady with an unfaithful husband. Now, I'm useful headwoman of large hold."

"The _happy_ headwoman of a large hold?"

"Mostly," Zelanka shrugged.

"I suppose no one is happy _all_ the time." He wondered if there wasn't anything bothering her, but she had never been one to open up easily.

"You're correct in that," Zelanka said.

"Well, it sounds like you're fairing a lot better than being the miserable Lady of Onyx Hills."

"Yes, I just can't leave this place," Zelanka smiled and looked around her, answering greetings from few passer-bys. She knew and loved these people. They were her extended family. She reminded herself to remember what she had and not to ponder the what-ifs.

"Who would want to," Shadux asked, having just as deep a love and tie to the Hold. "Everything we could ever want is right here."

"Yes," Zelanka agreed.

"And things are only going to get better. Just think. Next turn will be one like we have never known. Two Halls, a Hold full of people...
It like everything Amber Hills had ever dreamed of."

"And you and I will be twice as busy," Zelanka pointed out. Not that it mattered.

"It's about time we had something to do with ourselves." Something other than just sit around and hope for the future that finally might be here.

"I'll toast to that," Zelanka said and lifter her glass.

"Well, then, lets drink and be merry," Shadux smiled, clinking his glass to hers. "And you'll save me a dance later, won't you?"

"Add your name to the list, hon," Zelanka laughed.

"How far down am I? Surely not the bottom..." he asked with an innocent smile.

"Hhmm, There's Petriv, and Lord Holder...you would be third," Zelanka said teasingly.

"Both excellent men to follow," Shadux said with a saucy wink. "Don't get distracted and forget me, now."

"Don't you worry, I never forget," Zelanka promised.

Last updated on the December 1st 2006

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What-Ifs