Too Late: You Have to Tell Them...

Writers: Bree, Nici
Date Posted: 16th September 2005

Characters: Vivvi, Jeralir
Description: Vivvi comes to talk to Jeralir in the aftermath of Calanna's accident.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 8, day 3 of Turn 3

For the second time in the past turn Vivvi found herself standing outside of Jeralir's door, knowing that on the other side sat a man who had recently lost his wife. She'd seen very real grief in the wake of Jassalar's death, an emotion that had softened her feelings towards the Lord Holder's youngest son. It had softened them enough that she found herself coming to see him a second time, hoping she could offer some little comfort or assistance.

She was honest enough to admit to herself that she was hoping to find that Jeralir _needed_ some comfort. It was a challenge to herself to silence the voice of doubt inside her--the one that whispered that Jeralir might not miss his cousin very much. The one that still couldn't trust Jerandra's youngest son.

Vivvi hated having such suspicions, especially after she'd watched Jeralir's very real grief over the past months. Determination overcame hesitation, and she knocked on his door. She _would_ prove to herself that there was nothing to be worried about. "Jeralir? It's Vivvi."

"Come in..." The voice sounded resigned rather than grieved this time.

She opened the door and slipped inside, looking Jeralir over briefly. "I'm so sorry, Jeralir. I can only imagine how you must be feeling."

"Can you really?" Jeralir dropped into a chair. "Can anyone?" He still wasn't sure how he felt. He grieved for Calanna as a cousin, maybe a fun bedpartner--but as a wife?! He still grieved for his wife and it wasn't _her_. It left him unsure as how to act save confused, which at least was a genuine emotion at this juncture.

Vivvi settled into a second chair, watching Jeralir cautiously. "I'm not sure. How _are_ you feeling?"

"Numb..." Jeralir shrugged. "Different than when I lost Jasslara and I'm not sure if I should feel guilty about it or not." His father's guard Captain certainly made him feel that way!

"You don't have anything to feel guilty about, Jeralir." She did her best to sound as if she truly believed it--his honesty made it easier.

"I know..." He looked at his hands again. "I almost had her, really...and then she was gone."

Vivvi leaned forward slightly. "Jeralir... what happened?"

"We were having a disagreement and she stomped off. I followed her..." He frowned, the whole mess replaying in his mind. "And I didn't even notice where were were...I was too busy trying to calm her down _and_ get my point across. I reached out to grab her and she pulled away. I saw her losing her balance and I _tried_ to stop her...but I wasn't fast enough..."

"I'm sorry, Jeralir." It was all too easy to imagine, and Vivvi felt the slightest stab of guilt for finding it all too easy to suspect Jeralir of having something to do with his wife's death. Even after all this time, it was so easy to look at him but remember the things his mother had done to her. Especially now that she knew Jerandra was still alive.

"Vivvi, you have to tell them I tried to stop her, I really did. I know...you never liked me...but I'd never hurt Calanna..."

"Of course you wouldn't," she replied automatically, fighting a brief internal battle between logic and feelings. She had no reason to doubt him... except for the fact that he was right--she had never liked him.

"Ah, but I know what you're thinking..." He shook his head.
"I saw it in that guards eyes....what if he's like his mother, just a little bit..."

Guilt stabbed at her again, and Vivvi reached out to lay her hand on top of his. "It's a guards job to be suspicious, Jeralir. But there are those who know you and love you, and they don't think any such thing." There was no point in bringing up why _she_ had suspicions... both of them knew what she'd suffered at his mother's hands, and there was no point in talking about it.

Pride made him straighten up, stop feeling sorry for himself. "People can think what they like. I know what happened and I know I tried my best to stop her from falling..."

Vivvi was relieved to see the pride return to him, mostly because she didn't have to feel like she'd been kicking someone already too bruised anymore.
"Well, I believe you," she said briskly, pulling back her hand. "And I'll do what I can to help you and your family. If there's anything you need, you'll let me know, I'm sure."

He felt much better relying on the boundaries of Blood and servant--Vivvi knew him too well in some respects. "You can start with sending a drudge up with more wine. I'll not deal with furtive looks as I go through the Hold and don't wish to leave my chambers."

"Wine," she replied with a nod, her lips curling into a slight smile. "And food. I'm sure you meant to ask for food as well. I'll take care of both."

"Wine is always more important than _food_, Headwoman..."

"Of course," she replied, heading for the door. It was nice to have the comfort of their normal relationship restored. Maybe she didn't dislike him as much as she had, but Vivvi doubted that she and Jeralir would ever become the best of friends.

Last updated on the September 16th 2005

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Too Late: You Have to Tell Them...