Growing Up

Writers: Estelle
Date Posted: 18th September 2005

Characters: Enriline, Enrizial
Description: Enriline's grandson, Calrian, reminds her of when Enrizial was a child
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 8, day 5 of Turn 3

Lindria was away from the Hold, visiting her friend Lady Badia, and Enriline had seized the opportunity to leave her duties for a while and spend time minding her grandson. Calrian had grown a great deal since his birth and was now a healthy little boy of four months who loved nothing better than to be at the centre of attention. In this his family were only too happy to oblige.

Calrian laughed and tried to grasp Enriline's fingers as she tickled him under his chin. When he caught one and tugged at it, she pretended not to be able to free herself while sneakily reaching round to tickle his feet with her other hand. No-one would have recognised the stern and dignified Lady of the Hold were they to see her now!

Sometimes, though, when she looked at the round baby face, the dark hair that was just beginning to curl and the large, deep brown eyes, she could not help but think how strongly he resembled another baby she had once held in her arms and played with until he tired himself out with giggling...and she sighed with regret for what that baby had become.

*** 23 Turns ago ***

Enrizial frowned in concentration, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he worked on his drawing. He had been working on it since morning and still was not quite finished. The fact that his subject - a kitten belonging to his elder sister Eniari - refused to sit still for more than half a minute at a time made his task all the more difficult, but he had persevered and was now putting the finishing touches to the picture.

Once he was satisfied that he'd got the patches of black and white fur just right, he carefully printed three words underneath the drawing and scrambled to his feet, wriggling his shoulders to loosen them after being still for so long.

"Mama! Look what I've made!"

Enriline looked up from her sewing and reached out for the slate that her son handed her. She smiled indulgently at the childish sketch. If it hadn't been for the caption underneath - KITTY BY ENRIZIAL - she wasn't sure she would have worked out what it was supposed to be. "Enrizial, it's lovely! It looks just like her."

The boy, delighted, jumped up onto the couch beside her and leaned against her side. "Really?"

"Of course. And your handwriting is getting much better," Enriline added, secretly proud of her son. There were plenty of children in the Hold who wouldn't be able to write their own names at Enrizial's age, but Lord Ziadriel's ban on allowing his son to play with the children of lower-born hold residents left the child with little to do save learn and make up his own games. Lady Enriline knew that he was right - Enrizial needed to learn his station in life and could not be permitted to pick up bad habits - but she would have liked to see him as happy as the sons and daughters of drudges and farmhands who played outdoors while Enrizial was kept inside.

The door of her sitting-room swung abruptly open, and Enrizial squirmed free of her arms with a joyful cry. "Papa!" He tugged the slate from his mother's hands and hurried over to present it to Lord Ziadriel, who stood in the doorway surveying the room with his usual impassive stare. "Look what I drew!"

Enriline lowered her eyes to her embroidery and tried to thread a needle.
She was practiced enough that she usually succeeded on the first attempt, but now her fingers were trembling and she felt her throat tighten in fear.
Her husband had been coming to her rooms more and more often since Enrizial's last birthday, and she wondered just how much longer she would be able to distract him from his purpose.

Ziadriel took the slate from his son's hand and glanced at it, his gaze passing over the picture with little interest before he realised what was written underneath. Frowning, he crouched down so as to be on a level with the boy and pointed to the letters. "Did you write this, Enrizial?"

"Yes! I wrote it all myself," Enrizial announced proudly. "Mama says my writing is getting better."

"Does she?" Ziadriel's cold black gaze fell on Enriline, who flinched and clutched the wicker edges of her sewing basket. Then he reached into his pocket for a handkerchief and casually wiped away the chalk outline of the kitten from the slate before handing it back to his son. "Get a piece of chalk and show me how you write your name."

Enrizial's mouth fell open and his eyes filled with tears as the work of a whole morning disappeared in an instant. "B-but Papa..."

"Do as I told you, Enrizial." Ziadriel snapped. He reached out and squeezed the boy's shoulder, painfully tight. "And I don't want to see you cry. It's unmanly."

When he was released, Enrizial hurried over to where his chalks lay abandoned, snatching up the longest as he blinked tears from his eyes. Under his father's gaze, he managed to write out in a shaky hand the letters of his name, and then, as directed, the name of his home.

ENRIZIAL OF EMARALD FALLS HOLD Lord Ziadriel studied the words once he was finished, his frown deepening.
Then, without warning, he raised his hand and struck the boy on the side of his head.

The blow was not hard - just enough to sting, nowhere near Ziadriel's full strength - and Enrizial was too surprised to cry out. He just stood there, his lip trembling, not understand what he had done to deserve this from his father. No-one had ever hit him like that before.

"The first thing he will learn," Ziadriel said softly, "is how to spell the name of his _birthright_ correctly. Have the drudges clean and air the Lord Heir's quarters, and send his clothes there. No toys or rubbish. I'll deal with him meanwhile."

Enriline watched helplessly as her husband led the stunned boy out of her rooms - and out of her life, for from that day onwards until he was a grown man, she would see him only at formal occasions, in the presence of his father.

***

"I tried to keep him safe...for as long as I could," she whispered. But sooner or later, Ziadriel would have had to find out that Enrizial was old enough to read and write and begin his training to be Lord of Emerald Falls.
She had managed to conceal it only for a while and had suffered for it.

An annoyed wail brought her back to the present day, where Calrian was wriggling in her arms, sensing that he'd lost her attention. Quickly she hushed him and stroked his hair, calming him. This little boy might look outwardly like her son, but he was far luckier. Though he too was born to be a Lord, he would never have to suffer so strict a regime under Lord Alalir or his father.

Over the Turns, she had managed to convince herself that Enrizial's treatment was necessary for the good of the Hold. But now she had seen how Amethyst Cliff prospered under Lord Alalir, who'd had no thought of being Lord Holder until his brother-in-law's untimely death, she knew what a waste of a childhood it had been.

"I'll keep you safe," she promised Calrian, who looked up at her as trustingly as her own baby son once had. "And this time, I'll keep that promise."

Last updated on the September 19th 2005

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