Liquid Courage

Writers: Devin, Bree
Date Posted: 25th February 2007

Characters: Lenala, K'mai
Description: Lenala escapes from her weyr and seeks K'mai's advice on her less than perfect relationship with M'galec.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 2, day 23 of Turn 4

Lenala

K'mai

Lenala had told herself that she was just visiting K'mai because she needed something to do for the evening. M'galec had sent his regrets through Vilarth for their dinner meeting, stating something had come up in the infirmary that only he could deal with. It was starting to happen again, just like it had before... late meetings, late emergencies, too tired to talk...

And the worst of it was that she was too afraid to say anything. Every time she tried to talk to M'galec, he twisted everything she said around until she felt terrible for even opening her mouth. When she was away from him, sometimes she could tell herself that she couldn't _possibly_ be as terrible as he sometimes let on... but he was so sharding _smart_. And she was... well, not. But if he wasn't coming home until late, _she_ was going to take K'mai up on his invitation for a chat and a hand of cards. Perfectly innocent, of course. She even made it clear when he opened the door after her knock. "If cards and wine aren't enough, you should send me on my way. I'm not in a very romantic mood, even for someone as charming as you."

He blinked at her in surprise for a moment before smiling. "Well, I'm disappointed romance is not on the menu, but I am glad that you're here." K'mai stepped aside so she could enter. "Cards and wine with a woman as lovely as you is pleasure enough."

Returning his smile with one that was a bit more genuine than her last, she slipped inside. "I even brought some wine. Some really nice wine, to make up for the fact that I'm going to keep my clothing on."

"How very thoughtful of you." He brushed a few things aside on the table to make room. "And I can bring out my nice deck, since this is a quiet evening and not a rowdy party." K'mai had several decks of cards, partly due to receiving them as gifts and partly because cards got spilled on or went missing and needed to be replaced.

"I'm honored." Lenala set the wine down on the table and slid into one of the chairs. "Now all you have to do is promise to lose to me to make me feel better."

"No sex _and_ I have to lose to you?" K'mai took his good deck out of a drawer. "Such sacrifices I have to make!"

"All right, maybe lose half of the time?" She smiled and opened the bottle. "You _are_ getting excellent wine out of it, you know."

"Hmmmm, true." He grinned and took the cards out of the box to shuffle them. "I should get out my good wine glasses, too."

Lenala tucked her hair behind her ears and watched him shuffle the cards. "I should hope so! I think I rate better than just your regular old glasses."

"Definitely!" He gave the cards one more shuffle and set them down on the table before walking over to his cabinet. The good glasses were in the back, hidden from view. He pulled out two and returned to the table. "So what's on your mind? Or should we keep exchanging pleasantries?"

Lenala winced and reached out for a glass. "I don't know. They're easier while I'm sober."

K'mai lifted the wine and poured her a glass. "Some things are easier when you're not."

She looked at the wine for a moment before lifting the glass to her lips and drinking half of it in one gulp with a total disregard for the quality of the vintage. "Maybe I need something stronger, then. Things aren't exactly easy."

"I have a few things," K'mai said carefully.

Lenala hesitated. "I'm not trying to get drunk as an excuse to sleep with you. If that was what I wanted, I'd do it sober. I just... I would be happier if I didn't have to feel everything quite so strongly tonight."

"I just wanted to make sure." He went back to his cabinet and pulled out a bottle. "I like to make people happy, in whatever way I can. Or at least, make them feel better." He set the alcohol in front of her.

She reached out to pull the bottle to her. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Am I--" She swallowed and forced the words out. "Do you think being with M'galec has changed me?"

"You do seem to be more . . ." **Submissive.** "quiet. And reserved."

Lenala opened the bottle and took a cautious sip, making a face as the liquor burned down her throat. "Everyone seems to think he's been bad for me." She didn't wait for an answer before taking another sip, this time a bit more confidently. She wasn't sure how much of the conversation she could handle sober.

"And what do you think?" K'mai poured himself a glass of wine.

She cradled the bottle between her hands and stared at it. "I think I'm scared of him," she admitted quietly. She'd refused to tell Ar'lis the same thing because the bronzerider had seemed too angry already. K'mai, on the other hand, didn't seem likely to go storming out of the room to punch M'galec in the nose. Probably.

His brow furrowed with concern. "Why are you scared of him?" "He can be... intimidating." She took another bracing sip of the alcohol, wishing it would work faster. "And he thinks I'm stupid."

K'mai placed a hand on her arm. "You're not stupid, Lenala. And if that's the way he makes you feel . . . that isn't healthy." "I know." Her hands shook as she put the bottle down. "I _know_. But he's so much smarter than I am. Whenever I'm around him, he talks and talks until everything's turned around and sometimes I'm not sure which one of us has the problem."

"My guess would be him, if he has to use so much energy to confuse you." Rumors were one thing, but after hearing it from Lenala herself, K'mai _knew_ M'galec wasn't good for her.

Lenala folded her arms on the table and dropped her head into them with a groan. "I don't know what to do. He's not going to want to leave."

He reached out to rub her back. "It isn't up to him. If you want him to go, then he should go."

Her laughter was almost hysterical. "That's easy for _you_ to say! The only reason he left last time was because Vilarth was about to bring the Weyrleaders down on top of us."

K'mai's worry grew. "Lenala, that sounds really serious. Maybe we should get the Weyrleaders to help."

She groaned and lifted up her head to meet his eyes. "No, I'm probably just exaggerating. It's not like he'd ever hurt me, K'mai." At least, not on purpose. She'd had bruises on her arms for days after the time he'd held her down... but then, she always had bruised easily. It had been a mistake. "And sometimes he can be wonderful. Sometimes he takes care of me." "To make up for the times that he's not so good to you? There are more ways to get hurt than just physically."

The alcohol was finally having its desired affect, making her feel delightfully fuzzy. "I don't know. I don't know what I want. I just want someone to decide for me."

"Ask Vilarth, then. Sometimes our dragons know better than we do." He reached out to Sebeth, dozing on the ledge, and sent him love.

Lenala snorted rather inelegantly. "Vilarth _hates_ M'galec."

K'mai was surprised. "And you're still with him? Don't you listen to your dragon's feelings?"

She winced. "She said he's good when he makes me happy. But this last sevenday or two... she thinks he doesn't make me happy enough anymore. And that's why I started thinking about all of this."

"It's good that you're thinking." He took a sip of wine. "Honestly, I think you should end the relationship."

The thought of telling M'galec to leave brought the bottle up to her lips again for another bracing sip. She'd never be able to do it. But if she didn't, Vilarth was going to do it for her... and Tsaera would be furious if she let Vilarth get upset enough to cause trouble in the Weyr. "I don't know how."

"You just say 'M'galec, you're a jerk. Get out.'" The bluerider smiled to show he was joking.

A giggle escaped Lenala, and she leaned into K'mai's shoulder as the giggle turned to laughter with a hysterical edge. "Can I stay here tonight, K'mai? I don't want to see him tonight."

"Sure. You can take the bed, if you want. I don't mind sleeping on the couch." He'd done it before, and it was comfortable enough. She waved a hand to dismiss that offer. "I snore when I'm drunk. Sometimes I even drool. I think you'll be able to resist taking advantage of me. And it's not fair to make you sleep on the couch."

He arched a brow. "If you snore, maybe I would sleep better on the couch."

"Oh, fine." She made a face at him and reached out for the bottle again. She raised it in the air in silent toast. "To finding courage."

K'mai lifted his glass. "To finding courage," he echoed.

Last updated on the February 27th 2007

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