Just Sleeping

Writers: Eimi, Paula
Date Posted: 29th August 2007

Characters: Birigundi, Rigella, Telemon
Description: The inevitable happens when Rigella's and Birigundi's baby pass on.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 5, day 20 of Turn 4

Birigundi

Telemon pulled a sheet over the tiny face. The baby's deformed face
looked surprisingly serene in his death. It had been an easy death,
his heart had just stopped beating in his sleep. Telemon felt sad, but
same time he was surprised that the poor baby had hung on this long.
He had expected this to happen earlier. "I'm truly sorry," he said,
glancing both parents. Rigella was weeping, silent crying from the depth's
of her heart.

Birigundi was stunned. How could this be? This wasn't happening...
"But... He was all right this morning... He even ate..."

"It's probably his heart that failed," Telemon said with silent voice.

"This is a bad nightmare, someone please wake me up," Rigella moaned.

Birigundi unconsciously responded to the pain in her voice and wrapped
an arm heavily around her. But he could feel no pain. Not yet. He
still just couldn't comprehend that the lifeless form under the sheet
was once his child - his son. Little Rigmor, the boy that was supposed
to be healthy and strong. Lyndi's little brother who she would grow up
playing and laughing and fighting with. They were supposed to go to
Harper classes together, share secrets, go on long walks with their
papa... This was not the way it was supposed to turn out.

"It's all my fault," Rigella sobbed. "I've killed my baby before he
was even born," she continued.

"No, you didn't, don't say like that," Telemon insisted. Although the
failed abortion attempt might had caused the baby's problems, it also
may be that it had nothing to do with it. There was no way to know.

"These things just happen sometimes," Birigundi repeated numbly. "It's
no one's fault." It was as much his fault. He should have risked
sending Rigmor /between/. He should have sent him to the Healer Hall
right away. He should have taken the risk. Maybe if he had... "It's
not your fault, Rigella," he whispered. **It's mine...**

"I'm such a failure. I can't do anything right. I can't abort a
pregnancy and I can't give birth to a healthy baby," Rigella said
numbly. She was not listening them.

Telemon gather the little bundle to his arms, to take him away.

"Wait," Birigundi said, jumping up and following the healer. "Not yet.
Give him to me."

"All right," Telemon said and handed him the bundle.

He carefully peeled back the sheet and looked down into the tiny,
deformed face. It was hideous, and yet beautiful. The babe looked as
if he were only sleeping, and yet Birigundi could already feel how stiff
the little lifeless body had become. It was unnatural, but nothing
about this whole ordeal had felt real. Still, he wanted to burn that
tiny face into his brain. Rigmor had been his son, even if only for a
little while. Someday he might tell Lyndi about her little brother
But she was too young now, and he wondered if it wouldn't always hurt
too much to say the words out loud. **I had a son once...**

Rigella peeked over his shoulder. Telemon was keeping a watchful eye
on her. She had seemed bit better lately, but this just might sent her
back to the depression.

"Give him to me, he must be fed," Rigella said and started to fumble
with her tunic, to get a breast out. Telemon could see from her eyes
how sanity was fleeing, hiding from the painful reality behind the
veil of madness.

"Ah, Rigella, don't disturb him. He's...sleeping, can't you see,"
Telemon said hesitantly. He had no idea how to deal with this, he was
not a mindhealer. "Maybe you should sleep a little too. I can give you
a something to help to get to sleep."

Her words finally registered as Birigundi turned to look at her over her
shoulder, still fumbling with her tunic. **No no no... This is all
wrong,** he thought shaking his head helplessly. **This is all wrong!
This can't be happening!** His son lifeless in his arms, his mother's
mind cracking into little shards before his eyes. **I only wanted to
help...**

Telemon switched his attention to the father. Maybe he should offer
him something nerve-soothing too. Sometimes sleep was the best cure.

"Yes, he's just... sleeping." The words were bitter in Birigundi's
mouth. He could lie to her, but as much as he wanted to, he couldn't
believe it. "Rigmor just needs to sleep. You can see him later..." As
they pour dirt on top of his cold little body...

Last updated on the September 3rd 2007

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Just Sleeping