Just Be There
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Eimi, Rochelle
Date Posted: 24th December 2007
Characters: Eleada, B'ram
Description: Eleada choses not to ask where B'ram has been.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 7, day 13 of Turn 4
}:She's awake,:{ Girifith confirmed sleepily.
**Ok...** B'ram thought silently as he stood outside the greenrider's door, basket of breakfast foods in hand. Shards, he should have sent word somehow that he wasn't going to show. She was probably angry at him. She probably hated him. For that matter, he hated himself. And yet he couldn't really regret choosing to spend the night with Trae. At least, not until the morning when she went back to her weyr and he was left wondering what Eleada thought of him now...
No helping it now. Reaching up he knocked on the large wooden door before cracking it open slightly. "Eleada? Are you here?"
Eleada closed her eyes for a moment at the sound of B'ram's voice ringing through her weyr, dispelling the final, lingering shadows of nightmares. It had been a long, rough night alone, made all the worse by the disappointment she felt when he hadn't showed. Sternly, she scolded herself, as she had a hundred times that nightmare riddled, sleepless night and early morning. This was a weyr. He wasn't hers to dictate, and she had no right to try. Whatever he had been doing last night, he still thought highly enough of her to come this morning. She shouldn't make an issue of it. Even if she wanted to.
Sighing, rubbing her tired face and shoving wet curls out of her eyes, she answered. "Yes."
B'ram followed her voice into her bedroom. "Hey," he said softly. "Did I wake you?"
That earned a faint chuckle, but she saw no reason to lie. "No. I was already awake. I didn't sleep very well."
"I'm sorry," he murmured, reaching out to wrap his arms around her. "Bad dreams?"
Faranth she wanted to curl up right there in his arms... She forced a wry snort, trying to keep it light, away from the wretched mess she'd been before diving into her bathing pool. "With three sons and a wing?
What else would keep me up?"
"I'm sorry," he whispered, turning his head to kiss her forehead softly.
And shards, he meant it. "I wish I could have done something." It was moments like this when B'ram truly hated himself for what he was doing.
She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, her forehead tingling where he'd kissed her. **what do I tell him?** She wondered tiredly, fighting the urge to ask where he had been the night before. She should tell him that he should have kept his promise to come, that it would have kept the nightmares away -but no. She had no right to tie herself to him like that, no right to guilt him. Instead she slid her arms around him the way he was holding her, burying her face in his neck. It was so nice to have him there, the warm real scent of him to comfort her...
}:Stupid, _stupid_ wherry ass...:{ B'ram berated himself, his arms tightening around her as he imagined her tossing and turning, alone and hurting while he was off screwing Trae... "I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling the guilt like a stone on his shoulders. "I'm just so sorry."
She pulled back a little, not resisting his embrace, but just enough that she could tip her head back to look him in the eyes. She wouldn't ask where he'd been, why he hadn't come when he'd promised. She wouldn't... "Why? Why are you sorry?" She asked wearily, wincing inwardly. That was as close as she dared to get to her real question...
"They're my dreams."
**I'm sorry for so many things...** "Do you want to tell me about them?"
She shook her head, and shivered. She didn't want to tell him. She wanted to forget the nightmares, and the reality they represented. She didn't want to be alone. "They're just... old nightmares. About things that happened turns ago." She said faintly. "I... get them a lot." But not when you're here, she amended silently.
"Well, there's still a little time left before drills. Do you want to try to sleep some more? I'll stay with you..." It was the least he could do after the way he had lied to her.
She hesitated, the offer tempting. Oh so tempting! But no. She needed the extra time to get ready for the drills, review her notes and make sure her gear was in order before she had to help inspect the wing for their surprise equipment check today. "No." She said with a sigh, but not releasing him. Not yet. She still had a little time... "I can't. Too much to do. But..." She looked up at him again, her eyes hopeful although her heart was guarded. He'd promised once before, and she'd spent the night tossing, waiting for him to come. "Maybe you could try to come by again tonight?" She suggested hesitantly.
He kissed her forehead lightly as his arms around her tightened. "I'll be here. I promise." Her stomach tightened as his words echoed in her ears and reminded her of those same words, spoken a few days before. Words that had led to her spending a nightmare-ridden night of waiting. What was she doing? She knew better than this. She was stronger than this, a dragonrider. She pushed away a little, loosening his grip on her, but not escaping his grip as she set her jaw and looked him in the eye. She wasn't going to tie him to her. She didn't have the right. Unless he did it first.
"No." She said firmly. "Don't promise. Not again. Just be there, B'ram.
If you respect me at all, just keep your word." She slipped from his arms, feeling her stomach writhing in its knot. She knew better than this, but she still wanted him. Wanted him to be there. Wanted him be hers, if only for a night at a time.
Last updated on the December 28th 2007