Being a Harper

Writers: AL, Cali
Date Posted: 17th January 2009

Characters: F'gol, Sheste
Description: Figol tells Sheste something she doesn't want to hear.
Location: Harper Hall
Date: month 13, day 20 of Turn 4

"Hey, there you are," Figol called when he saw Sheste walking up ahead of him. "Can we talk for a second?"

"Oh hi Figol." Sheste stopped as did the two girls with her. She glanced toward them, "I'll catch up to you, okay?"

The other girls grinned and nodded then quickly hurried away. Sheste turned her focus back to the other harper and smiled. "Hey."

Figol had done alot of thinking last night, most of the night in fact, and he'd realized something. He wanted to be a harper. Not a sometimes harper, with responsibilities and commitments and obligations, but a full time absorbed in the music harper. And Sheste was a distraction, a _major_ distraction. She had been since they'd first met, but he'd let himself believe that she wasn't any different than Jestyn or any of his other friends. Last night he'd realized that he'd been fooling himself. She was more than just a friend, and he could see himself wanting to become _much_ more than just a friend. Which was why he had to end things now, before being with her became more important than being a harper. "Can we talk someplace private?"

Private? That sounded serious. Why did he want to talk to her in private? Sheste nodded and glanced around. "Well...I share a room with some other girls but...maybe one of the classrooms? The ones on the East hall are empty this time of day, I believe." Maybe he just wanted to be alone with her. Sheste certainly wouldn't mind that! She had to admit, the kiss had been on her mind almost constantly since it had occurred and she wouldn't mind another chance to steal another.

He nodded and walked with her, going into the first empty room they passed before she had a chance to start talking. "I was doing alot of thinking last night... about us and the kiss..." He didn't know what to say, how to start.

"I've been thinking about it too." Sheste took Figol's hand and moved over to a couple of chairs, dragging him with her. She sat down and tugged him down beside her. "So...go on."

"You're a distraction for me, Sheste." Figol swallowed hard as he tried to think quickly of a way to not hurt her, he _really_ didn't want to hurt her. "You make me think about you, and walk with you, and hunt firelizards with you... And that's why we shouldn't spend time together anymore."

The smile that had been so prevalent since his appearance faded immediately. "W...what?"

"I mean, think about it. We're _harpers_." he decided to try the reasonable approach. "Best case scenario, we fall in love, but we also spend less and less time studying and practicing and we spend the next several turns as apprentices. When we finally do make journeymen, we get separated and sent to different parts of the continent. Worst case is we go through all that then realize we can't stand each other." Which was the more likely scenario of the two given that they couldn't spend more than a day not fighting.

Sheste's mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. Did he really believe what he was saying? Did he actually think that was the way it always went? Did he not look around and see all the crafters who had full, happy, successful lives with one another? Was he that dense?

No, it was more than that. He was explaining it one way, but Sheste knew the truth. Music was more important than people. Specifically, music was more important than her. Slowly, the girl slid off the chair and turned to make her way to the door.

"Oh come on." Figol took a step towards her but stopped himself from grabbing at her. It was what he wanted, her to distance herself from him, but at the same time he didn't want her to go. The thought of her leaving him made him try and backpedal, "We can still hang out, eat together and everything. Just... I just can't be distracted by you any more."

"No thank you." Sheste opened the door and paused, though she didn't look at him. "I don't think I really want to hang around someone who thinks that music is more important than people. More important than me." With that, she slipped out the door and let it slam behind her. Once out of the room, she turned and began to run, tears stinging her eyes and half blinding her. What a fool. What an absolute fool!

He stared at the closed door for what seemed like an eternity before letting his gaze fall unfocused to the floor. It hadn't gone how he'd wanted it to, how it had played out in his head. He hadn't thought that she'd be so hurt, it had only been a kiss... but maybe it had been more. He wasn't in the mood to fool himself, he knew it was more than just a kiss, it was about him abandoning her and her friendship in favor of his music. It sounded cold and callous when he thought of it like that, but wasn't that how it was supposed to be? They were _harpers_. Music was supposed to be _everything_ to them. Wasn't it?

Last updated on the January 20th 2009

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Being a Harper