Leave the Past Behind

Writers: Ainsley, AL
Date Posted: 22nd January 2009

Characters: Zathris, Nimroy
Description: Zathris stops to offer Nimroy a bit of support and understanding, and Nimroy promises to pay a visit to his little sister.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 1, day 7 of Turn 5
Notes: Mentor Approved

Zathris

Nimroy entered one of the common rooms in the Family wing, looking around expectantly. His son's wet-nurse was supposed to be meeting him with the child, but didn't appear to be here yet. Nimroy sank into one of the chairs with a heavy sigh to await the woman. Closing his eyes, he rubbed his forehead, his mind playing over the events of the past sevendays. Hearing
someone approach, Nimroy straightened and opened his eyes to see not Nandrie, but his brother-in-law. "Zathris," he greeted the other man with a nod of his head.

"Nimroy." Zathris returned the nod, then frowned. He didn't look well. Rather, he looked tired, perhaps even troubled. The young assistant steward stepped forward and asked softly, "Is everything all right?"

Nimroy offered his friend a half-hearted smile, "It's fine. I think I've just been too long in the Hold. I'm used to travel and trade agreements and I find stress relief in those activities. Since
Ailnim's birth..." Nimroy's voice tapered off, the ever present guilt rising up when he thought of his wife's death. By the First Egg! He should feel grief not guilt!

Zathris moved over to lower himself into an adjacent chair. "It's not your fault, Nimroy." Zathris knew exactly what the other man was feeling. Even now, after all that time, he still felt the occasional twinge of guilt coupled with his grief. He loved Benani, there was no denying that, but he had also loved his first wife.

Having known Zathris for so long and so well, allowed Nimroy to be more honest than he might ordinarily be. "It's not my fault she died," he whispered, "But the way I treated her while she lived, that was my fault." Though Nimroy had not been a harsh or demanding husband, neither had he been loving and attentive. The intense love that he now felt for his son allowed
him to see how he had slighted his wife.

"Perhaps. But you can't live in the past, Nimroy." Zathris leaned closer to his companion. "You have to move on, for your son's sake."

Sighing, Nimroy nodded his head, "I know. Usually, I can put it aside, but the Hold is closing in on me of late. Perhaps now that Ailnim is a bit older, I will speak to Father about making a short trip. Nandrie is well able to care for his needs in my absence. Besides," here he offered his brother-in-law a real smile, "I'm sure I can convince my younger sister to peek in on him while I'm away."

"You know she adores Ailnim." Zathris smiled at the thought of his wife. "We've been trying for one of our own. I think she's a bit...concerned."

"It was more than five turns before Ailaya conceived. Tell Benani to be patient, her time will come," Nimroy advised, then his brow furrowed. "Actually, considering that you're her husband perhaps you should let someone else tell her that. If memory serves correctly that particular comment didn't go over well with Ailaya."

"Maybe you could remind her?" Zathris suggested with a small smile. "She keeps thinking it's something wrong with her and nothing I say seems to help. Perhaps a bit of encouragement from her big brother will help."

"I'll stop in with Ailnim within the next few days and have a chat with her. Benani can practice up by mothering her nephew. Though, she'll like as not scold me for one thing or another having to do with him. You would think sometimes that she is eleven turns MY senior rather than the reverse."

"She just worries about the two of you, that's all." Zathris soothed though he couldn't stop his chuckle. "She can't help it, really. She worries about people in general."

"I know and she's all the more special for it! And how are you holding up with all my sister's tender loving care?"

"Wonderfully, of course." They had been married for almost a turn, but it had seemed longer. It wasn't in the sense that he regretted it, just in the sense that Benani fit so well to him. Zathris couldn't imagining continuing life without her. She had helped mend his broken heart. "I adore her, and for some strange reason she adores me right back."

"I really can't imagine why," Nimroy teased quite pleased that his sister found someone to love and care for her so completely. "You aren't the least bit handsome and word has it that you are a worthless layabout!" Of course the opposite was quite true but Nimroy enjoyed the friendly banter.

"I know, I just can't understand it myself." Zathris shook his head at the folly of women. "But I can't complain, even if she is a bit odd in the head to have agreed to marrying me."

Nimroy laughed, but his eyes were soon drawn to the approaching form of Nandrie and his son. "Ah, there's my boy," he said standing to hold his arms out to the child who was already squealing and wiggling at the sight of his father. "Thank you, Nandrie, I'll have him back to you in a few candlemarks. Will you be in the Nursery?"

"Aye and where else would I be?" she replied smartly.

Nimroy raised his eyebrows, "Well, ever so occasionally you do get out and about the hold, my dear. I have even heard tell of your gracing the main hall with your presence."

"Humph!" She was in no mood for his impertinent teasing.

"Zathris, have you met Ailnim's nurse, Nandrie?"

"I believe I've passed you by in the halls," Zathris politely stood up and bowed his head, "But I don't think we've been officially and properly introduced."

"Well, then, Zathris this is Nandrie. And Nandrie this is Benani's husband Zathris."

"Pleasure ta meet ya, sir." Nandrie offered a nod of her own. "Lady Benani 'as visited the nursery many a time, and she's quite the dearheart."

"Aye, that she is." Zathris agreed more than readily. "And it comes as no surprise to me that she's visited the nursery. I have a feeling she spoils that son of yours, Nimroy."

"Yes, well keep in mind, I shall return the favor one day," he warned his friend while he tried to disengage his hair from Ailnim's small fist. He obviously needed a haircut if it was within the boy's reach.

"I'll take my leave now, sirs," Nandrie stated with a smile.

"Of course, Nandrie," Nimroy answered, knowing someone must be watching over her own young daughter, his son's milk-sister.

"I'm sure you will spoil any children we have indeed." Zathris watched Nandrie until she disappeared around a corner, then looked to Nimroy and his son. What was it like to have a child? A pang speared through his heart at the loss of the two he had loved so much, even though one had died within the womb.

Noting a sadness in his friends hazel eyes, Nimroy realized he must be thinking about the wife and child he had buried. Once again, Nimroy felt guilt rise within him. Unlike himself, Zathris had dearly loved the wife he had lost. "Yes, I will spoil them rotten, teach them the most appalling habits, and then send them back to you, along with their older cousin here," Nimroy tickled his son's belly making the child peal with laughter, "While I attend a trade agreement far, far away."

"Don't spend too much time away." Zathris cautioned gently as he stood. "They grow up fast." Zathris didn't have a child, but he had been around children of friends and other family. He knew how quickly they changed. "I'd best get back to my work. I'm sure I'll see you at dinner, eh?"

"I'm sure you will," Nimroy answered, thinking how true Zathris's statement was. Ailnim would be walking soon. Perhaps he should wait just a bit before making any travel arrangements.

Last updated on the January 24th 2009

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Leave the Past Behind