Catching Up

Writers: Avery, Cali
Date Posted: 21st February 2009

Characters: F'gol, L'pin
Description: F'gol asks what it means to be a blue rider.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 13, day 24 of Turn 4

"F'gol?" L'pin called as he walked into the male side of the Weyrling Barracks. He approached the younger man. "I'd like to talk to you, if you don't mind."

He recognized the man, he was the Weyrlingmaster Second and had talked to them briefly after the Hatching, and that morning when introductions were made as well. He looked around, but couldn't find any fault with his section of the barracks he'd just cleaned. "Yes sir?"

L'pin saw the look. "Don't worry, this is informal." he assured the younger man. "Would your blue mind if we took a little walk?" He didn't want F'gol to be afraid to bring anything up where others could hear.

F'gol tried to ask Tealth, but the blue was sleeping after his latest meal. "I don't think he'll even notice."

"Chaneth will keep an eye on him just in case." L'pin said, and gestured for the blue weyrling to precede him out the door.

"Am I doing something wrong?" F'gol asked after they'd walked in silence for what seemed like an eternity. At the Hall, he'd be pulled aside because he was in trouble.

"No." L'pin told him. "But I did want to talk to you in private about how you're adjusting. You haven't had the classes, which means an awful lot of material to process at once. I only had a few sevendays of classes before I did- I know it can be hard."

"Everyone seems to know what to do already." F'gol said with a sigh. "I mean, I didn't even know that dragons ate so much. Will I ever catch up?"

"You will. It takes time and effort on your part- you'll need to have extra lessons with us in the evening, possibly even on restdays. But you will."

F'gol figured he'd lose whatever free time he might have on catching up. Not that there was much free time as far as he understood it. He stopped walking and looked around briefly to make sure they were alone. "Can I ask you some stuff kind of personal?"

"Of course you can." L'pin said, trying to project an aura of gentle competence; he wanted F'gol to respect him as a teacher, of course, but he wanted all his weyrlings also to see him as a father figure, a confidant.

He was embarrassed that he was going to broach the subject, but he had to talk to _someone_ about it since he was pretty sure it was just the sort of stuff he needed to know that he'd missed in candidate classes. "I Impressed a blue dragon. Does that mean I have to _be_ with guys?"

"No, it doesn't. It does, however, mean that on a certain level a part of you wants to. Or, if not directly wants to, isn't the kind to run screaming in fright from the idea." L'pin hoped the levity would help. "I had a relationship with a female greenrider for quite a few Turns. Any rider of a male dragon needs to understand that he will wind up with a man at some point, and a woman at another. Believe me, even bronzes catch male-ridden greens, and they have to deal with it. For most of them it's part of life. Blueriders tend to be accepting of the fact, rather than resigned, but it isn't a given with every person."

F'gol didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until he let it out in a sigh of relief. Being at the Hall, there'd been enough talk of dragonrider flights and whatnot that he knew that in flights you could end up with anyone; boy or girl, young or old. But he was confused about the blueriders. He'd seen male blue and greenriders together on the beach and at the Weyr in obvious romantic relationships; but one of the apprentices at the Hall had a bluerider father and said that he'd been with his mom since they were kids. It was very confusing. L'pin made it _still_ sound confusing, but maybe not as scary. "My best friend at the Hall is Jestyn, and I think I'd punch him if he ever tried to kiss me."

"Well, you don't have to be attracted to _every_ male, just like you don't need to be attracted to _every_ female. Teenage impulses notwithstanding, of course." he said quietly. "I knew I was interested in men since I was young, but I only found my first interest in a female Turns after Impressing. You may wind up being the reverse."

He knew he was attracted to women, his immediate reaction to Meledei in the bathing pool, not to mention Sheste and Aletta were examples of that. He tried to imagine himself attracted to men, and while he'd seen plenty of them naked in the bathing pools, he couldn't think of a single time when he'd been interested in doing anything with any of them other than maybe dunking them. Maybe he'd be more of that accepting type L'pin mentioned... "I heard in a flight you could end up with your grandmother and not remember it, is that how rider's deal with being with people they don't know, or like?"

"It can be. It depends on your own bond with your dragon. If it's very tight it's easy to not even realize until you wake up, and then you can just get dressed and leave." L'pin said. "It's harder the first few times, and harder for others. Imagine being a bronzerider waking up with a male greenrider, for example."

F'gol didn't know what the difference was between a bronzerider and himself, but since he didn't think his bond with Tealth could be any stronger than it was, he hoped that he could just be the wake up and run sort. "Can I... If I have other questions about stuff like this... can I come and ask you?" He hadn't been nearly as uncomfortable to talk to L'pin as he thought it might be. Maybe it was because he was a fellow bluerider?

"You can always talk to me about any questions you have." L'pin said reassuringly. "At any time of day."

"Thanks." F'gol replied with a nod. He had a feeling he was going to have a lot of them.

Last updated on the February 21st 2009

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