What I Want

Writers: Avery, Yvonne
Date Posted: 27th February 2009

Characters: Kapera, J'nus
Description: Kapera comes to a realization after Riyanth's flight
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 26 of Turn 5

Kapera

Kapera had wanted to have an early night, so she had quietly asked Teseada if she wouldn't mind taking her duties and she would make it up to her later, really she would. She didn't think it would look too sulky, plenty of goldriders wanted the day off after their flight.

She threw herself on her bed and sighed. T'mahl had not been bad, but he hadn't been who she wanted, either. Riyanth hadn't cared who she wanted, she just picked the bronze she liked. She hadn't even known the gold liked Uluruth! She sighed again and punched the pillow. She'd wanted J'nus, dammit!

She froze in shock. She'd never really admitted it to herself before, but it was there now, obvious. He'd been so different, kind. Didn't treat her like a high and mighty goldrider. Taken her to gathers. Been so nice...and she wanted him. It didn't matter he was older. But...was he interested? He _was_ much older. What if he didn't actually have any interest beyond that of a friend?

Typical. She'd wanted men to not see her as a bedmate for more than a Turn. Now here he was, and she wanted him to see her that way. How screwed up was she? But the thought of J'nus kissing her, touching her, twining with her in the furs...

Shardit. It was residual from earlier, she knew, but she couldn't get it out of her head. So she threw on a fuzzy robe and practically ran to J'nus's room. She knocked on the door fiercely when she got there, wanting him to open it, needing to get inside before anyone saw her like this, hair dishevelled, in an ancient robe, barefoot and almost crying.

Then she stopped mid-knock. What if...what if he'd found another woman after the flight? What if she was there now? But it was too late, she'd knocked already, and the door was swinging open.

J'nus looked surprised to see her there, and a little unfocused. An empty wine bottle sat by the couch behind him, and his feet were bare. He hesitated a moment, but then the expression on Kapera's face registered and he pulled her inside. Heat from her skin seared his palm where their hands met, and he snatched his hand away before he pulled her against him. Sharding dragonlust. "What are you doing here? Where's T'mahl?" Her place was with her new Weyrleader in _his_ weyr, not naked beneath her robe in his.

"I don't _want_ T'mahl. Riyanth didn't care what I wanted. I didn't want to stay with him, just like I didn't stay with D'wrayt last time. I don't have to comply with her after the flight." She was babbling slightly, she knew, but she was relieved his was alone. And a little disappointed he didn't want to see her.

She smelled like sex and spice, and he licked his lips. **Help me, Kopth!**

}:Why? You want her to be there.:{

**But not like this... ** Even as he thought it, J'nus knew better- the problem was that he _did_ want her, desperately. If a goldrider didn't want to be touched after her flight, she wouldn't go to a chasing bronzerider's weyr... would she? "But why are you _here_?"

She crossed her arms and hugged herself defensively. "Because I wanted you." she half-snarled. "I wanted you to win and SHE didn't give a damn about it!"

J'nus froze. He felt cold, then lit on fire. Residual dragonlust meant that he'd grabbed Kapera by her arms and his lips were on hers before he'd truly comprehended what she was saying: she wanted _him_. Not T'mahl. Not D'wrayt. Not Ukaiah, or any of the other bronzeriders whose dragons had taken to the skies in pursuit of her gold, or any of the other men who hopped in and out of her bed on a weekly basis. She'd come to _him_, and shards, did it feel right.

Twin thrills rushed through her simultaneously. One came from the remaining dragonlust, a hot burning immediate fire. The second was a warmer, deeper satisfaction that he responded. She pressed herself as close to him as she could, wanting this moment to be eternity.

After a moment he pulled back to study her face; pale skin, wide green eyes, lips slightly parted. Her hair was loose down her back and soft between his fingers as he brushed a strand from her forehead. He kissed her again, and whispered against her mouth, "Are you staying?"

"No, I'm going to kiss you and leave," she teased, but the way her hand moved down to curl possessively around his hip belied it. "Of course I am. I want to stay. I...I've been wanting this." she revealed hesitantly. "For a few months. But I didn't know..."

"Didn't know what, if I'd turn you away?" J'nus laughed, a little breathlessly, at the thought.

"You never acted like you wanted to bed me," she told him.

The bronzerider shook his head in disbelief. "You're the most fascinating woman who has ever knocked on my door, bar none. I thought that _you_-- aw, scorch this." She might have been taller, but J'nus was a lot bigger, and he scooped her into his arms as easily as if she was a sack of firestone instead of a woman. He navigated through his cluttered weyr and threw her onto the large bed in the corner, and joined her a moment later in the furs. His hands circled her waist and slipped beneath her robe as his mouth sought hers.

Kapera laughed, giddy with the sensation of being off her feet and in his arms. As soon as he joined her on the bed she moaned and kissed him, arching into his hand. J'nus took that as encouragement and undid the knot that held her robe closed, eager to run his hands across the shape of her body.

He loved the way her lips pressed against his, demanding, and the silky feel of her skin, and as his mind clouded over with residual dragonlust, he swore to himself that he would move as slowly as he was able, to make their time together last. Kapera was as caprious as she was beautiful, and while she might want him tonight, he wasn't fool enough to believe that she would want him forever.

She whimpered a little as his hands ran over her and the robe fell away, and even as he distracted her in wonderful ways she reached up to pull at his own tunic, letting one hand run under to tease his skin and the other hand to fumble at the laces. She needed to touch more of him, all of him. It wouldn't be real until she could see him naked, understand that he _wanted_ to be there with her, that her childish little dream was real.

The scent of her, the feel of her- it was intoxicating. J'nus began to feel as if he was drowning. He wasn't sure how it happened but they were naked on the furs together, their bodies entwined as fiercely as he'd wanted not that long before - since before Riyanth's flight. Her long black hair fell in waves around them and tickled his sweat-slicked skin, her breasts pressed up against his chest. He couldn't look away from her.

Afterwards they lay together, and J'nus smoothed Kapera's hair away from her face and into a swirl on his pillow. She was so pale, her hair so dark, her eyes so green... the bronzerider wished that he could paint, but wasn't sure that there was enough colour in the world to make a proper copy of the woman he held. He leaned over to kiss her shoulder and tasted the salt on her skin. "I'm glad you came."

"Me too," she murmured softly. Exhaustion was overtaking her. First the flight and the mental strain of controlling a gold, and then the afterflight, and then the brooding and worrying, and now this. Emotionally and physically she felt worn thin. "But I'm even more glad you wanted me here. I...care about you, J'nus." From her, even though it wasn't the most explicit declaration, it was an effort to say.

The bronzerider smiled, leaned over, and gently kissed her. There was nothing left to say.

Last updated on the February 28th 2009

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What I Want