We Are Over

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 6th March 2009

Characters: Traelyn, U'kaiah
Description: Traelyn gives U'kaiah the chance to end their relationship properly...and he takes it.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 3 of Turn 5
Notes: Follows "Spurned Love"

}:Nyith is on our ledge,:{ the bronze informed his lifemate as he broke up
his wing meeting.

To say U'kaiah was surprised would have been an understatement. **Trae's
here?**

}:Nyith says they've been there for a while, and hers is angry.:{

The Wingleader pulled off his riding cap and smoothed his curls back with
his fingers in a nervous gesture. Of course she was angry. What else
would she be? And just what did he do this time, he wondered. He pulled
at the laces of his wheyrhide jacket, letting the falling rain cool him.
Truth be told, he didn't want to see her. He had been tempted so many
times to go to Dolphin Cove, just to talk to her, just to look at her.
But every time he talked himself out of it, like talking himself off of a
ledge. Seeing her would just make things worse, he understood that. So
why in Faranth's name when he'd been so good, why did she have to come to
him now?

**Tell her... Tell her we'll be there in a minute.**

He was probably stalling, Traelyn thought darkly once Nyith had relayed
Kalamath's response. Well, let him stall as long as she wanted because
she wasn't going to leave until she'd had it out with him. She crossed
one leg over the other before downing the rest of the wine she'd found
sitting out in U'kaiah's bedroom, along with two wineglasses and a rumpled
bed that still smelled like sex. The fire the alcohol made within her
only served to heighten her fury, which had doubled since seeing the
telltale signs of a couple screwing around, so when U'kaiah finally
deigned to join her, she was ready for him.

"Well, Trae, I was surprised to hear you were visiting. To what do I owe
the honor?" U'kaiah tried to keep his tone light, but the look in her
burning grey eyes reaffirmed that this was not a friendly visit. But
shards he hated how hot that smoldering look was.

She slowly stood, setting the bottle down very carefully on the table.
"If you're going to end it," she began quietly, "end it now. With words.
Tell me: 'Trae, we're over. This relationship of ours is over' because if
you think that I'm going to accept you walking away from me as the end,
then you're wrong."

"All right," he said, though he had to take a deep breath to steel himself
first. "We're over, Trae."

She glared fiercely at him, blood roaring in her ears. Something inside
of her was cracking. Breaking. "Just like that."

"Not just like that, Trae. Don't think for one moment that this is easy
for me." She had been a huge part of his life for so long, even just
being in a room with her now and not falling on his knees to beg her to be
part of it again was a challenge.

"I'm sure," she snorted, glancing pointedly at the rumpled furs.

U'kaiah snorted softly, shaking his head. "Don't try to throw my lovers
in my face. Not when you're still in love with your brownrider."

"At least _he_ never would have brushed me off to the side!"

And why would he have? "He didn't have to. He would have won in the end
anyway. I just didn't want to drag out the fight. It would have done
none of us any good."

"Oh yes, U'kaiah. Play the role of the self-sacrificing, if it makes you
feel better about yourself."

"You think it makes me feel better knowing that I lost you? Shards, I've
been trying very hard to find a way to make myself feel better about that
fact, and so far nothing makes me feel better!" She still had her
brownrider lover, but what did he have? He walked away with _nothing_!
Was she so sharding blind to that fact?

"_You're_ the one who shoved me away! I came to you the night of the
Hatching. I came! I didn't have to, and I had ever reason not to, but I
did. You're the one who walked away from me that night. You're the one
who's telling me it's over!"

"What do you think would have changed so that this could ever have
worked?!" he said, finally raising his voice to match hers. "You wanted
someone close to you and you found him. I would still be here, and _he_
would still be there, every sharding day!"

"And is it so wrong for me to want _more_ from us? From you? We could
have had that! We both could have had everything if Kalamath had won!"

"But he _didn't_ Trae! That chance is gone! It can't be changed!
N'vanik is your Weyrleader and I never will be. You can't accept that
fact, but I have to!"

She ground her teeth. "You could always still transfer. Nyith will rise
to mate again. But oh!" She feigned shock. "I forgot. You will be
Weyrleader at Dragonsfall or not at all, isn't that right?"

If she wanted to play that game, U'kaiah would call her bluff. "All
right. Maybe I will transfer. But only if you agree to transfer your
brownrider out of Dolphin Cove."

"Do you dare presume to tell me how to run my own Weyr?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "But I want you to look me in the eye
and tell me that you will give up your lover to be with me. I give up
something, you give up something. That's how a relationship goes."

Temper flashed in her dark eyes, and she lifted her chin--but didn't reply.

The bronzerider took a step closer to her, looking down straight into her
eyes. "Tell me you'll give him up for me."

"Why?" she snarled. "You wouldn't transfer anyway."

"You can't even say it, can you?" He shook his head with a soft mirthless
laugh that faded as he looked down at her. The bronzerider's eyes turned
sad, filling with tears that would not fall. "We are over, Trae. We're
over."

And as she searched his eyes, she knew he wasn't lying. Tears filled her
own eyes as she gazed wordlessly at him, as if to memorize each and every
detail, the curve of his cheek, the wayward strands of hair that fell
across his forehead sometimes, the line of his mouth...and those eyes of
his. She let loose a soft breath, but it was more like a faint sob than
anything else. She'd lost him. Her lover, her friend. She'd lost him.
"Fine."

A tear finally escaped. "I'm sorry, Trae," he whispered, and he meant it
deep down in his soul. "I'm sorry."

Shaking her head, she edged around him and escaped out of his bedroom.
She had to leave here, had to get away from his weyr full of memories--and
him. Nyith was already crouched down and waiting for her, crooning,
filling her rider's mind and aching heart with adoration and love. If she
had been anywhere else, she would have thrown her arms around her queen's
muzzle and would have allowed herself to be comforted, loved. She would
have allowed herself to cry. But she couldn't. Not here.

It was only when Nyith sprang from Kalamath's ledge that Traelyn let the
tears of her loss stream down her cheeks. But in the cold nothingness of
/between/ she couldn't feel them.

She couldn't feel anything.

Last updated on the March 21st 2009

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We Are Over