Willing to Try

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 20th April 2009

Characters: B'ram, Traelyn
Description: Trae and B'ram come to a surprising understanding ...
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 7 of Turn 5

B'ram

Goodbyes were always awkward, but after the Flight the brownrider had really needed a little something to relieve the burning lust coursing through his body. He could never understand the people who could just jump into a cold bath and seem to be fine afterwards. B'ram could do it if duty demanded it, but he much preferred finding a willing woman to help him, and there were always several, like this young drudge, who stood around the men for just such a purpose.

B'ram didn't bother with his shirt, though he did pull his trousers back up around his waist. "Thank you for coming with me. I just... Well, you know."

"Yes," the drudge said with a very understanding smile. "I needed a little something too."

"Are you going to work then?" he asked, picking up her tunic from off the floor and handing it back to her.

"No, I was coming off duty when I noticed the circle. It had been a long day and this was just what I needed," she said as she slipped it over her head. "Now I have to take a quick dip in the bathing pool and pick up my son from the foster mother's."

"Well, like I said, I appreciate it." He held the bedroom chamber door open for her before walking her across the living area to the main room.

As he opened the door she leaned in and planted a firm kiss on his lips before brushing past him. "I hope to see you in the circle again some day, brownrider."

"I'll keep an eye out for you," he promised as he watched her walk out the door. As she turned to make her way down the hall he noticed a woman standing on the far side of the corridor staring at him with a glare of icy heat. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she pushed herself off of the cold stone, throwing her white-blonde hair over her shoulder with a snap of her head as she took a couple angry steps towards him. Wasn't this a lovely surprise... "Trae?"

The scowl she bestowed upon him was fierce as she came closer and closer before she was forced to drop her eyes so she could shove past him into his weyr. Once she was well inside, she turned around to face him again, arms still crossed tightly beneath her breasts, mouth set in a thin line.

"Well, then, won't you come in?" he asked with only a slightly sarcastic tone as he closed the door and turned to face her. Shards, she could flame Thread with that look. "It was a Flight, Trae."

A pale brow rose.

"I don't even know her name," the brownrider replied, crossing his own arms defensively across his bare chest.

She snorted derisively. Like _that_ was what she was angry about. Sharding brownrider. "You could have come to me."

"Could I? You're not exactly a drudge who can hand her duties off to someone else." What was he supposed to do, interrupt some important meeting? 'Excuse me, Lord Holder, but I really need to screw the Weyrwoman right now...'

"No," she agreed quietly. "But you could have checked."

"I didn't know you would have wanted me to. You never have before." In fact, he was surprised this was coming up now. What, had she had an itch she was suddenly annoyed that he hadn't been at her beck and call to oblige her?

Clenching her teeth, she looked away. He had a point, but she sure as a flaming shard wasn't going to admit to him that she felt threatened by a _drudge_, as insignificant as she was to him. The intense jealousy that had flared in her when Nyith had told her that she couldn't go to B'ram because he was working off some flight lust had surprised her, and the sudden feeling of possessiveness for him that had followed had shocked her. But maybe it shouldn't have. She knew he was all she had left. And _he_ knew that he was all she had left! Traelyn looked up at him, expression icy to mask her insecurity. "I thought it would have been obvious by now."

He shrugged, silently accepting the fact that, as always, Trae just assumed he would anticipate her every need and he would be punished accordingly when he failed in his duty. "You gave me no reason to think differently."

"I've given you _no reason_?" Something painful squeezed her heart. For Faranth's sake! She'd been with him nearly every night since the evening when U'kaiah had shoved her out of his life--making love, sleeping, eating...she did it all with him. Did he really think that she wouldn't care whether or not he came to her now? If he had won the flight, it would have been a different story, one where she wasn't standing here in a snit. But he'd _lost_ the flight. His mind and body hadn't been completely caught up in draconic rut. He had made the conscious decision to choose another woman over her, and the knowledge hurt, especially after this past month.

"No, Trae, no reason!" he shot back. "I've always gone to someone else and you never cared before. Why should you care now?" Just because she'd hanging all over him the last month didn't mean she wouldn't leave him as soon as a new bronzerider swaggered past her. He knew her too well. She only came to him because she had no one else, but she'd find someone. B'ram knew it was only a matter of time. "I have broken no promise, and you don't own me."

Traelyn glared at him. Shards, she knew she didn't. And he was right, she hadn't cared before now. But things were different, and sharding had been for sevendays! Traelyn knew this was petty, but she was frustrated on all sorts of different levels and this little stunt of his was enough to finally set her building anxiety and anger loose--enough to act on the hurt she felt at being replaced yet again. It was such a small thing, and she knew rationally that compared to everything else, she shouldn't _be_ hurt. But she was far from perfect.

He didn't like the way she just stood there, staring at him with such hurt, anger and disappointment in her eyes, like he had done something _wrong_! "What? What do you want from me, Trae?"

"You really don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?" he asked, throwing his hands up in the air helplessly. "That all your lovers have left you save me and you feel threatened every time I even look at another woman? I get that much at least."

Well, shards and shells! To hear him say the words--to listen to him describe what he saw her as...Faranth, it was ugly. Ugly, and distorted. Warped. What a scorched hypocrite she was. Furious, unnerved, she began to move past him--she needed to escape his piercing gaze that saw straight through her. "I'm leaving," she snarled as she brushed by him.

He caught her hand fast in his and pulled her back. "No you're not. You're staying right here."

"_Let me go_," she growled, tugging against his hold.

"No, Trae," B'ram said firmly, pulling her even closer against him with his other arm. "I won't let you go again."

Her eyes flashed defiantly, hands encircling his arm, squeezing angrily. "Why not?"

He grit his teeth, knowing that he was going to have five perfectly finger-shaped little painful bruises marring his skin. "Because as crazy as it sounds, sometimes I can't help but wonder if you don't belong here with me."

That wasn't what she'd been expecting him to say. No, not at all. Shocked, she stopped struggling against him, but still her heart hammered in her chest. "With you?"

"With _me_." And not some sharding bronzerider who she was too sharding afraid of to show who she really was. He might not be as high stationed as they, as big or brave as they, but scorch it all, he loved as deeply if not more.

A silence fell between them. A stillness. Traelyn closed her eyes, shock fading as relief warred with her lingering temper...and fears. Slowly her grip on his arm loosened--but she didn't let go. "I've wondered too," she finally whispered.

"Would it really be so terrible?" It would be scary for sure, for both of them. But wasn't it worth at least _trying_?

It would be terrifying. Thrilling. "Do you think we could...pull it off?"

"I don't know," he admitted, raising her chin to meet her eye to eye. "But I'm willing to try. That has to say something."

It said a lot. After everything that had happened between them over the Turns and these recent months, for him to still want to be her one and only lover just proved how deeply he cared for her. Loved her. And didn't she also share the depth of his feelings? His admission shouldn't have surprised her as much as it had, for she knew him. Just like he knew her. "Yes," she said softly, trembling a little, knowing that as soon as she said the words dancing on the tip of her tongue, she would cross a bridge she never thought she would have crossed with him. Perhaps it was time to cross it. Finally. "And...I am too."

Last updated on the April 27th 2009

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Willing to Try