Shame and Anger
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 3rd December 2009
Characters: Traelyn, B'ram, U'kaiah
Description: Traelyn has had a trying day.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 6, day 5 of Turn 5
"Some people just have no sharding respect!" Traelyn snarled, kicking off her riding boots and watching them hit the wall with a satisfying thud. "No respect at all!"
B'ram looked up from the pair of riders straps he was carefully sewing together just in time to watch the second boot hit, leaving a nice muddy print on his wall. He hoped _he_ wasn't going to have to clean that one up. "What happened?"
"I was told how to do my own sharding job today by a greenrider. A _greenrider_." Glaring, she sat down on the chair. Shards, how it still rankled!
"Why would she do that?" he asked when she seemed to not be elaborating voluntarily.
She turned her glare on him, knowing that it really wasn't fair to be mad at him--or to blame him--for making her remember each embarrassing second. She came barging into his weyr hissing and spitting like a feline, after all. Of course he would ask for an explanation. But even still....! "I made a mistake," she muttered.
That explained very little, he noticed. "What did you do?"
"I called the Wing formation wrong. Left obvious holes. But the greenrider decided it would be best if she pointed out my mistakes in front of _my_ Wing." It had been humiliating. Traelyn had been able to keep somewhat of a bland expression, but the fire in her had expressed itself in her eyes. As it always did. It had been obvious by the greenrider's own answering expression and words.
B'ram shrugged. "Well, we all make mistakes sometimes, I guess." Sure it was embarrassing, but you sucked it up, learned from it and kept going. Trae just seemed to be over reacting was all.
He had a point. But shards, it had been in front of _her_ own Wing! And really, her making a mistake was only part of the reason why she was feeling so snarly. "Yes. But the greenrider didn't have to take me to task in front of my entire Wing. I had already landed the Wing because I caught myself in the mistake. And she knew it, too."
"Well, it's over now." And with that, he figured her story was over too, so he turned his attention back to his straps.
Her lip curled. **Thanks a lot for understanding,** she thought darkly. "Yes." Of course he wouldn't really understand. He had never been in a position of leadership before. Now U'kaiah...he would have understood.
~~Flashback~~
U'kaiah's fingers wrapped around her shoulders, knowing even before he could feel the tightened muscles under his hands that she was carrying a lot of tension. He could tell just by the way she was carrying herself. "What happened, love?"
Traelyn stiffened even more at his gentle question. Shards, he knew her well. But she didn't really want to relive today's incident....she wanted to ignore it. "What makes you think something happened?" Maybe he wouldn't push her.
The bronzerider wrapped his arms around her, deciding to ignore that question. She had to know he wasn't that stupid. He kissed her neck softly, just waiting for her to say something.
His silence was just as bad as pushing her--perhaps even worse. At least words could be distracting. There wasn't anything distracting about silence, especially a knowing silence. She shrugged her shoulders, irritated. "I know that there are some here who still resent me being their Weyrwoman. Despite everything...and despite their grudging respect, they still think of me as a usurper."
"Then they're sharding fools," U'kaiah muttered, understanding perfectly how frustrating that would be for her since he played his own part in sending her to this Weyr. "You have more than proved yourself. How many Weyrwomen have been through as much as you have in so little time? Why are you even listening to those flaming idiots?"
She smiled a little at the soft, protective snarl in his voice. But the smile soon faded and she shrugged a shoulder. "It's hard not to sometimes, U'kaiah. Especially when you're confronted with it."
He gently turned her around in his arms so he could look her straight in the eye. "There will always be people who want to cut down those who outrank them. Always. They're jealous and petty. Don't ever let them make you doubt who you are, Trae. You are a Weyrwoman, and it's the role you were born to fill."
The intensity in U'kaiah's eyes, and voice, made her swallow any self-deprecating remark lingering on her tongue. "Because Nyith chose me."
"The dragons know," he nodded, smiling his reassurance. He would not allow some bored gossip to shake her confidence.
It almost hurt to see that he had such unwavering confidence in her. Lowering her eyes, she rested her forehead against his. How she wished she could _believe_ him though. Sometimes she believed. But other times...like tonight....it was harder.
U'kaiah closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her once more. He wished he could fight her battles for her, but he knew this was one she would have to face alone. "You will show them all. I know you will."
~~End Flashback~~
That hadn't been the only time U'kaiah had encouraged her--had bolstered her self-esteem. She had grown to depend on him for it. Whenever she had felt confused and insecure about her position, or anything pertaining to it, she would confide in him. He had always known exactly what to say. Shards, she missed that....she missed.... Irritated, Traelyn shook her head, not allowing herself to finish the thought. But it was there, lingering solemnly in the back of her mind, waiting for her to openly acknowledge it. Her dark eyes flickered to B'ram, ashamed that she wished a dark head of curls was bent towards her instead. She stood abruptly, brushing her hands on her thighs. "I'm going to take a bath." Her voice was still tight, but the anger wasn't directed at the insubordinate greenrider--not anymore. No, it was directed at B'ram for not being U'kaiah, and at herself for even wishing such a thing. Turning on her heel, she left.
Last updated on the December 10th 2009