No Future Left

Writers: Eimi, Paula
Date Posted: 21st December 2010

Characters: Zelanka, Shadux
Description: Zelanka check's out Shadux after the new Steward's arrival.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 12, day 5 of Turn 5
Notes: Mentioned: Wirnan, Zathris

More than anything, Shadux just wanted to be left alone. When he heard
the knock on his door, he was very tempted to pretend that he was not
inside. But he knew who would be standing on the other side, and she
knew him too well for him to fool. "Come in," he finally called,
half-heartedly.

Zelanka knew how disappointed he was. Shell, she was disappointed too,
disappointed that he hasn't been choose, that some outsider, stranger
had been chosen. She knew he need comforting and brought with her a
plate full of freshly baked cookies and bottle of strong wine.

"Shadux-dear," she said when she entered. "How are you?"

There were too many emotions running through him in that moment. No
words came to mind, and so he just shook his head. She knew well
enough, anyway.

"I thought so. Do you have a glass?" Zelanka said and lowered her
burden to the table.

"Over there," he said with a nod towards a shelf. "I don't want any,
though." If he could have stomached the thought of a drink, he probably
would have been passed out under the table at the tavern by now.

"All right then," Zelanka said and sat down. "Do you want to talk about
it or do I just waffle on until you break up?" she asked.

What did it matter who talked first? He was too numb to care. "I bet
if Vesan had lived, _he_ would be Steward now." He had been the one who
was _supposed_ to have taken over after their father. His older brother
might have had the qualities, and just those few extra Turns experience,
that might have made the difference.

"Maybe. Instead we have a complete stranger, an outsider," Zelanka did
share Shadux view to a some point.

"I failed somehow," he said quietly, not even bothering to feel ashamed
as his eyes filled with tears. It was Zela, after all. "I don't know
what I did wrong, but I failed. And it's over."

"Oh, Shadux. I can't see _where_ you failed. You're perfectly capable,
as is also Tarvon or Alejaren," Zelanka's heart went out for him.

"Oh come on, Zela!" Shadux growled, showing the first hint of emotion
since the Headwoman had walked through his door. "I don't give a Thread
about Tarvon or Alejaren! I was supposed to be the Steward after Cyrek!
_Me_! Not them, and certainly not some flaming usurper. It was
promised to _me_ and my family as has been for generations!"

**Well, finaly,** she was relieved to his reaction. His apathy had been
scary. "Promised by who? Zathris or Benaroy?" Zelanka asked.

"Benaroy _promised_ me when he kicked my father out of his rightful
place that _I_ would take over for Cyrek. Zathris has failed to honor
his promise!" And to Shadux it didn't matter which Lord Holder had said
it. It was his family's job for countless generations back.

"Zathris is not Amber Hills blood, just married to it," Zelanka sighed.
There, as she saw it, was the heart of the problem. Zathris was outsider
and was bringing in more outsiders. The true Amber hill-folk were
becoming minority. It had started when Benaroy took in all those refugees
from Amethyst Cliff hold.

"And it's only getting worse." Shadux shook his head as he looked down
at the ground, feeling completely defeated. "This isn't my home
anymore."

"Don't say that, this is your home and home of the people who love you,"
she said.

"No," he replied emphatically. "There's no future left for me here."

"Where else there would be?"

"I don't know. They say a man can make a name for himself at Sun Stone.
Or maybe Amethyst Cliff. At least there I'd be building something out
of the ruins instead of watching them crumble around me." He looked at
the Headwoman, his eyes sincere. "I wasn't made to be some Steward's
assistant the whole of my life. Since I was three turns old, my whole
life has been building up to the moment I would take over as Steward.
And now it's gone. I can't stay here, Zela. I can't. I'll be
_nothing_ here."

"There's us, your family, your friends," she nearly had tears in her
eyes.

"But all I know is _this_, Zela. All I know how to be is Amber Hill's
Steward. Not some assistant. Not teaching someone how to do _my_ job!
From the moment Vesan died, that has been my destiny, and now it's
_gone_!" Did she really not understand that the floor had fallen
completely out from underneath him?

"What would you do then, instead of this?" Zelanka asked and gestured
towards his knots. Somehow she just couldn't imagine her life without
Shadux. He was as dear as her own children.

"A Steward. Or at least an assistant Steward somewhere there at least a
_chance_ to succeed to the position." It was obvious to him that was no
longer likely at this Hold. "There _is_ nothing else I can do."

"Have you plans?" Zelanka asked almost catiously. Sounded like he had
given it some thougth. She dreaded the answer.

He nodded, silent a moment. Talking to her was forcing him to bring his
thoughts in line. Yes, there was something he could do. "I think I'm
going to write to Cyrek and see if he could use my help."

"Cyrek?" her mind did a little click. "And Mariss?"

The corner of Shadux's lips curled slightly at the mention of the former
stewards head strong daughter. "She wasn't that bad you know." Once he
had taken the time to really know her. "And at least he doesn't have a
son in line to take over. I might be able to prove myself valuable to
him. If he can overlook some of the things I had said to him." Which
he had meant at the time, but he'd take Cyrek any day. And Mariss.

"She was a good girl, different and willfull, but good hearted," Zelanka
said.

"Yeah," he nodded, thinking back to those night time walks they would
take together. "A little crazy sometimes, but... Shards she was
smart."

"Oh, yes, she was. You should see what she did to my accounts!" Zelanka
said longingly.

"She could keep up with the best of us, too. If she had been a boy..."
She'd be next in line for Steward, for sure. But she definitely
wouldn't have been _Mariss_, that would have been a tragedy. "I bet
they could use an extra pair of hands."

"In Amethyst Cliff? That's a sure bet," Zelanka replied. She didn't like
the idea of Shadux leaving, but she would never try to stop him either.
Same applied to her own children, if they ever got the idea of leaving
their home. He was going to have her support, no matter what.

"Cyrek knows what I can do," he continued, nodding affirmation more to
himself than to her. "And he's a man of his word. If there's no hope
of his supporting my succeeding him, he'd tell me straight and I can
think of something else."

"You can always marry Mariss to succeed him," Zelanka said. It was
rather cold-blooded solution but all too common in their Pern.

"What?" He wasn't sure if he should be amused or offended. "Are you
trying to say that I don't deserve the honor on my own? Or is this just
one more attempt at marrying me off?"

"More of the later," Zelanka admitted with a smile.

He shrugged, surprised a little that he couldn't completely discount the
possibility. "Who knows. We were kind of becoming friends there at the
end."

Zelanka just nodded. He was coming around, she could see that.

"I'll write him tonight," Shadux said, gripping his knees with his
hands, confidently resolved. He would get out of this place before the
bitterness of what it had become ruined the memory of what it had once
been.

Zelanka would be sad to see him leave, but his happiness was more
important to her than her own.

Last updated on the January 23rd 2011

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No Future Left