Why?

Writers: Devin, Dana
Date Posted: 5th December 2005

Characters: N'vanik, Traelyn
Description: N'vanik comes to Dolphin Cove eyr...but it isn't _just_ so he can enjoy the weather...
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 9, day 3 of Turn 3

N'vanik

It was getting later, and still he was restless. The book wasn't helping.
Every line he read seemed to leak out of his mind as soon has his eyes left it.

}:Why don't you go see her? Your mind is full of her.:{
**I can't.**

}:It's morning there now.:{ The dragon persisted.

N'vanik put the book down with a sigh. He walked over to his bronze and leaned against a large forearm. "Why is this bothering me?"

}:You like her.:{ "So what? I like plenty of women."

}:It's warm there. I will enjoy the sun. You will, too.:{ Loseth said tactfully.

An excuse was exactly what N'vanik needed. "Let's go to the beach."

~~~~~

They burst out into morning sunlight, Loseth bugling a greeting to the watchdragon. }:Nyith says her rider is in her weyr.:{
**I didn't tell you to--** N'vanik shook his head. **Alright, take me there.**

Thank Faranth the day wasn't like yesterday! The sun had finally decided to come out. Traelyn sharding needed a break from her office. And from those stacks of hides that loomed over her, mocking her. Maybe she'd go down to the beach later...

}:The sun feels nice today,:{ Nyith commented from the ledge. }:I'll take you to the shore later, Trae. It will be good for you.:{ She smiled as she slipped her arms into her tunic, unaware that Nyith was moving over to make room for a bronze to land on her ledge. A bronze who was not Hasaarth.

N'vanik slid off his dragon's neck as Loseth touched noses with the queen in greeting. He wondered if it was too late to go back.

}:Go on.:{ The bronze urged gently.

N'vanik took a few steps closer to the weyr. "Trae?" He called, not liking the hesitant sound in his voice.

She froze.

She knew that voice.

Shards and shells...

}:Go see him,:{ Nyith's soft voice called her back.

Hurriedly fastening the ties to her tunic, she then hastily pulled on some pants. Swiping her hair back from her eyes, she took in a deep breath, trying to shove back all the sharding, conflicting emotions that were bombarding her. Shards...

Traelyn stepped out of the bedroom and paused when she saw him.

N'vanik had a hard time thinking of anything to say. The sight of her seemed to wipe everything out of his head. He took a breath and got control of himself. "So, this is your new weyr. It's nice."

"Yeah...it is." Shards and _shells_... She didn't know what to say to him. She hadn't seen him since last month, and she couldn't forget the way they'd parted. Did he expect her to just forget it? Did he expect her to ignore what he'd said to her and move on?

Trae wasn't sure if she'd play that game this time.

_Why_ did this woman make him feel so unsure of himself? "I . . . came by to enjoy the weather. Thought I'd pay my respects to the Weyrwoman first."

For some reason, the words hurt, and her jaw tightened. "Is that all?"
she asked quietly.

All he wanted to admit, that was sure. "Well, I wanted to see how you were doing, okay?" It came out more defensive than he meant it to.

The admission was more than she'd been expecting. Shards..._why_ did he have to make things so sharding hard? She sighed softly. "Look, N'vanik, I..." She hesitated, then sighed again. What did she have to lose? But maybe they shouldn't talk here in her weyr... "I was gonna go down to one of the coves..." she shrugged a shoulder, "You want to come?"

He was surprised at the offer, but nodded anyway. "Alright."

~~~~~

She had Nyith show the coordinates to her cove to Loseth. It was true that they could've just flown straight there, but Trae didn't want people to see, to ask questions, to judge. A wry smile curved her lips as they winked out of /between/ above the sparkling ocean. Who was she kidding? There were no secrets in a Weyr. A Weyrwoman's life was public knowledge.

She glanced down, watching as the great bronze landed in the sand.

}:What distresses you so?:{ Nyith asked softly as she began spiraling leisurely down.

**I don't like confrontations, dear heart. And...and I'm going to. We need to sharding _talk_.** Trae was tired of this - of him treating her the way he did, and then expecting her to forget it. She wouldn't do it anymore.

}:Then talk to him. But try not to lose your temper. I don't like it when you do.:{ Nyith fanned her wings and primly landed beside Loseth, waiting for her rider to dismount before settling herself in the warm sand.

"What did I do to deserve a trip out here?" N'vanik said as he admired the cove.

**Nothing,** she thought, watching him. **At least, not yet...** Shards, she didn't want to lose her temper at him. She hoped she wouldn't. "I wanted to get out of the Weyr," she said quietly, coming closer.

He saw the way she was looking at him. "You wanted to get out of the Weyr, or you wanted to get _me_ out of the Weyr?"

"Both." She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at him. "You and I need to talk, N'vanik. I'm not going to pretend that we didn't part the way we did. I'm just not going to do it. Not this time."

"Fine. Then we'll talk." He'd been expecting this. This, or yelling, and it might come to that yet.

Traelyn nodded, then walked a few paces closer to the shore, then sat down. They might as well make themselves comfortable. Well, as comfortable as they could get in such a situation. She looked at him as soon as he joined her, and her voice was very quiet, very soft when she asked simply, "Why?"

**Why what?** Was his first thought. But she was expecting him to know what she was talking about, and he was pretty sure he did. He looked at Trae, her mere closeness making his heart beat faster. Resisting the urge to look away, he instead held her gaze. "Because . . ." He almost didn't say it, almost _couldn't_ say it, but he plunged on. "Because you terrify me."

"I terrify you?" She kept her voice quiet, her eyes searching his.

"I barely know you, and I keep wanting to tell you things I don't tell _anyone_. You make me feel . . ." He shook his head, unable to find the words. "When you're not around, I can't get you out of my head." There was a hint of frustration in N'vanik's voice.

Traelyn didn't know what to say. He'd never been so...open with her. And he was being honest. She could see it in his eyes. "Is that why you drove me away?" she finally asked softly.

Now he did look away, out toward the ocean. "Yeah." He said quietly, his voice barely audible above the sound of the waves. Shards, he hated feeling so exposed.

Trae could the feel the last bit of the edge of her irritation ebb away. Right now, she sharding didn't know _what_ to feel. She watched him watch the waves roll in and out for a long moment. "I wish... I wish you wouldn't, N'vanik." Her irritation might be gone, but the hurt in her voice, and her eyes, was still there.

"I know. I thought it would make it easier." N'vanik turned toward her.
"But it didn't."

She searched his face. "Make what easier?"

"You leaving."

This time, it was Traelyn who looked away. "Maybe it did," she replied quietly. In hindsight, maybe it did make that final jump /between/ easier. She focused her gaze on the distant horizon. "But I would've... I'd wanted to spend that last night...with you." She shrugged a shoulder, not knowing why that admission was so hard for her to say.

N'vanik didn't say anything. He laid his hand over hers, gently, in case she wanted to shrug it off.

Feeling his fingers on hers, she looked away from the ocean down to their hands. She could feel a sudden lump forming in the back of her throat. Then she looked up, silently holding his eyes with hers before she moved closer. Slowly she bent her head and brushed her cheek against his shoulder.

"I knew you couldn't resist me." He said, even as he leaned into her.

Her eyes closed as she rested her head against his shoulder, and a small grin whispered across her lips at that. It was arrogant, familiar... Shards. She never thought she'd see him again.

N'vanik put his arm around her. He was glad he'd come, despite how hard it had been. The feel of her head on his shoulder, the smell of her . . .
**Shards, what have I gotten myself into.**

They were both silent for a long moment before Traelyn at last broke the silence. "When do you have to get back?" she asked quietly. "It's going to be a new day for you in a few candlemarks, right?"

"Technically, it is right now. I don't need to leave until," He calculated, then smiled slyly, "Tomorrow morning, your time."

"I see..." A pause. Then she asked him, her voice still soft, "Do you...do you want to stay a while?"

"Yeah." He said without hesitation.

Last updated on the December 5th 2005

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