Shamed (2/2)

Writers: Estelle
Date Posted: 22nd August 2005

Characters: Enriline
Description: Enriline recalls the circumstances surrounding the death of her first husband
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 7, day 11 of Turn 3

"Milady..." Delis shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She had never felt entirely at ease in the presence of a high-born Lady like Enriline, and the idea of repeating kitchen gossip to the young woman was ludicrous. "Really, it isn't important."

"I think it is, Delis, and I insist on knowing who this woman is." Since dinner, Enriline's suspicions had only deepened. Leaving the men to their after-dinner drinking and gaming, she had summoned the Headwoman to her chambers and was determined to get to the truth somehow. "I cannot believe that my husband would never have mentioned such a close friend of his to me."

The Headwoman winced. "Milady, it's...delicate. I don't know all the details. Perhaps you should ask the harper," she added, eager to hand over responsibility to someone else."

"That's enough," Enriline said sharply. "Tell me what this Havra was to my husband at once."

She might not be the mistress of this Hold any more, but her tone was enough to command obedience, and so haltingly Delis began to explain.

"She grew up with Holder Faymar. They were great friends in childhood, but then she married and went away. When her husband died, she...well..." Delis stared down at her toes. "Your husband always admired her greatly, and they...they became lovers."

"Oh." Enriline paled put out a hand to steady herself on the back of a chair. "I suppose they must have ended this affair when Faymar married me."

"Of course, milady! That would be only proper."

But Delis had hesitated just an instant too long, and Enriline was beginning to understand. The frequent nights her husband had spent away from the Hold - supposedly visiting his cotholders, though he'd done so more than her father ever had with twice the lands and wealth.

She saw in her mind the faces of the holders, as clearly as she had earlier that evening when Theolan had read out the woman's name at the end of the will. The kinder ones pitying her, while others hid smiles. It must all be a great joke for the farmhands and herdsmen, with their rough humour and coarse manners. The ageing holder sneaking away from his proud and haughty wife, preferring the earthier pleasures to be found with some _commoner_.

How could _she_ be a laughing-stock, an unwanted wife? It had always been Faymar who should have been grateful to wed _her_. Enriline, graceful and elegant, skilled in all the arts of a Lady of rank and the daughter of a man of wealth and rank, renowned for her beauty, should have been almost too much for an obscure holder to expect in a wife.

And he had been nearly _forty_. All her friends had sympathised.

She managed to dismiss the Headwoman before sinking into the chair and hiding her face in her hands. It wasn't possible - it wasn't supposed to be like this! She was shamed by this will, as much as if Faymar had invited this Havra woman to the Hold and kept her in the chambers he should have shared with his wife.

For a moment she considered contesting the will, refusing to let this hateful creature have what she surely did not deserve. The connection between the woman and her husband was highly improper...but she was not certain that was grounds for a legal objection. Besides, it was beneath her dignity to play the jealous wife, to even admit that her husband's...mistress existed.

"I cannot stay here," she said softly. Not where she had been deceived, where the holders had laughed behind her back and she had never known.

***

The next morning, she had prevailed on the harper to take a letter to her father and within the sevenday, she had left Cathoran Hold for good, returning to her family home. Of course, she'd thought to grow old alone there, and had unexpectedly been rewarded with the most desirable possible match - Lord Ziadriel himself. A proposal she could not refuse.

Enriline shivered, and drew back from the window, closing the shutters against the cold. She had been shamed many times in her life. By Ziadriel, by Cazriel, and even her present husband - though that at least was no fault of his. He'd married her believing that his former wife, Lady Jerandra, was dead, her corpse burned to ashes, and when it turned out that she had survived he had at once taken steps to make their marriage an honest one.

None of these, though, held the same pain as that first time, even after so many years. It had left her with an abiding hatred of deception and of false family ties outside the proper bond of marriage - and nothing her husband said would ever persuade her to tolerate such behaviour in silence.

Last updated on the August 28th 2005

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Shamed (2/2)