Mutual Grief and A Shared Need

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 7th January 2006

Characters: U'kaiah, Traelyn
Description: U'kaiah comes to Traelyn seeking comfort, and both end up being a comfort for each other
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 9, day 9 of Turn 3
Notes: Follows "DFW: Stay Strong" and "DCW: What Have They Done?"

}:I'm here. I'm always here,:{ Nyith whispered.

Traelyn closed her eyes, her hand tightening on the knob, fighting her sharding emotions. She _would not_ think about him now.

And L'kub...

A lump rose in her throat. **Shards...L'kub...** Fresh guilt welled in her, and she couldn't blink back the tears that rose to linger just beneath her lashes.

A sob, so soft and so quiet that it was barely discernable to any listening ears, escaped her lips, and she pushed open the door.

The bronzerider stood from her couch as he heard the door open. "Trae?"
he asked, concern resonating in his voice.

Her voice was soft, disbelieving. "U'kaiah?"

"When Nyith said you weren't here I was going to go, but then she said you were very upset..." Shards but she looked close to tears! He took a step closer to her. "I hope it's all right that I waited."

She closed the distance between them, her arms surrounding him, her head nestling against his chest. "It's always all right," she whispered as those lingering tears trickled down her cheeks.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked softly as he cradled her in his arms. He had come expecting to be confronted with his own loss and sorrow, but instead his pain was forgotten in the face of her tears.

She shook her head against him.

"You can't tell _me_?" Shards, what had happened to her? He had known she was not happy here, but he had never thought to find her like this!

Again, she shook her head, her fingers tightening on his tunic. Memories of L'kub clashed with those of B'ram. She could hear their voices, cries of pain and moans of pleasure. She could see their eyes...one pair filled with tears, the other filled with savage lust, and they melded together, blending together until she couldn't tell which one was which.

She couldn't tell him.

U'kaiah wished she could tell him so he could know what he could do. Her pain touched a place in his heart that he wanted to ignore. He had found his friend with a soul as tortured as his own and he could feel their mutual grief and a shared need. His throat tighten a bit as he reached down and lifted her into his arms. "It will be all right," he whispered, as he carried her towards her bed.

Traelyn nestled further against his warm body, knowing that he understood her...just like she understood him. And her hold on him didn't lessen when they reached her bed. She lifted her dark eyes to his, knowing his pain - and knowing that he needed someone to comfort him like he was comforting her.

The look of understanding in her eyes was almost too much. He looked away quickly, setting her gently on the bed and sliding down next to her. They wrapped their arms around each other comfortably, knowing there was nothing the one wanted from the other more than to just feel another warm and caring body next to them. U'kaiah said nothing as his fingers ran through her hair, finding solace in the repetition of thoughtless motion. He loved running his fingers through a woman's hair. Long like Trae's or short like Jaela's, it hadn't mattered. But shards he missed her now.

They both lay silently for a long moment, each finding comfort in the other's proximity. She rested her cheek near his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat as his fingers smoothed through her hair. His touch soothed her, and she thought of him, and how many nights he must have spent with Jaela, stroking her hair like this. She shifted closer, sensing his need. Gently her hand began to caress his back and she softly whispered, "I'm sorry, love... I'm so sorry..."

"These things happen," he quickly whispered, his eyes searching her ceiling. "It was no one's fault."

She was quiet for a moment. Then her hand gently moved to stroke his hair. "U'kaiah... You don't need to pretend with me."

He leaned his head towards her hand as his eyes slowly closed. That felt so good. "We only had an understanding for a few sevendays, really. It wasn't enough time to form a serious attachment." That was his deepest regret. He could accept death. Fighting Thread the past few turns, death had become a fact of life. But it was the wasted time. "Shards there just wasn't enough time."

Traelyn's fingers stilled in his hair. She understood that. She did. Gently she rubbed her cheek against him.

All the chances they had. In the record room, in her weyr. On the beach.
He had always felt it would happen eventually. But eventually was just too late. "We were both such sharding fools, Trae. We should have known better."

Her fingers lightly moved down to caress the base of his neck soothingly. "You...you had each other though. Even if it was for a time...that time was better than not having any time at all."

He rubbed at his forehead wearily. "Maybe someday I will know you are right, Trae. But right now I'm not so sure." Part of him was greatful for the few happy memories they had, but the aching hurt made him wish he had just left the Werywoman to be just a bronzerider's fantasy.

She went silent as her thoughts drifted to L'kub again, and she winced inwardly, her eyes closing against the stinging behind her lashes as she rested her head back down near his heart. She wasn't so sure either.

Last updated on the January 7th 2006

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Mutual Grief and A Shared Need