With These Tears

Writers: Eimi, Dana
Date Posted: 9th January 2006

Characters: Traelyn, L'kub
Description: Traelyn wakes from a dreamless sleep, but only to remember...
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 9, day 10 of Turn 3
Notes: Follows "Mutual Grief and A Shared Need"

She was barely aware of the hand that had buried itself in her hair was now moving down her back and away from her. She was barely aware of how his arms were slowly moving out from under her, or how he slid quietly off the bed, hardly disturbing the mattress. If he paused to look at her or if he headed straight for the ledge, she wasn't aware of any of it. But it was the sound of Kalamath's tapering wings brushing against the stone and his talons clicking against the rock beneath him as he launched himself to the skies that woke her.

Traelyn stared at the now-empty spot beside her, blinking against the dark. It must be past midnight. She heard the watch dragon give a sleepy cry of farewell, and then all went quiet. He was gone.

Lifting a hand to her face, she scrubbed at her cheeks, then rubbed her eyes. She stifled a low moan as she rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. Shards...everything ached. Her arms, her legs, her back, her eyes, her throat... Her jaw tightened as she covered her eyes with an arm, and she wasn't sure if the loathing that was beginning to resurface in her was directed towards B'ram, or herself.

Maybe both.

Shards...what had she done? She'd gone to B'ram knowing full well why she was there, knowing that she was going to test him - going to push him as far as she could because _she_ was upset. Because _she_ was angry and wanted someone to snarl back. What she hadn't counted on was for her memories of L'kub to resurface so forcefully when B'ram had scathingly reminded her of what had happened all those Turns ago.

She bit her lip against the stinging in her eyes. L'kub... The image of him before they had split drifted into her guilt-ridden thoughts. L'kub.

~~~

"Come with me," L'kub whispered in the goldrider's ear, giving it a playful nip as he reached for her hand.

A slow, eager smile spread across her lips as her fingers curled in his. "We're we going?" she asked softly as she stood, brushing her cheek along his shoulder.

"Somewhere away from all these people," he said as he began pulling her carefully through the crowd of newly graduated senior weyrlings, still drinking, feasting and celebrating.

"Works for me," she breathed into his ear, lightly pressing her lips against his neck once they were concealed by the shadows of the empty corridor.

How she'd been _waiting_ for this night; the night when she was officially graduated to senior weyrling and she didn't _have_ to hold back anymore. She didn't _have_ to repress her feelings or thoughts for fear of hurting her queen, and she was quite aware of Nyith's intent curiosity touching upon her mind.

}:He's making you feel good. More so than usual tonight,:{ the young queen told her, as if her observation was of the upmost importance.

Trae grinned. **Yes, dear heart.**

"Nyith approving?" he asked as his fingers moved along her back, thinking that maybe even that dark corridor wasn't hiding enough...

"Mm-hmm..." She shivered slightly at his caress, and when she looked up into his eyes, her own reflected with longing. Shards, she felt as though this was her first time all over again. It really had been a long time...
"She's curious about all this..." she murmured, her lips tracing the flesh beneath his earlobe.

"I'm curious about all this too," L'kub grinned as his fingers found their way between the ties on her tunic. Shards he had been waiting forever! He turned his head and found her lips. The bluerider could feel his heart race the same as it had the first time he had ever kissed her - the first time he had ever kissed anyone. But this kiss was much deeper, much more familiar. It was like being welcomed home again.

Her soft moan was muffled on his lips, and when they both finally broke away just slightly to breathe, Trae felt her cheeks flush. She blinked and glanced up at him, her heart racing against his hand, which had freed its way past her blouse's lacings to her skin. "Shards, L'kub..." She reached out, caressing the backs of her fingers down the side of his face.

He removed his hand as another couple with their same idea could be heard approaching. Their little hide away would become crowded soon. "We should stop," L'kub whispered as his arms wrapped around her. He pulled her close to his body, resting his chin against her forehead. "We will have all night after all. And trust me, I don't plan to stop touching you until well into tomorrow."

"Good. Because I don't sharding want you to stop," she grinned, nestling against him. "Which do you think is worse? Being the weyrling and having to wait, or being that weyrling's lover and having to wait?" She couldn't keep her fingers from sliding under the hem of his tunic, tracing the skin of his lower back lightly.

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling her fingertips dancing along his skin. "Being the lover, definitely. You had a gold dragon to distract you and make the time go faster. I didn't appreciate how hard it was to wait for _me_ until these past few months."

Trae laughed quietly, suddenly glad that her face was hidden in the curve of his neck and shoulder. For her, there had been that one kiss.... But she had never told anyone, and she never would. Not even L'kub. _Especially_ not him. She closed her eyes briefly. Shards.

Driving those unwanted thoughts away from her, she began kissing his neck.
"So are we going to your weyr?" The couple not too far away from them weren't being quite as discreet as she and L'kub, and it was becoming quite obvious just how much they were enjoying each other. Trae muffled an amused snort in his shirt, her body beginning to quiver in silent laughter.

L'kub also found their vocalizations funny... and a bit arousing, especially considering the way her lips had felt against his skin. He sighed. "We should go back to the party for a while. After all, it's not just you who graduated. I need to see K'kar still. And B'ram of course. He's probably wondering where we got off to. He'd never forgive me if I didn't spend at least a little time with him."

She nodded. "Of course." Tilting her head back, she gave him a rather coquettish smile. "Come find me when you're ready for the other...party, hmm?"

"Why, you're not going to come with me?" The bluerider sighed in frustration. "You mean you two are _still_ not getting along? I don't understand you two. What is this thing between you guys?"

Her face was a mask of playful indifference and she shrugged a casual shoulder. "Personality clashes, maybe?" She didn't want to talk about B'ram - and her thoughts about him were anything _but_ indifferent. Hoping that he would not pry too much more into it, Traelyn leaned forward and kissed him before murmuring teasingly, "Just one more candlemark of waiting, then?"

"I doubt even that. B'ram will probably have a chosen partner for the evening in another half candlemark, if doesn't have one already," L'kub rolled his eyes in mock exhasperation. "And if he doesn't find one soon, I will encourage him to do so."

"Yes, yes. Encourage him." She brushed the tip of her nose against him before they slowly began to move away from the wall. She didn't want to sharding _wait_ anymore.

~~~

Traelyn didn't fight it as the stinging in her eyes gave way to hot tears.
They trickled down her cheeks, but they were few. No one could see her here. No one would hear her here. And so, with that knowledge, she whispered his name to the darkness.

Last updated on the January 10th 2006

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With These Tears