Grief Is A Lonely Thing

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 18th January 2006

Characters: Almonteo, Traelyn
Description: Almonteo comes to offer his condolences to Traelyn, and she confides in him
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 9, day 7 of Turn 3

Almonteo

Shards. This was the sharding _fourth_ time she'd read the same sentence, and she still couldn't understand what she was reading. Growling softly to herself, Traelyn curled her knees up on the sofa and slapped the hide down on the low table in front of her, frustrated. Work would have to wait for the rest of the evening.

Why couldn't she get a sharding straight answer out of him? U'kaiah's vague answers relayed to her through Nyith and his dragon worried her. It wasn't like him to behave this way towards her... It wasn't like him at all.

Raking her nails through her hair, she took in a deep breath, then let it out abruptly as a knock sounded on her door. She wondered if it was J'darin. "Come in."

"Excuse me, Traelyn, am I intruding?" the Harper Hallmaster asked as he ducked his head inside.

A small, genuine smile curved her lips as she shook her head. Work could wait, her thoughts could wait. "Come in, Almonteo."

"Thank you." He slipped in and closed the door behind him. "I came to offer my condolences. I know you were the Weyrsecond at Dragonsfall before. Losing the Weyrwoman like that is a terrible blow."

"It is terrible," she replied softly. "For the whole of Pern...and especially for Dragonsfall." **And for those who had loved her.**

"How are you doing, Traelyn?" he asked, sinking into the chair closest her.

She smiled slightly. "Are you asking the Weyrwoman, or the woman?"

His eyebrows raised slightly. "Can't I be asking you _both_?"

She winced and sat up straighter, giving him a soft, apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Almonteo. I'm just... Shards. I'm feeling so sharding frayed 'round the edges."

"That's understandable," he nodded, indicating that he was listening and she should go on.

"A dragon's death is hard to bear, but when a _queen_ dies..." She shook her head, her eyes shadowed by the memory of Nyith's eerie keening. A brief silence fell. "Jaela was so young," she went on quietly. "Not even past her twenties. It was a shock because...because she was always so strong."

"That is the reputation that I have heard. She sounds like a powerful woman." Almonteo regretted never meeting her. She sounded larger than life in some ways, and Traelyn's respect of her was apparent.

"She was." Traelyn closed her eyes briefly. "J'darin went to Dragonsfall yesterday to see D'wrayt. I wish I could've gone with him." This last bit was almost a whisper. Shards, U'kaiah... How long would he keep with-holding himself from her? How long would she have to stew in her anxiety and worry for him? Her jaw tightened.

"I'm sure you do." It was almost ironic timing that Traelyn's gold clutched the day before the death of the Dragonsfall queen, keeping her grounded until the Eggs hatched. "I'm sure they all know you would have come if you could."

"I know they know. But it's..." Shards. What was she _doing_? She needed to keep her thoughts to herself and be a good hostess and offer him some freshments. She rose to her feet. "Would you like something to drink? Water, wine?"

"Traelyn, that is a very obvious change of subject. I would have expected more of a Weyrwoman." He smiled gently to let her know he was teasing. "But truly, Traelyn, I want you to know that you can trust me.
I'm on your side. If you don't want to talk about this, I will respect that. But if you need to talk to someone, I am a good listener."

A half-smile curved her lips as she sank back down to the couch. "I do trust you, Almonteo." The more she spent time with him, the more he reminded her of her own father. She leaned back, a slight frown pulling at her lips. Maybe it _would_ help if she let it out... "It's my friend, U'kaiah," she finally murmured.

Almonteo remembered the name. "The wingleader archivist from the party.
I remember him."

She nodded. "I know that Jaela's death hit him hard. I know it. But every time I try to talk to him through our dragons..." She shrugged a shoulder, her frown deepening.

"He must be very busy," the Hallmaster pointed out gently.

"That's part of it." Shards, it hurt.

Almonteo's heart went out the young woman. Devotion to anyone, even just a friend, could pull at you so hard sometimes. "Well, what's the other part, do you think?"

"He's avoiding me," she replied quietly. "And I have a feeling I know his reasons...but it still hurts." Shards. She sounded so sharding...young. Her jaw tightened.

"Perhaps he's just not _ready_ to talk to you yet. Grief is... a lonely thing."

**It doesn't have to be...** But she didn't say that. "Then I won't push him."

Almonteo studied her a moment. "You know," he said leaning towards her a bit, "it takes a strong friend to give a loved one the space they need. It's easy to give in to the urge to rush in and fix them. But, sometimes they are just not ready to _be_ fixed." He reached for her hand and squeezed it. "Just be ready for him. I have a feeling, he will need a good friend like you."

Last updated on the January 18th 2006

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Grief Is A Lonely Thing