Restless

Writers: Yvonne
Date Posted: 16th July 2014

Characters: Harki
Description: Harki takes a little downtime to do something unusual -- reflect.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr, Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 7, day 22 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: Rorela, P'nal
Notes: Comes after "DFW: A Final Answer"

Harki was restless after leaving P'nal's weyr, and suddenly at loose ends. She hadn't expected him to actually tell her 'no'. That she deserved more than what she was offering-- could offer. What did that even mean!? She wandered aimlessly through the Weyr for a while, then abruptly spun on her heel and marched back to her own weyr to rouse her sleeping dragon. She wanted to feel sun on her skin and the blood in her veins. She wanted to feel... something other than what she currently felt.

Cerillith allowed herself to be strapped in with a minimum of fuss once she heard Harki's choice of destination. The pair rose into the chill Dragonsfall air and blinked /between/

to come out in blazing sunshine and heat, above a verdant jungle edged with golden sand and turquoise blue sea. Cerillith turned her wings toward the beach as Harki breathed a sigh of relief. There was no one around but the two of them. The green dragon landed in a flurry of sand, and Harki slid from her back and pulled the straps from around her dragon's neck. She stripped soon after, baring lily-white skin to a burning sun and relishing the feel of it.

A moment later she was running across the burning sand to fling herself into the ocean. The salty water closed above her head and she was floating in blue. Turning, she opened her eyes and exhaled a stream of bubbles at the surface. The muscles that had grown tense began to relax.

P'nal had surprised her, both with his declaration and his rejection. He'd always just been... around. Jodeth hatched three turns before Cerillith and she'd flown in Azure with him for ages. He went to many of the same parties and they chatted in the hallways sometimes. They were friendly, but not intimate. She'd never really felt as if they'd connected. Apparently P'nal felt differently. And she wasn't sure how she felt about it, especially now that he'd turned down her offer to warm his bed. What was wrong with her?

She rose to the surface and floated there, spread eagle with her hair in a salty halo that tickled her ears. The light was so strong it hurt her eyes and made them water. She closed them and let herself drift aimlessly with the current.

It wasn't that long ago that she'd left B'lac. Seven months. Maybe a little longer if she counted the time they had been separated, but she didn't. And it still hurt, a dull ache that pulled at her breastbone and made her wonder at her choice, and bravery. Leaving B'lac was the hardest thing she'd ever done. And the best. And the worst.

What P'nal wanted was still beyond her capabilities, and maybe would always be beyond her. She didn't want to be known as the greenrider that ruined a perfectly good Wingsecond when the Weyr needed leaders. People would talk. She didn't want to break him, the way B'lac had broken her. And worst of all was the feeling that she'd never live up to whatever idea of a greenrider he'd built around her.

Maybe Rorela was right. Maybe she did need to sleep off B'lac. Sex might heal a broken heart, if that was truly what she had. She exhaled, luxuriating in the burning sun against her skin. The burning felt good.

Maybe she didn't have a broken heart. Maybe she was just broken.

Last updated on the July 17th 2014

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Restless