Graduation Day (3): I Cannot Allow That

Writers: Eimi, Suzee
Date Posted: 12th December 2017
Series: It takes Time to Love

Characters: U'kaiah, Tavia, Hygalia
Description: Tavia listens in on a conversation she was never meant to hear.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 1, day 14 of Turn 9

Tavia

Tavia was upset, on behalf of Kaiavin this time. U'kaiah had promised
to be at his son's graduation and he hadn't showed up. She was so
upset that she'd just jumped on Sawauth and taken to the air. She told
her to tell Kalamath to keep quiet as it was a surprise. So when she
landed on his ledge, she went to the bronze first to thank him. "Thank
you," she said softly trying to hid her agitation. And then she heard
the voices...

"I am your Weyrleader! How _dare_ you command me!" the bronzerider
roared, throwing his riding helmet to the floor.

"You have every reason to be angry, U'kaiah," Weyrwoman Hygalia said
in a much more calm and measured voice. "But take a moment and think
about what
you were about to do."

"I was going to keep my promise to my son! That's what I was going to
do," he shot back as he ripped his jacket off his shoulders.

"Yes, by risking yourself and Kalamath," speaking with as much
gentleness as he was anger. "I cannot allow that."

He tossed the jacket across the back of the sofa and then planted both
fists onto his hips. "You don't even talk to me first? You just have
your gold command my bronze not to leave the Weyr?"

Tavia pulled her head back and settled against the wall outside the
door. She'd intended to break into their conversation but what she'd
heard moved her anger at the situation from U'kaiah to Hygallia. He'd
wanted to come, he'd really wanted to come.

"Would talking to you have changed your mind?" It was a rhetorical
question. They both knew how that conversation would have ended, as
was evidenced by the bronzerider's sudden loss for words. "I'm sorry
U'kaiah," Hygalia said, breaking the silence that had filled the room
for a moment. "I wish with all my heart you could have been there.
Of course I do. But we can't predict when these kinds of emergencies
will happen."

"I can still do both." His voice had lost it's anger. Now he was
pleading. "Your right, I should have talked to you first. I wasn't
thinking. I'm talking to you now. I'm begging you now, please,
Hygalia, let me go watch my son graduate his Harper Classes. Please,
I promised him."

"It's long over, U'kaiah," she said, her voice and eyes filled with
true sympathy. "The only way you can make it now is to go /between/
times, and I can't let you do it."

"I've done it before," he assured her, walking towards her with his
hands outstretched beseechingly. "I would never risk Kalamath. I
know what I'm doing."

Hygalia did not waver. "I know you've a lot of experience with
timing, U'kaiah. I've read the Records of what you and your men did
when Dolphin Cove was short handed. Going /between/ times almost
killed you. And it _did_ kill some of your riders."

"It was flying double Falls that almost killed me, not the timing."
It was the exhaustion, he was sure, that took it's toll and not being
in two times as once. "That wasn't the only time I timed it. I
spent candlemarks in two places at once and all it did was make me
feel sick. It had no lasting effect on me. Please, Hygalia, believe
me. I can do this. I just have got to get to my son!"

The goldrider shook her head as she closed the distance between them.
She reached for his hand and cradled it in hers for a moment before she
looked him in the eye with a very tender and understanding gaze. "I
know how much you want to be with Kaiafel today, and I wish on the Egg
that things could have been different. I have watched you struggle
every day with your sadness and your loneliness. I see you, U'kaiah.
I know there is somewhere else you want to be. But you are our
Weyrleader now. For whatever reason, Genith chose Kalamath. He is
her partner, and it is my job to protect them both, and you, even if
it's from yourself."

"I miss so much Hygalia," he said, softly. His eyes had lost their
fight. "I have broken so many promises. Please, _please_ let me keep
this one."

The goldrider shook her head and looked down at the stone floor
between them. "I cannot risk losing you. I just can't. Your son
will understand one day."

**He won't,** Tavia snarled in her mind. Never had she ever thought
that Hygallia had been the one preventing U'kaiah from being there for
his family, at least part of the time. It didn't change things
fundamentally other than where she placed the blame. No. He'd missed
too much of their lives for their relationship to remain the same.

"Will he?" U'kaiah asked incredulously as he let go of her hand and
walked over to a chair and flopped down into it. He knew she had won,
and that she was probably even right. Leaning his elbow on the arm of
the chair, he fingered the notch in his ear as he pictured his son
looking for him, and once more, he just was not there.

Hygalia watched him silently for a few moments before hitching a leg
up to sit on the arm of the chair across from his. "When was the
other time?"

"What?" he asked, having been lost in thoughts.

"When was the other time that you went /between/ times?"

"Oh. It was when Kaiavin was born." A small smile played on his lips
at the memory. "I got word that Tavia went into labor at the
beginning of a Fall. I knew I would miss everything, so when the Fall
finished, I timed in back so I could be with her."

"Your Weyrleader allowed that?" she asked, surprised that he would
have been given such license.

The bronzerider shook his head. "He didn't know. I didn't tell
anyone my plan. Not even her."

The goldrider smiled softly. "You thought being with Tavia was worth the risk?"

U'kaiah nodded, leaning his temple against his hand and closed his
eyes. "She will always be work the risk."

Tavia's anger cooled a bit at that. She didn't remember that day
clearly but he'd been there. She did remember that much. But how...
she didn't understand that part but she was getting a glimpse of
something she'd never even known of before this.

Hygalia nodded and stood up. The fight was over, though she could not
feel happy about the outcome. She shook her head as she crossed over
to him and squatted down to look up into his eyes. "U'kaiah," she
said, touching his knee softly to prompt him to look at her. "I
really am truly sorry. For today, and for everything."

He just nodded, though he did try to give her a half smile. He just
had no words.

She knew it was time to leave him alone, and so she rose to her feet,
but bent over to give the top of his head a soft kiss before showing
herself to the door.

Last updated on the December 23rd 2017

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Graduation Day (3): I Cannot Allow That