Graduation Day (4): Just Be There

Writers: Eimi, Suzee
Date Posted: 12th December 2017
Series: It takes Time to Love

Characters: Tavia, U'kaiah
Description: Tavia confronts U'kaiah about all that she's heard.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 1, day 14 of Turn 9

Tavia

Tavia's eyes were round as wheels on a wagon as she stood outside on
U'kaiah's ledge. She'd wanted to surprise him even though she was
upset with him for having missed Kaiafel's graduation. But this... she
absently rubbed Kalamath's eyeridges the way she knew he liked and
murmured her thanks again for not warning the pair of riders inside. Then
when she heard the door close on the inner wall the the weyr she blew
out a breath and walked around the corner into plain view. "Can I
come in?"

The bronzerider had not opened his eyes and was surprised when he
heard the greenrider's voice. But when he saw standing there, he did
not smile. Instead he hung his head in shame. "I tried to get there,
Tavia. I swear I tried."

"So I heard," she said.

His brow furrowed as he looked up into the greenrider's face. "What
did you hear?"

"A great deal," she looked toward the inner door. "For instance that
it was Hygallia that prevented you from coming to Kaiafel's
graduation." Her eyes were hard green ice.

"She didn't prevent me," U'kaiah said reluctantly. Tempting as it
was, he would not hide behind his Weyrwoman. "It was the death of a
Lord Holder and an emergency Conclave called that prevented me. I
thought I would still make it in time. I was just wrong."

Well that conflicted with what she'd heard with her own ears. "You
said Genith prevented Kalamath from leaving the Weyr. And when you
begged her she said _no_. And then you talked about something I don't
even think I've ever heard before U'kaiah." She crossed her arms. "Or
are you going to now tell me I didn't hear you can /between/ times?"

U'kaiah fingered the notch on his ear a moment as he thought about how
to answer that. Timing was always supposed to be kept secret from
green and blue riders, though he knew that they were as capable of it
as browns and bronzes. But a secret that big was bound to slip from
time to time, and usually in just such as case as this. With a
resigned sigh, U'kaiah knew he was just too angry, too sad, and too
tired to try to deny it. "The Conclave was called. It was my duty to
attend. But I went believing that as soon as it was over I would come
back, change, and take Kalamath back to Dragonsfall in time for the
ceremony. And yes, I had intended to go /between/ times. Hygalia
figured out that was why I was not more upset about missing it, and so
while I was changing, she had Genith command Kalamath not to leave the
Weyr today. She was afraid that I might make a bad jump and be lost.
But," he added out of pride, "I know Kalamath and I would have made it
there and back and been just fine."

She tried to wrap her mind around that and then she shook her head. He
cared about them, she knew that and didn't doubt it, just not more
than his sharding duty. but she didn't understand. "Tell me about
/between/ times. How is it done?"

The bronzerider stood and scratched his furrowed brow a moment as he
took a few paces to think how to answer that question. There were
reasons why green and blue riders were not trained. But he was sure
he could trust Tavia not to reveal secret, and was confident that she
would not be foolish enough to try it herself. "It's not easy," he
finally said softly. "You have to be very careful. You have to be
able to not only hold an image of a place, but also of a time to give
your lifemate. So today I checked the placement of the sun just
before the Conclave so I could go back in time to that moment and
could /between/ from there... then... over to Dragonsfall. And I
would have checked the position of the sun before I left as a
reference of how to get back to the time I belonged in."

U'kaiah sighed, shaking his head. "Hygalia was not wrong to stop me,
Tavia. She is right. Things could easily have gone wrong. I could
have gone back in time and met myself. They say if you do that you
would go crazy. Maybe even stop being. Same thing could happen when
coming back. Or I could confuse the two images in my mind, or get
stuck in the wrong time. And the longer your body is in two places at
once, the more that can go wrong. It takes a toll on you, mentally
and physically, to be split like that."

She took a step closer to him. "Is that why you looked so gray and
sick when Kaiavin was born?"

"Yes," he nodded, remembering how sick and exhausted he felt at the
time. "While you were in labor, I was by your side, but I was also at
the same time flying Thread. I don't know why it makes you feel so
stretched thin. Maybe one person can only have so much energy, so
when they have to spread it between two places..." U'kaiah shrugged.
Smarter men than him might know, but he could only guess.

"We could have lost you," she reached out and put a hand on his arm.
"That was a very big chance you took."

U'kaiah covered her hand with his. "I wasn't thinking about that at
the time. All I could think of was that I had to be by your side."

As much as she hated to say it. "Maybe Hygallia is right and you
shouldn't risk it." She shrugged. "You can tell him what happened."

"I just hope he can someday forgive me for all the promises I've
broken." U'kaiah was sure that his credibility with his family would
take a long time to rebuild. "Can you forgive me, Tavia?"

She understood the question but it was a very big ask. She sighed and
took a step back. "I want to," she said but her eyes were dark with
emotion. "I love you but this separation hurts. The longer it goes on
the more it hurts." She turned and walked toward his ledge entrance.
"I should probably go."

It only took a couple strides to catch up to her. "Stop," he pleaded
softly as his long arms wrapped around her and pulled her against his
body. "Please, Tavia, don't go."

Her eyes misted over as his arms went around her. She didn't try to
struggle but simply accepted the embrace and laid her cheek against
his chest. Her hands went to his waist. She didn't know what to say so
she simply hugged him back.

U'kaiah held her silently, resting his chin on the top of her head.
It had been a long time since they had even had this much intimacy.
He had missed her every day, but the anger and the guilt had kept them
apart for too long, driving them further and further apart. Finally
he whispered, "I'm sorry, love, for everything."

She hugged him for a moment longer and then leaned back so she could
look into his eyes. "We can still make the reception if we leave now."

U'kaiah took a long breath, his emotions warring inside him. One part
of him was eager to go, to salvage any part of the promise he could.
But he was afraid to see the disappointment and the hurt in his son's
eyes. "Is he really mad at me?"

"He's disappointed," she said. "Trying hard not to show it. But you
can change all that just by showing up." How could she tell him to
stop thinking about himself and think about what was best for his son.
"He'll remember this for the rest of his life," she said. "Just be
there."

**Just be there...* U'kaiah imagined Kaiafel's eyes when he didn't
come. His little man always did try to put on a brave face, but
his eyes always gave him away. The bronzerider's own eyes clouded over
with tears. "I just love that boy so much," he said softly. **And I
just hate that I'm not there...**

"Then let's go," she said and tugged him toward the ledge. "Sawauth
can bring us both," she added remembering how Genith had grounded
Kalamath.

U'kaiah dug his heels in. "Let me talk to Hygalia. If I explain that
you've come to get me, she'll let Kalamath go. You know Kaiafel would
want him there, too." He covered her hand with his. "This really
isn't her fault. She just wanted to keep me safe."

"However she meant it means nothing to me." She knew it sounded
callous, she didn't care. "Your sons matter." She extracted herself
from his embrace. "I'll wait by the star stone for twenty minutes.
Come or don't."

"Hey," he said gently, taking her face in his hands. "I'll be there."
U'kaiah leaned down and kissed her softly. "Thank you for still
loving me."

She smiled up at him but then lifted a finger, "twenty minutes."

Last updated on the December 23rd 2017

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Graduation Day (4): Just Be There