Whenever You're Ready

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 1st September 2008

Characters: Nialyn, K'lar
Description: K'lar makes a promise
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 11, day 17 of Turn 4

"It probably wasn't the best stunt, but all I got was a couple extra
nights on Watch. It was worth it," K'lar said, smiling at the memory of
his early days in the wing. "Of course Thread wasn't Falling yet, or else
I would have _really_ been in trouble. More wine?" he asked, picking up
the bottle from the table. "I've never had wine from the north, but it's
really not bad."

"It's sharding amazing." Nialyn held out her glass for more, doing her
best to ignore the fuzzy feeling in her head. Shards, she never drank so
much. But tonight she just couldn't help it. Ever since her terrible
fight with Birigundi, the weight of guilt on her shoulders was getting
heavier and heavier with each passing day. She needed to sharding escape
it--she felt trapped by that burden. K'lar's wine was a delightful
distraction....and he was a road to escape.

"Well, then, let's not waste any." He glanced up at her flushed cheeks as
he refilled her glass to half full. The wine was making her eyes sparkle
most attractively.

She took a long sip, not even bothering to savor the taste as she gulped
it down in one swallow. Wrinkling her nose, she gazed down at the glass,
then plucked at the front of her blouse. "Is it just me, or is it getting
hot in here, K'lar?"

The brownrider grinned, his eyes trailing down to her fingers. "If you
keep gulping your wine, what do you expect?" he gently teased. "There's
no rush, you know."

"I know." Her mournful expression brightened suddenly and she giggled,
taking another sip. "You know, K'lar, if you changed the 'r' in your name
to an 'h', your name would be 'klah'."

"You turn into a philosopher when you drink I see," he chuckled, reaching
for the bottle to add another splash of wine to her glass. "I think
you're a glass ahead of me now. I'd better catch up!"

"I really shouldn't drink so much," she admitted softly, trailing her
finger around the edge of the glass. "I need to be there for Lyndi."

"I thought Birigundi is taking care of your daughter tonight. You can
have a little fun, Nia," he said softly, laying his arm across the back of
the sofa. His fingers reached out to brush imaginary hairs away from her
forehead before caressing down her cheek. "Faranth knows you deserve a
little fun."

She blinked up at him. Shells, she wanted to believe him. Maybe she
should believe him. Wasn't that why she was here? To forget? To enjoy
herself with a man--a _man_--who liked her? "Convince me?"

"Convince you?" K'lar wasn't quite sure how she meant. If it had been
anyone else he would have assumed exactly what they meant, but Nia had
made it clear that their relationship would progress at a slow pace. It
certainly wasn't that he didn't want to, but he was also afraid that he
might scare her away if he were reading her wrong.

She shakily set her glass down on the table, then turned her head to smile
shyly at him through her curtain of hair. Inching closer, she
hesitatingly pressed her body lightly to his. "Mmmhmm."

Well, if she was going to give him an invitation like that... K'lar
reached out to cup her face and pulled her gently into a soft kiss that
deepened as she responded to him. They had been practicing kissing for a
while now, but this was the first time there was a promise of something
more, and the brownrider found it hard not to move things along quickly.
But Nia was not that kind of girl. He knew she needed a tender hand.

She shivered as his hands drifted down her neck to hold her shoulders.
The warmth of his fingers sank into the thin fabric of her blouse,
reaching her skin. An image rose unbidden in her mind--an image of his
hands caressing her naked arms, peeling away cloth as his lips came down
to...... Heat flushed her cheeks and she pulled back slightly, nipping
his upper lip, frustrated with herself to feel that hint of shame. There
was no shame in it! And she was determined to put her guilt out of her
head. Nialyn gripped his arms, mouth drifting down his throat.....his
pulse throbbed beneath her tongue, and the feeling thrilled her. Tonight
she would lose herself in this.....in feeling like this.

K'lar's hand slipped into her hair as he lifted her face, this time holding
nothing back when he kissed her. Shards but she was intoxicating! She
seemed so innocent and fragile when they were talking, her eyes and her
blushes practically screaming at him to hold her and protect her. And yet
it was obvious that she knew how to touch a man in such a way as to strip
all shreds of sense away. He pressed her back against the arm of the
sofa, thrilling at the feeling of her under him, pressing up into him...
Her name escaped his lips in a hoarse whisper as his lips traveled down
her throat, and his hands began to wander.

Lips parted slightly, she closed her eyes as her own hands began to shyly
explore him, tracing the line of his spine through his tunic, but not
drifting any lower than the small of his back. Despite the haze of wine,
she realized that she had missed this, missed being touched like this.
The ache that pierced her was a fierce one--and it felt almost as if
Birigundi was the one trapping her against the arm of the sofa, pinning
her to the cushions beneath them. But the body that pressed against her
now was bigger, broader with the hard muscles of a dragonrider, not the
lean ones of a runner's physique. The mouth that trailed hot kisses
across her throat was smaller than his--and she made a soft sound when he
found that particular spot that was so sensitive to touch. Biri wouldn't
have had to search for it...he would have gone straight to it. Her
fingers tightened in his shirt. Shards....Biri.

The brownrider couldn't guess that he was not the man on her mind as his
lips traced her collarbone. His fingertips began caressing her skin until
he found the first tie of her tunic. The way she kneaded his shirt and
her chest rose and fell to brush her skin against his knuckles with each
breath made it hard for him to not charge ahead. But Nia could not be
treated like a convenient lay. As much as he wanted to have her, he
wanted to show her that he was not like the man who had hurt her. He
would take care of her. He would love her. If he was going to convince
her of anything, he wanted it to be that.

Nialyn's eyes flickered open when she felt her blouse loosening, when she
felt his fingertips brushing against the soft flesh of her chest. He
wasn't going to stop. The thought made her heart pound even harder. Once
more Birigundi's face flashed in her mind, and she swiftly kicked the
image of him away. She wanted this. _Needed_ this. Birigundi flaunted
his other lays, why couldn't she have another man? Why did she still feel
like she was betraying him, despite everything that had happened? Her
breath caught as K'lar shifted his body, hips pressing down against hers.
Too fast. Wasn't it too fast? But she wanted this--wanted him. Her
trembling hand slid underneath his shirt, hesitantly stroking his skin for
the very first time.

K'lar wasn't satisfied with just feeling her hands against his skin. He
sat up just enough to reach over his head and pull his shirt off
completely. His smoldering eyes as he looked down at her told Nia that
her shirt was next.

Her heart thudded almost painfully in her chest as she stared, wide-eyed,
up at him.

The sudden fear in her eyes didn't escape his notice. It had been a long
time, and K'lar cautioned himself to slow down, though Faranth knew it was
hard. He leaned down and kissed her softly, almost teasingly as his
fingers traced a line along the loosened ties of her blouse from her
throat down to her navel. His lips began to follow.

Too fast. Her eyes closed as her hands braced themselves on his
shoulders. It was too fast. Despite the wine, and the way her body
felt--despite her desire--she couldn't do this. Not now. "K'lar." Her
voice was hoarse, and she wet her lips, fingers tightening on him.
"Wait."

**Shards....** He looked up at her, hoping she was just going to ask if
she could switch positions, but the brownrider already had a sinkingly
frustrating suspicion that was not the case.

"I.....I can't. Shards, K'lar, I can't."

"Nia," he murmured softly, reaching up to cradle her face. "Just enjoy
yourself, and don't think about the past. You can move on. It's all
right." And Faranth knew he really didn't want to stop, though he would
not push it if she really was not ready. He had taken plenty of cold
baths in his day.

She knew he didn't want to stop, and as she shifted against him her cheeks
burned with embarrassment--and guilt. "I just....." She swallowed
thickly, trying to regain her composure. It was so hard to look at him.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's all right, Nia," he quickly assured her, pushing down his
frustration. She needed him to take care of her needs at this moment far
more than he needed to take care of his own. "It will come with time.
Baby steps, maybe?" Next time he would certainly be careful not to push
her so fast - for _both_ their sakes.

She bit her lower lip, hesitating briefly before nodding. "It's just been
so long, and I haven't...I haven't been with anyone since...." **Biri.**

"I know," he said gently as he reached a leg over to the floor and
reluctantly disentangled himself from her. "It takes time. But you're
not bound to him, Nia. You're not doing anything wrong by moving on."
K'lar assumed already Birigundi had. The bastard.

Shakily she pushed herself into a sitting position, knees curled up to her
chest--a defensive posture. "Sometimes it feels wrong."

"It feels wrong because you were raised to think you should be only with
one man." He had been raised to think the same way, and deep down, he
liked that way much better, though Faranth knew he was guilty of indulging
in frivolous relationships as well. "But you're not bound to him anymore.
You are free to go on with your life, just as he's free to go on with
his."

She lifted her hazy eyes to his. "Did you have to move on?" The question
was out of her mouth before she could consider it. He'd obviously had had
other women in his life--he was a dragonrider, for Faranth's sake--but she
had never brought up the fact. Before, she didn't _want_ to know, but now
she was admittedly a little curious.

"Yeah," he nodded, feeling a bit calmer now. "Yeah, I've been knocked
around a few times."

"It hurts."

"I know it does," K'lar murmured softly, leaning over to kiss the arm
curled protectively around her knees. "But it doesn't hurt forever."

She bit her lip, wanting to believe him. Maybe he was right. All she
needed was time. Carefully she uncurled herself before hesitantly moving
closer, gently resting her head on his shoulder.

Part of him wished she wouldn't sit so close. Faranth knew it was hard
not to think about the fact that her shirt was still half undone, of how
her skin felt and tasted. But she needed him now. He curled an arm
around her and tried not to think about how wonderful her hair smelled.
"It's all right, Nia. I know it takes time. But just know I'm here
whenever you're ready for me."

Last updated on the September 3rd 2008

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Whenever You're Ready