What Happiness Looks Like

Writers: Devin, Halyonix
Date Posted: 7th October 2025
Series: Bronze and Blue Entwined

Characters: K'mai, I'serin
Description: I'serin sets up a romantic candlelight dinner.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 9, day 27 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: E'tariax

K'mai

I'serin

E'tariax had given I'serin the directive to think about what happiness looked like for himself. Inviting K'mai to his bath that evening had given I'serin more of an idea. He was still uncomfortable with his sexuality in public but in private...

Looking around his weyr, I'serin wondered briefly if he had let his imagination run too wild. Glows had been arranged in strategic places, with a small line of them leading to a lavishly set table, giving the space an ambience that it usually lacked. A simple call down the service shaft would have dinner delivered. I'serin looked down at himself, dressed in finery. The harpers' tales always made it sound...romantic. Perhaps it was too much?

There was only one way to find out. I'serin sent a message through Aluneth for K'mai to meet him, reminding the dragon to say nothing more.

**In his weyr again?** K'mai thought with a smile. I'serin was definitely getting braver about these things. After quickly rearranging his plans, he had Sebeth drop him off on the Weyrleader's ledge. He was unzipping his riding jacket as he stepped inside. "Well, well, I . . ." K'mai froze. There were glows. The table set for dinner. I'serin was dressed up. For a moment all K'mai could do was stare. "A romantic dinner?" he finally managed. It wasn't something he'd ever wanted.

Until now.

I'serin wore his nerves in his eyes. "It is...acceptable?" he asked, kicking himself internally a moment later because it sounded quite lame and the harper tales had always painted a picturesque moment of grand eloquence and style. A sweeping off one's feet.

"Acceptable?" K'mai said with a huff of laughter. He crossed the distance between them in a few quick strides, almost running, and pulled I'serin into a kiss. "It's wonderful. _You're_ wonderful."

The bronzerider sank into that kiss. "No one will bother us," he informed K'mai. "We have the evening to share."

"I'serin . . ." K'mai was at a loss again, overwhelmed at the gesture, at what it meant. "Thank you."

Recalling to mind harper tales, I'serin steered himself back into the romantic part. "Come. Sit. Food will be here shortly," he said, tugging K'mai towards the table. He held out the chair for the bluerider and then went to shout down the service shaft. While they waited, I'serin uncorked the wine and poured the drinks. "A toast?" he suggested.

K'mai lifted his glass. "To your ever-growing courage."

I'serin winced lightly (he did not feel courageous) but replied with, "To...us."

The bluerider touched their glasses together. "To us." He took a sip, watching I'serin with a gentle expression. "Not good with compliments, are you?"

I'serin choked down his sip. "Shells, no," he said sharply. "But...that is my problem to work through. Another day." He reached forward to hold K'mai's hand, then brought it to his lips to kiss. "E'tariax advised me to think about what my happiness should look like. I...thought this might be a good experiment."

"Happiness looks like a romantic dinner with me? I . . . kind of want to joke about being flattered, but I'm really just . . . delighted." That sunlight feeling filled K'mai again. "I'm glad you're doing this for yourself at least as much as for me. You deserve to be happy."

I'serin kissed K'mai's hand again as he heard the service shaft rumble. "You make me feel happy," he said as he went to fetch their food. He set one plate in front of K'mai first and then sat back down with his. "Shall we?"

K'mai ate for a while, enjoying the fact that I'serin had set all this up for both of them. "I used to panic a little whenever someone surprised me with a romantic dinner. It meant I was going to have to try to let them down easy," he said with a melancholy smile.

"What were you afraid of?" I'serin inquired even as he made a small bite from his own plate to feed to K'mai. He found that he liked doing that -- feeding, taking care of. It made him feel like a protector.

The bluerider's smile brightened and he took the offered bite. His expression grew pensive as he chewed. "I hated that I would hurt their feelings. I worried they wouldn't believe me when I said I don't fall in love with people." H'run certainly hadn't. "I was afraid it would wreck our whole relationship, the way weyrmating with Gaiya did."

I'serin thought on this for a moment. "You worried that you could not meet their expectations and that perhaps you would be tied down?" he inquired.

"I was afraid of losing a friend when they wanted something I couldn't give them." K'mai thought of H'run again, how they'd just gotten back to being bedmates before K'mai ruined it by using him after that flight.

The bronzerider thought he heard something in K'mai's tone and reached forward to cover his hand in a gentle hold. He tried to summon up words but failed as a myriad of sayings and advice collided in his mouth, all inadequate. Eventually, he brought K'mai's hand to his mouth for a gentle kiss.

K'mai's troubled expression melted into a warm smile. "But it's different with you, because I do have romantic feelings, and because we already talked about it."

"I am glad that we are in different places in our lives now," I'serin answered. He poked around for another bite but did not release K'mai's hand. "I will admit that...the idea of being romantic with someone did not appeal to me as much either. Mostly because I was expected to be romantic with a woman. And I...did not want to hurt someone like that either."

"I wish you never had to hide who you were attracted to. But I suppose it led us here eventually." K'mai rubbed his thumb over I'serin's knuckles. "When I saw you had dinner set up, I didn't feel any fear or dread, just . . . joy."

To this, I'serin smiled softly. "I am glad." A pause, and then, with a light chuckle, "Because I was quite nervous. The harper tales always make this sound so easy. They never mention the nerves."

"Faranth, you're so adorable." K'mai's gaze was full of soft affection. "Dinner . . . baths . . . you're going to spoil me."

Piecing together another bite to offer the bluerider, I'serin asked, "Would you dislike that?"

"Not at all, love. As long as I can spoil you, too."

The bronzerider smiled softly. "Deal," he answered. He swallowed another bite. "I believe you will like dessert."

"Are _you_ dessert?" K'mai licked his lips.

"I am _part_ of dessert," he said. He used his spoon to push forward a small bowl of flavored cream. And let his expression do the talking from there.

K'mai looked at the bowl, then up at I'serin, eyes widening. "You . . . You really are the most amazing man, do you know that?" His mind was spinning with ideas and images. I'serin had _planned_ this.

I'serin wore a small, self-deprecating smile for a moment before dropping it to say, "You did your research. I did mine." Now, when it came to actual act, he might freeze up in overstimulation but at least he was putting forth an effort. He tapped the edge of K'mai's plate. "Eat. No getting ahead of dinner with ideas."

K'mai laughed. "I'm tempted to bolt this down, but you did go to all this effort, and the kitchens did a wonderful job." He speared a piece of meat, paused, and then offered it to I'serin. He liked feeding the bronzerider as much as he liked being fed. "The reality of licking cream off each other is probably messier than you think. But it's fun once in a while." A slow smile spread across his face. "Mmm, and we can take a bath after."

That also brought a smile to the bronzerider's face. "I did enjoy that bath."

"_That_ was very obvious, my dear I'serin." K'mai's heart fluttered a little as the endearment slipped out. But it hit home with the bronzerider, whose smile turned softer.

"Do not get too comfortable with the amenities," he semi-warned K'mai. "Though...we should enjoy them...um...thoroughly...while we can."

K'mai licked his lips. "How about your desk next?"

I'serin paled. But also...

He cleared his throat. "We...uh...could take that into...um...consideration," he fumbled through responding. Scenarios began colliding within his mind, jostling against the initial panic, until he felt...mostly...okay with the idea. If it came up.

The bluerider gave him a slow grin. "I've always fantasized about a Weyrleader taking me over his desk, but _you_ doing it would make it so much better than anything I dreamed up." He could picture it vividly.

This continued to cause scenario collisions in I'serin's mind until the bronzerider, overwhelmed, groaned softly and said, "I would have to move so many papers out of the way."

K'mai laughed, loud and hard. "I'serin, I love you so much."

"Thank Faranth someone does," I'serin murmured. He brought K'mai's hand to his mouth again for a kiss and then collected another bite to offer the bluerider.

"Are you going to feed me your whole plate?" K'mai teased before leaning over to take the bite.

"Possibly," I'serin answered lightly, "if that would make you happy." But made himself a bite while K'mai chewed.

K'mai looked at him with bright, warm eyes. "How did I get so lucky?" I'serin had been given so little affection for most of his life, and yet he was so willing to give it himself. To K'mai.

The bronzerider thought he was the luckier of the two, though he still wrestled with why he deserved it. He leaned forward to kiss the corner of K'mai's mouth. "I am glad that you are liking this," he said.

"I love it." K'mai glanced down at his plate. "Can I stay all night?" he asked -- shy, uncertain, hopeful.

I'serin hated how that simple question still caused panic to surge forward within him. He started to instinctively say no. He swallowed against it. He opened his mouth to make an excuse but it stuck.

}: Courage, :{ Aluneth whispered.

I'serin gripped K'mai's hand tightly. "I...want you. To stay. Though it terrifies me still." He swallowed down a bit more of the panic. "Be gentle with me, please," he begged in a small voice, in case panic suddenly ruled him at one crucial point.

"I will, I just . . . I want to hold you while we sleep, and we haven't had many chances for that." For some reason, admitting that made the bluerider feel shy.

They had not had many chances for that, I'serin inwardly agreed. His stomach still churned with fear as he kissed K'mai's knuckles. "Let...us try it. I will do my best not to panic."

K'mai was once again touched at how much I'serin was willing to try for him. "If anyone asks, I got drunk and fell asleep on your couch."

I'serin chuckled weakly. At least that excuse was believable. He made another bite for the bluerider. "Eat. So that we can move on to dessert."

Last updated on the October 18th 2025

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What Happiness Looks Like